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What it Takes to Have a Healthy Marriage
About 50 percent of marriages end in divorce in the United States. Why is that? Most relationships end because of the lack of simple fundamentals needed. Torvald and Nora from A Doll’s House by Henrik Ibsen, are prime examples of a relationship that ended, but could have been avoided. They lack key fundamentals to maintain a healthy marriage. The most important things to live by for a successful marriage would be honesty, communication, and commitment. Every marriage takes effort and dedication.
Honesty is the key to maintaining any type of relationship, especially a marriage. When a person breaks their partner’s trust, it causes worry and internal insecurities. Torvald and Nora in the story A Doll’s
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She is constantly lying to Torvald throughout the whole story. She says what she thinks Torvald wants to hear in order to please him. Lying about simple things like Nora has no effect on the progression of a relationship. It had eventually gotten so bad between the couple that others started noticing their struggles.
MRS. LINDE: Yes, in the first panic. But it’s been a whole day and night since then, and in that time I've seen such incredible things in the house. Helmer’s got to learn everything; this dreadful secret has to be aired; those two have to come to full understanding; all these lie and avasions can’t go on (Act 3).
Even Nora’s childhood best friend was aware of their problems as she was explaining to Krogstad. Honesty is a way of life, not just a behavior. Breaking the rule of honesty causes the loss of trust.
Anyone has the power to build a happy marriage by communicating. Lack of communication in relationships can magnify problems and make them worse. In the story Nora and Torvald lack basic communication. Torvald treats Nora as his doll and she does not do much to stop
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Her and her husband were never able to realize their issues because they were never brought up into conversation. She realized their problems could have been avoided if she had explained to Torvald how she was feeling. Communicating had been avoided so long with them Nora almost lost herself.
Commitment is the base of any marriage. Vowing to commit yourself to another person through sickness and health is what marriage is about. In the story, Torvald and Nora did not fully commit themselves to one another. After eight years of marriage Nora finally got the courage to explain to Torvald how she feels about how he treats her. Right after she did so she did not even hesitate to try to stay and work things out. She packed her bags and left Torvald and her kids. HELMER:But you are my wife, now and always?
NORA: Listen, Torvald: when a wife leaves her husband’s house, as I am doing, I have heard that in the eyes of the law he is free from all duties toward her. At any rate I release you from all duties. You must not feel yourself bound any more than I shall. There must be perfect freedom on both sides. There, there is your ring back. Give me mine (Act
Nora keeps a dangerous secret from Torvald in order for them to still appear "normal" to society. Consequently, they are not honest with each other so they cannot keep their marriage together. Nora pretends to "be someone she is not in order to fulfill the role that Torvald, her father, and society at large have expected of her" (Gillis). She is also wronged because she is led to believe "she was happy, that she was an ideal wife, and that her husband loves her" (Goonetilleke) only to find out he impulsively refuses to stay with her because she has committed a crime.
Torvald was not the best husband in the world, but Nora chose to marry him. Nora never really got a chance to know Torvald. Torvald had his eye on Nora from the beginning. So he help her father and for that Nora was grateful, and thus became Mr. & Mrs. Helmer. It sounds like a very romantic story, but little did Nora know what would be in store for her. Torvald treated Nora like she was his child, I guess that is because he took no part in raising his children the he and Nora had together. If Nora would have taken the time to find out if Torvald was the one for her, then maybe it wouldn't have taken her eight years to realize that she never really loved him.
However, as the plot starts to unfold, Nora starts to take over the role that Torvald seemed to have. When Torvald becomes aware of how Nora borrowed money, he immediately worries more about his reputation than her. As he starts to realize that no one will ever find out about what Nora did, he forgives her and starts treating her as if she was his little puppy. He once again calls her pet names and tries to be affectionate. Unfortunately, when Nora tells Torvald that she is leaving, the power he once had
Time and time again, characters like Nora and Torvald show how dishonesty leads to unhealthy relationships.Because their marriage was formed on a basis of lies and fake behavior, once this falls apart revealing the truth, the marriage falls apart. Had Nora and Torvald been able to communicate honestly, they likely would be in a much different situation. These themes, therefore, ended up shaping the entire book, from the background of their relationship to the conflict to the
Throughout the story, Torvald is constantly angry with Nora. He also tries to control everything she does. At the beginning of the story, Torvald accuses Nora of eating sweets. He says to her, ' Surely my sweet tooth hasn't been running riot in town today has she?'(Ibsen 874). He continues to pester her after she denies it several times. Later on Nora tells Kristine, ??. Torvald had forbidden them. You see, he?s worried they?ll ruin my teeth?(Ibsen 883). If Torvald really loved Nora, he would not care about petty things like that. If he truly loved her, he would not care if her teeth were ruined. He likes Nora for her looks and beauty, not her personality or character. Not only is he controlling of Nora, but also very angry towards her. When he finds out about her taking out a loan to save his life, he explodes on her. Torvald says to her, ? Oh what an awful awakening! In all these eight years- she who was my pride and joy ? a hypocrite, a liar ? Worse, worse ? a criminal?(Ibsen 916). Torvald does not truly love Nora if he can speak to her that way. Even after he say...
Nora’s behavior towards Torvald in expecting him to fall on the grenade that Nora created was in fact unreasonable. Also, at the end of the scene when Nora decided to abandon Torvald and her children was also unreasonable. Ultimately, Nora was unreasonably hard on Torvald and showed no consideration towards her children’s need of their
Without trust, two partners can not truly depend on one another. Again, Torvald and Nora’s marriage fits this description. After the truth about Nora’s borrowing arose, Torvald turned on her. The extent of his trust was shown when he told Nora that he, “ought to have suspected that something of the sort would happen” (Ibsen 717). Torvald basically told Nora that she was no better than her father, and that he was second-guessing his marriage to her (Ibsen 717). Obviously, the trust that he had for Nora was slim to none. Torvald’s complete absence of trust in Nora also led to the demise of their marriage. As seen in this play, trust is a key aspect in any relationship between
Torvald's behaviour once he reads Krogstad's letter totally demolishes the illusion Nora has taken refuge in, and the lectures he delivers to Nora at the start of the scene remind us unmistakably of what a total social prig he is, determined to salvage what he can by deception and very angry at Nora for what she has done. We are right to find what he says very offensive, especially since he makes no sympathetic attempt to talk to her, to explore her motivation, to share the crisis together as two individuals at a critical point in their lives together.
Thus, Nora was reared to be submissive to her husband, caretaker of their children, and to maintain a spirit of grace and beauty throughout. Consequently, education, equality, and involvement in financial matters were unnecessary for a married woman to partake of. Although, when one gets a taste of freedom and independence it burns within their soul until the fire is quenched. The revelation of Nora’s unhappiness for more than eight years was a bitter shock to Torvald unfortunately too late for him to change and learn to love the person and not the idea of her. Still, one cannot love a person they do not know. Relationships that are built on deceit and manipulation will never stand the test of time, honesty friendship, and equality are the ingredients to a successful
Rather than thinking about Nora at all he is caught up with how it will affect his reputation and he only cares about appearances. Torvald is locked in place as the authority of the house, provider, moral of the household, and head over his wife by the fear of ruining his
Rather than worrying about Nora’s well being, Torvald is more concentrated on his own reputation. While declaring Nora a criminal, he quotes, “…it must appear as if everything between us were just as before – but naturally only in the eyes of the world” (Ibsen 73). Torvald is clearly already devising a plan to cover up Nora’s mistake so that they may still look normal and content to the public.
Nora does not like the fact that Torvald must be the more dominant partner according to society. Nora wants to show everyone how she isn’t just
When two people become one through marriage, they are choosing to give their life to their significant other despite their flaws. Lou Salome brings up a valuable point when he says, “For the husband who towers so high above her has not inclined himself to give fatherly solicitude and accustomed sustenance, but out of his free choice has elevated her to be his wife, to be one within” (69). In other words, although Torvald is not always perfect (and neither is Nora), he still chose Nora to be his wife. No relationship, whether it is mother and daughter, father and son, best friends, boyfriend and girlfriend, or husband and wife, no relationship is impeccable. Relationships, especially marriage, like Nora and Torvald, are bound to have disagreements and face complications along the way, that’s how many will develop and become stronger, they overcome challenging times. Torvald demonstrated his love and support throughout the play. In act two, Nora pleads for her husband to call the maid back from giving her blackmailer, Krogstad, his dismissal letter. Nora says to Torvald, “Do you hear me, Torvald, call her back! You don’t know what this letter can do to us” (Ibsen 361). Nora becomes distraught and Torvald comforts her by saying, “Well, well, we’ll share the burden, Nora, as man and wife should” (Ibsen 361). This quote is significant because it suggests Torvald
Instead, she considers her marriage life as a limited period during when she and Torvald seem to be fond of each other. Plus, it also suggests that acting like a lovely naggy child, dancing and staying pretty in front of Torvald does not reflect the real image of Nora. She does those things to get kindness and delights from Torvald, and to keep Torvald call her “my squirrel,” “my sweet little lark,” “my little songbird”(799, 801, 818). In fact, that makes her blind from the real purpose of her marriage. Worse is the more Nora acts like a childish woman to Torvald, the more Torvald sees her as a treasure that he needs to care to get pleasure on rather than as a life partner that he should respect.
When Nora was being blackmailed and threatened, she convinced herself that if Torvald were to find out, he would take the blame himself and handle Krogstad. When Torvald found out, he blamed Nora and punished her, saying she wasn't to be around the children, saying she was the murderer of his happiness, she was a liar and was corrupt. Torvald cared more about his social status and apperance than Nora and her well being, which is what caused Nora to realize that she doesn't know the man that she married at all, and she had to find herself without a male pressing his beliefs onto her. Nora realized that she never understood herself or