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Fatherhood in Chinua Achebe as things fall apart
Relationship between father and son essay
Elementary topic father and son relations
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A healthy and open father and son relationship is crucial in a young boys life. A child craves that relationship and for his father’s affection. It can determine how his adolescence and adulthood goes. A poor relationship can cause the son to go into a downward spiral. Many factors can cause this relationship to become poor. This year we read two books where I felt the main prominence in them were the poor father and son relationships and how that affected their thoughts and behaviors. In Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe and in Samurai’s Garden by Gail Tsukiyama laziness, dishonesty, and disapproval are factors that cause an unhealthy father and son relationship. Laziness may seem like a minor reason but it is very detrimental to a father and son relationship. In Things Fall Apart Okonkwo’s father is very lazy, which ultimately leads to unconventional family dynamics in the eyes of the child ( 4 Achebe). In a child’s eye the father is …show more content…
the provider and the mother is the nurturer. If the father is to lazy the child loses respect and turns to the mother. A father and son relationship is based on respect so when that is lost it can hurt the child. Children depend on the father to provide for the family; when those needs are not met then child feels neglected and without another role model. Now laziness can be reversed but dishonesty is a character flaw, dishonesty is an obvious factor that can cause a poor father and son relationship, but this is the biggest factor.
For example in Samurai’s Garden, Stephan’s father showed dishonesty by having an affair with the Japanese woman and giving his mistress money ( 83 Tsukiyama). A father and son relationship is built on respect and trust, and when a father is untruthful that can destroy that relationship. Stephan felt uncomfortable around his father after that realizing that the world he was living in was full of deception. Another example is in Things Fall Apart, Okonkwo kills Ikemefuna but never tells Nwoye, which creates a further strain in their relationship when Nwoye finds out the real truth about it ( 52 Achebe). Nwoye felt he had no father so he used Ikemefuna as a role model. Okonkwo killed him and refused to tell Nwoye; Nwoye felt as though he had been lied to causing him to lose trust in his father. Trust is very important and it’s easy to lose but hard to
earn. Children crave approval from their parents, they think the sun rises and sets on them, so when they are left with disapproval they feel empty and find they have no identity. In Things Fall Apart Okonkwo showed harsh disapproval towards Nwoye for not being a warrior or a hard worker just like him ( 127 Achebe). The first few years of a young boys life are spent looking for that approval from the father to create a sense of identity and when that isn’t found they begin to look elsewhere. Okonkwo’s disapproval, forced Nwoye to feel as though he didn’t fit in anywhere causing him to find another group to become his family and find a relationship where he felt accepted so he converted to Christianity. Children look up to their fathers, so finding that healthy relationship is crucial for their development, so Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe and Samurai’s Garden by Gail Tsukiyama show how crucial a healthy father and son relationship can be and the reasons that could factor into the reason for that unhealthy relationship.
The chapter “A Fathers Influence” is constructed with several techniques including selection of detail, choice of language, characterization, structure and writers point of view to reveal Blackburn’s values of social acceptance, parenting, family love, and a father’s influence. Consequently revealing her attitude that a child’s upbringing and there parents influence alter the characterization of a child significantly.
There are different types of parent and child relationships. There are relationships based on structure, rules, and family hierarchy. While others are based on understanding, communication, trust, and support. Both may be full of love and good intentions but, it is unmistakable to see the impact each distinct relationship plays in the transformation of a person. In Chang’s story, “The Unforgetting”, and Lagerkvist’s story, “Father and I”, two different father and son relationships are portrayed. “The Unforgetting” interprets Ming and Charles Hwangs’ exchange as very apathetic, detached, and a disinterested. In contrast, the relationship illustrated in the “Father and I” is one of trust, guidance, and security. In comparing and contrasting the two stories, there are distinct differences as well as similarities of their portrayal of a father and son relationship in addition to a tie that influences a child’s rebellion or path in life.
From birth Okonkwo had wanted his son, Nwoye, to be a great warrior like him. His son instead rebelled and wanted to be nothing like Okonkwo. Okonkwo would not change so that his son would idolize him, as he had wanted since his son's birth. He chose not to acknowledge his son's existence instead. This would weigh heavily on anyone's conscience, yet Okonkwo does not let his relationship with his son affect him in the least bit.
Fathers and sons have special bonds that connect them in a different way from other individuals. Although they may not expose much emotion, respect and honor are key factors that link their relationships. Siddhartha and his father had a certain understanding towards each other. Siddhartha loved, feared, respected and was patient towards his father; an equal amount of these traits were reciprocated with the addition of understanding.
In conclusion, the affect of the relationship largely depends on the quality of communication between parents and children. The parents’ may need to examine their children’s objection, and vice versa. This can be shown in “Romeo and Juliet”, “Her Father” and “My father thought it Bloody Queer”, where all parents have lack of communication with their children. They show their parental love by deciding what the best is for their children; they insist their children to do as they are told. As a result, children attitude begins to change as their parents have neglected their feeling. This causes suffering for parents and children which may end their relationship.
The role of a father could be a difficult task when raising a son. The ideal relationship between father and son perhaps may be; the father sets the rules and the son obeys them respectfully. However it is quite difficult to balance a healthy relationship between father and son, because of what a father expects from his son. For instance in the narratives, “Death of a Salesman,” and “Fences” both Willy and Troy are fathers who have a difficult time in earning respect from their sons, and being a role model for them. Between, “Death of a Salesman,” and “Fences,” both protagonists, Willy and Troy both depict the role of a father in distinctive ways; however, in their struggle, Willy is the more sympathetic of the two.
Caldwell, Tracy M. “The Negative Effects Of Parent And Child Conflict.” Literary Theme: The Negative Effects Of Parent & Child Conflict (2006): 1-5. Literary Reference Center. Web. 30 Jan. 2014.
Okonkwo is “a man of action, a man of war” (7) and a member of high status in the Igbo village. He holds the prominent position of village clansman due to the fact that he had “shown incredible prowess in two intertribal wars” (5). Okonkwo’s hard work had made him a “wealthy farmer” (5) and a recognized individual amongst the nine villages of Umuofia and beyond. Okonkwo’s tragic flaw isn’t that he was afraid of work, but rather his fear of weakness and failure which stems from his father’s, Unoka, unproductive life and disgraceful death. “Perhaps down in his heart Okonkwo was not a cruel man. But his whole life was dominated by fear, the fear of failure and weakness….It was not external but lay deep within himself. It was the fear of himself, lest he should be found to resemble his father.” Okonkwo’s father was a lazy, carefree man whom had a reputation of being “poor and his wife and children had just barely enough to eat... they swore never to lend him any more money because he never paid back.” (5) Unoka had never taught Okonkwo what was right and wrong, and as a result Okonkwo had to interpret how to be a “good man”. Okonkwo’s self-interpretation leads him to conclude that a “good man” was someone who was the exact opposite of his father and therefore anything that his father did was weak and unnecessary.
The boy appears to play the role of the responsible adult more so than the father does. The boy has typical signs of a child from today’s broken family relationships; he does not want to disappoint either parent. The boy s...
In the novel Things Fall Apart, the parents have positive and negative effects on the people around them. Okonkwo has very little self control over the things he does. But even though Okonkwo has little self control and may make mistakes, he also has positive effects on Nwoye his son and people close in his life. He also has negative effects on Nwoye which cause permanent damage in his relationship with him. Along with the mistakes Okonkwo has made, there has been people who have also influenced him to have good intentions and bad intentions, like his father.
While everyone was working on their farm, Unoka did nothing but drink, dance, and just plainly prayed to the gods. Okonkwo was ashamed of him and did everything possible to never end up like his father. When the narrator stated, “With father like Unoka, Okonkwo did not have the start in life which many young men had…But he threw himself into it like one possessed. And indeed he was possessed by the fear of his father’s contemptible life and shameful death” (pg. 18). The shame of a father like Unoka drove Okonkwo into the passion of being nothing but successful in his life. Everything about Okonkwo had to be acknowledged and respected whether be his family or the people in the village. The true hatred of his father derived his power when the author stated, “Okonkwo was ruled by one passion- to hate everything that his father Unoka had loved. One of those things was gentleness and another was idleness” (pg.13). Also, another statement that represents the flaw in Okonkwo is the way he is when it comes to his father, not defeating him or fighting for the father that raised him even thought they were poor, the gesture of lowing your head to the outer of your father’s name in disgrace when the narrator stated, “ … ‘Ask my dead father of he ever had a fowl when he was alive’ Everybody laughed heartily except Okonkwo, who laughed uneasily
In Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, father-son relationships are very important. Okonkwo who is very strong, and very wise, and is known throughout the village as a great. Nwoye, Okonkwo’s son, is the exact opposite, very lazy and shy. This created a problem between them. In fact, Nwoye has had a burning hatred for his father throughout the novel.
What if a person’s relationship with his father determined if he lived or died, or if he would ever see his mother or siblings again? For the children of Okonkwo in Things Fall Apart it did. Things Fall Apart takes place in Nigeria in the early nineteenth century. The novel focuses on the life of Okonkwo, a man famous for winning a wrestling match against the greatest wrestler in all the local villages, when he was just eighteen years old. Okonkwo’s family consisted of his three wives and ten children, they lived in a village called Umuofia. Okonkwo didn’t have very good relationships with most of his children, and most people in general. Okonkwo had different relationships with all of his children because they were all individuals, their relationships with their father constructed all of their futures in diverse ways.
In the Igbo world, family seems not as crucial as the modern world, at least Okonkwo does not care too much about all family members. Okonkwo’s first son named Nwoye, supposed be act like his father, is causing Okonkwo great anxiety. Instead of teaching him to be a real warrior, he does not spend a lot of time to train his son. He fear Nwoye will become his nightmare, Okonkwo’s father, and Okonkwo also afraid to teach Nwoye by himself. As a result, Nwoye grows up with his mother. Since Okownkwo is too timid to undertake raising responsibility, his son became the man as similar as Okownkwo’s father. Okownwo himself does not impute his mistakes about raising his son to his fear. Consequently, he blames his son to become a coward. During the exile, Okownwo is planning to help his other two sons to earn their titles and consider his daughters marriages. If Nwoye does not join the white people, Okownkwo will still give up on him. Even a criminal has his second chance, why Nwoye can not? Okownkwo is surrounded by his own fear, because he knows he is lack of ability to persuade his son to become a real warrior in the Igbo world. As a result, he chose the simplest way to avoid trouble, deserting his first son. In the whole story, Okownkwo never mentions about his mother’s name, though he is aware of mother is supreme. Okownkwo also ask his daughter to marry in his father’s village instead of his mother’s. Ikemefuna has not any blood connection with Okownkwo’s family, but he helps Okonkwo’s family a lot, he could be called a half family member in Okownkwo’s family. Someone thinks Ikemefuna could be a potential menace to the whole clan, so Okownkwo choose to believe Ikemefuna will cause a lot of problem in the future. No matter how much Ikemefuna contribute to this family, Okownkwo choose to kill him. After killing Ikemefuna, Okownkwo regrets and suffers. He fear to break the
In Achebe’s Things Fall Apart, Okonkwo is an extremely complex character who experiences a variety of emotions which he has a difficult time controlling. He experiences a never ending battle of psychosomatic symptoms, starting with his obsession over the conflict of the past with his father, Unoka. Okonkwo portrays himself as a heroic, strong warrior, only to mask the feelings of intense anger, fear, and selfishness that provokes him, which inevitably leads him down the same path as his father. He feels a strong hatred towards his father because he believes that his father had no masculine qualities, he owed everyone money, and owned no titles. Achebe states: