Impact of Negative Childhood Messages on Adult Life

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Some messages and beliefs we unconsciously take in as kids are life-giving, while others wound. Most of us unknowingly surrender our lives to the messages that most perforate our beauty”. (Crone & Stable, 2016, pg. 33) In reading these words, I reflected on how for the first twenty-one years of my life I fixated on wound messages from my childhood and the negative effect these messages had on my self-concept, friendships, education, and relationship with God (Smith, C. In Class Hand Out, January 29, 2018). As a child people would tell you, “ you will be just like your mother, an illiterate welfare teen mother with no father for your kids.” Or, “shut-up you don’t know what you’re talking about, your just stupid." And “are you sure, your such …show more content…

Building Blocks of Communication. January 22, 2018). As a leader in my church community, I’ve experienced this illusion of communication taking place (Smith, Cheryl. Building Blocks of Communication. January 22, 2018). Before attending this interpersonal communication course, I blamed others for I thought the problem was a lack of listening on their part. However, during the last five weeks, I concluded my communication skills need improvement. Aspects of verbal communication which need improvement include, developing my language skills, so the messages I send are clear and sensitive, keeping in mind the subgroups I work with and the potential language differences (Galvin, 1999). Additionally, speaking more clearly is also an aspect which I need to improve and can improve by expanding my vocabulary, speaking appropriately, avoiding jargon, slang and using language that is specific, concrete and precise as well as statements that are dated and indexed (Galvin, 1999). Facial expressions, vocal behavior, and working towards my voice, face and my body supporting my words are areas of nonverbal communication that need improvement (Galvin, 1999). As my family and mentor have provided feedback on how I verbally communicate a message, but my nonverbal communication does not support my words. Gaining this insight helped me understand why my son …show more content…

Galvin, (1999) also reports, if one of the steps to listening is missing, listening has not occurred and there are no shortcuts to active listening (p.61). In addition to reading Galvin’s _______________ I also interacted with a nonverbal immediacy scale and listening awareness inventory to provide insight on my communication skills (CHERYL SMITH, January 28, 2018). In my interaction with these assessments demonstrated I am below average on the nonverbal immediacy scale and need to work on my listening awareness (Cheryl Smith, January 28, 2018). Aside from my results my husband and sister completed the nonverbal immediacy scale and listening awareness inventory on my behalf. Their results we opposite to my findings, both my husband and sister rated me at the mean on the nonverbal immediacy scale and a good listener on the listening awareness inventory (Smith, C. Listening Awareness Inventory & Nonverbal Immediacy Scale. January 28, 2018). Comparing my results and family results of these assessments leads me to the believe I am critical of myself and although I have room for growth my communication skills are not as terrible as deemed. Nevertheless, there is always room for growth. Thus, I feel I need to continue to work on the responding element. While participating in Reflective listening during a class session, it was

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