No one wants a situation to not work out in their favor. It is much more enjoyable when situations are compatible with what you want and how you want. Though this is what people want, other people may not have the same idea. In order to achieve what you want, you complain. Complaining effectively is crucial to make situations work out to your best interest.
Before you complain, the most important step is knowing what you want to achieve. Never ignite an argument without knowing for certain the circumstances that you either agree or disagree with, and what you think needs to be changed. Going into an argument unprepared lessens the chances for success, and the complaint will not be as convincing. Knowing what you want to achieve will show
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With knowing what you want to achieve comes the next component. Do not get mad, get even. Complaining has its ups and downs through the process. Your opponent might say something that offends you, or upsets you, before or even while you are complaining. Getting angry can result in complaining without thinking through what you want to say in advance. An argument between two angry people is less likely to contain logical reasoning, and an agreement will not be reached as easy. If you complain with the mindset of getting even, you will think more critically, and have a better chance of achieving your goal.
Now the vocal steps come into play. Threaten your opponent, not in a hostile way, but this is the time to bring out any blackmail you may have on the person. For example, if your dad will not let you go to your friend's house, threaten him by saying that you will tell mom about the time he had gambled and lost the money he was going to use to buy her an anniversary present. Threats are effective in getting the upper hand when complaining, and provides a solid pillow to fall back on if your complaint falls
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By not making eye contact, it makes the opponent feel as if they are superior to you, and have the ability to talk you down. Eye contact is a simple tactic that show opponents that you are serious about your opposition, and demand their respect. If the opponent respects and takes you seriously, they are more likely to take your complaint seriously.
Another skill to take into account while complaining is word choice. Being able to talk to people in a convincing manner greatly increases your chances of having a successful complaint. To do this, it is very important to know who you are talking to. Will they get offended easily? Will they be able to understand big words? You need to base the content of your complaint off what you know about the person whom you are complaining to. Knowing what they will understand and what they will not understand can be a true turning point on the success of the
Communication skills are important in professional negotiations and in personal life. This book discusses why we find some dialogue difficult, why we avoid it, and why we often address it ineffectively. Most important, the authors suggest methods for more effective, productive, and rewarding, interaction.
Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., & Switzer, A. (2005). Crucial confrontations: tools for resolving broken promises, violated expectations, and bad behavior. New York: McGraw-Hill.
3) After the other person's anger is sufficiently diffused, ask questions neutrally and respectfully to get more information.
2. Describe the problem, be specific, get both sides of the story, and separate feelings from the facts.
Communication is a very effective way of get things resolved. What we do at my work place, all staff have weekly meetings about positive and negative situations that have been encountered during the week. I find this very helpful because concerns or new ideas are brought. And we move al move along in the same page.
Complaining will simply become a habit, at that purpose you may forever see things during a negative lightweight. And your focus always be on the negative facet of your scenario, instead of what you'll do to fix it. Just like in the book on romeo and Juliet when Benvolio and Mercutio were waiting on the road later that day once Tybalt arrives. Tybalt demands to know about romeo's whereabout in order to challenge him to a duel because he came to the capulets party. However romeo happens to arrive. Tybalt challenges him, however romeo challenges romeo into a fight but romeo refused, Mercutio got angry that romeo refused the duel and then he jumpes in and starts to fight tybalt romeo tries to stop Mercutio and Tybalt from fighting however Tybalt cuts Mercutio and runs away, solely romeo bust to tears when he hears that Mercutio has died. Angry over his friend's death, romeo fights with Tybalt and kills him. Then,he decides to escape. once Escalus heard about romeo's crime he banishes romeo from Verona forever. And romeo decided to cry and complain about his banishment instead of him to man up and face his problems. In conclusion you must stop complaining after your make the wrong decision and it is your responsibility to pick you your self and fix your
No one has a perfect life; everyone has conflicts that they must face sooner or later. The ways in which people deal with these personal conflicts can differ as much as the people themselves. Some insist on ignoring the problem for as long as possible, while others face up to the problem immediately to get it out of the way.
It is important to know with whom you are arguing. If you are in a relationship
Eye contact can determine a person’s attitude and true feelings. People use eye contact in social situations to determine how and what a person is truly feeling. The amount of distance a person is from another along with the amount of eye contact used, can change the attraction level between two individual. This attraction can change the attitude of both parties towards each other (Goldman, 1980).
Disputes or conflicts can arise in any workplace, family home, or institution and they exist when one or more parties disagree with each other’s views and require the help, support, or service of a third party person to find a resolution. A fair and balanced conflict resolution process is important for the most effective outcome between two or more parties. Advocacy and mediation are two of many conflict resolutions that can be used in order to solve a problematic situation. However, certain situations require the skills, processes, and procedures that are exhibited by one more than the other. In some scenarios there may be a need to use both conflict resolutions if one does not proceed accordingly. Understanding the circumstance of the situation is ideal in discovering which conflict resolution would allow parties to come to a mutual agreement or resolution.
It is very important for managers at all levels to respond quickly and effectively to conflict within their workplace as the longer the conflict exists, the more damage it causes. For personal conflicts, the organization should have a published procedure for filing grievances:
If the conflicts happen every day of the week, that’s when you want to take notice of it because it does not create a healthy environment. Conflicts that get built up over time and when they are not addressed, they can create a disaster when another conflict arises. These triggers can create larger and more in depth conflicts when an argument arises. Don’t sweat the small issues. Put the small issues aside and don’t worry about them because chances are they will not make an impact. If you do choose to react however, make sure that the reaction is in a calm matter. Address to your significant other why you feel a certain way and make sure to make use of I-messages. For example, “I feel upset when you can’t put you phone down and talk to me.” This can be a very useful tactic because you are not getting angry at them or directly telling them what they did wrong in a mean
This elasticity in your approach to choosing which conflict style is best for the current situation is a key to managing conflict. No one style of conflict resolution will work all the time when addressing issues. You must remain flexible to other people’s wants, needs, direction, criticism, schedules, moods, temperament, and a myriad of other things in life. If there is one thing in life that will never change it is the fact that everything is going to change! There is nothing you can do to stop it, so the quicker you learn how to adapt to the changes the better off you will be. The ability to change your approach to dealing with conflict better prepares you to face the interpersonal challenges that will eventually come your way. I believe it is important to also remember that you cannot win every battle with every person you encounter. Knowing that you cannot fix or solve every problem with everyone is very helpful in reducing stress and managing difficult situations with others. My father dislikes when I use this cliché but sometimes, it is what it
Conflict is unavoidable and connected to a world where different ideas and opinions are challenged. Negative conflict occurs when voices are not expressed appropriately, discussions are not in control or different parties reject moving forward with a solution. There is difficulty resolving disagreements because there are multiple reactions to disputes. However, a positive conflict supports debates without a destructive outcome. They improve communication, introduce principles that are important to others, and reduce chaos. On the other hand, the approach that a person uses to address conflict dictates the outcome they receive. Methods for resolving conflict include avoiding the problem, smoothing out a situation, competing against the ideas
I think, if you can see that side, while someone is ranting it could help to point out the alternate side. I tend to do this a lot, and whenever I say another potential point of view, they seem taken aback and surprised. Usually they end up saying “yeah, I guess that’s true” and calming down a little bit. I also think that if I have a positive attitude about an assignment or task, it will make the assignment so much more bearable and could even be counted as fun!