The topic of divorce sparked my interest as it has become a common process among American people and keeps increasing since the past few decades. Divorce not only breaks up a family but also affects children negatively. Children in the stages of early childhood development are mainly vulnerable since they are in a stage where they learn and change rapidly. According to an online article entitled, “The Impact of Parental Divorce on Emerging Adults’ Self-Esteem,” it is stated that “More than one million young children under the age of eighteen experience parental divorce every year,” and the consequences of this affect children’s “psychological adjustment, behavior, social ability, self-esteem, and academic achievement” (Block). These impacts …show more content…
persist through adulthood and keep getting worse as children move into new stages of life. There are various factors that lead to marriage failure; some of them include loss of feelings for each other, a spouse having an affair with someone else, financial issues and other types of conflicts. Some try their best to make their marriage work, while some skip this step and end up with a divorce. Divorce is a little easier to handle when there is no child involved, however when the divorce takes place in presence of young children, it gives them long-term effects as they are too young to deal with such situations.
Since children are not mature enough to understand the real reason behind their parents’ divorce, they end up feeling abandoned and stressed. In John W. Santrock’s book, Children, chapter ten briefly discusses the effects of divorce on children and what problems it creates in children’s further stages. Santrock states that children whose parents are divorced show poorer adjustment, have academic problems [both externalized and internalized], have less competent imitate relationships, drop out from school, have low-self esteem and become socially active at an early age (Santrock, 308). Due to divorce, children are often unable to build up a close relationship with one of the parents which cause them to have low self-esteem. At young age, children are dependent on their parents and are closely connected to them, but once their parents are divorced, they get stuck in child custody conflicts. It can be traumatizing for a child to be put into a situation where one has to choose one parent over the other or live with one parent even if one does not want …show more content…
to. What if a custodial parent is psychologically or physically less available for a child due to high demands? What if a child does not want to live with the custodial parent, but he still has to? Divorce brings a huge change in children’s lives as they have to adjust back and forth between two households that are different, and it takes time for them to realize that their life has significantly changed from how it was before. An online article, entitled, “The Impact of Divorce on Young Children and Adolescents,” asserts that for young children, divorce agitates trust in dependency on parents making them behave in an extremely undependable way. It can also cause them separation anxieties such as, “crying at bed times, breaking toilet training, bed-wetting, clinging, whining, tantrums, and temporary loss of established self-care skills” (Pickhardt, 2011). All these anxieties require parental attention, but when children do not get their attention, it puts them in greater risks of depression and loneliness. Early childhood is a stage when children learn the basics that are important to form meaningful relationships, and discover how their world works. Due to divorce, if one or both parents become depressed or busy in the process, then it can make them less responsive to the children’s needs. This affects children particularly during infancy as it is when bonding and attachment is needed for healthy development. An online article by Leon, “Helping Infants and Toddlers Adjust to Divorce,” affirms that divorce is a confusing and stressful situation for infants and toddlers. Even though they do not understand it, they are affected by the changes in their parents’ behavior and feelings. For example, if one of the parent acts sad or worried around an infant, it makes an infant to feel sad and worried too. Moreover, Leon emphasizes that infants from ages six to eight may develop stranger anxiety when they see one parent less often than before. Beginning from eight months, infants show separation distress when one of the parents goes out of sight, and they scream, cry or cling. It is difficult for an eight to twelve months old infant to be separated from a parent for a long period of time as “they have much stronger feelings for the parents” (Leon, 2004). By the age of eighteen months, a toddler can now use language to express feelings and thoughts, and even if he is still learning to use language, he can ask where is his other parent or when is the other parent coming home. It can frustrate the parent as toddlers repeat their questions over and over. When they are not being able to be with a parent, toddlers may express their feelings by being fearful or aggressive while they play. It is common among toddlers to express their emotions like this, but they may get less secure and develop strong feelings of anger or sadness. Furthermore, divorce can cause emotional trauma in children. For instance, as a child tends to be egocentric, he may blame himself for the divorce, despite of the real cause, and might react with anxiety, aggression or anger. He may feel that it is his responsibility to bring his parents back together.
It may take him a while to understand that things are not going to be the same as they were before. On the other hand, a six-to-eight year child may fanaticize about reuniting his parents; it is less likely that he would blame himself for the divorce. However, he can experience strong grief over the loss of not having to live with both parents at the same house. It is not until age of nine to twelve, when a child is better understandable about his parents’ divorce. We can expect him to be consciously express his disapproval and take a side of one of the parents. In conclusion, the decision to get separated or end the marriage not only affects the parents, but also leaves profound negative effects on children’s development. Although some children may adjust well to their parents, most of the time it is not the case. Therefore, it is important for both parents to consider the effects of divorce on young child before making this huge decision. And if there is no chance of reconciling, then both parents must ensure their children that they still love them, and will be there for them no matter for. This would help children adjust well in the situation and make it easier for children to deal
with. Works Cited Block, S. (n.d.). The Impact of Parental Divorce on Emerging Adults’ Self-Esteem - Applied Psychology OPUS - NYU Steinhardt. The Impact of Parental Divorce on Emerging Adults’ Self-Esteem - Applied Psychology OPUS - NYU Steinhardt. Retrieved August 18, 2014, from http://steinhardt.nyu.edu/opus/issues/2013 Leon, K. (n.d.). Helping Infants and Toddlers Adjust to Divorce. GH6607. Retrieved August 18, 2014, from http://extension.missouri.edu/p/GH6607 Pickhardt, Carl. The Impact of Divorce on Young Children and Adolescents. Psychology Today: Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist. (n.d.). Retrieved August 18, 2014, from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201112/the- impact-divorce-young-children-and-adolescents Santrock, J. W. (2009). Child development (12th ed.). Madison, Wis.: McGraw Hill.
A significant portion of children in the United States are impacted by divorce. Empirical investigations verify that children of divorce are at a heightened risk for the development of psychological, social, behavioral and academic issues (Amato, 2000; Amato, 2001). Amato and Keith (1991) studied the welfare of children of divorce compared with that of children whose parents are still married to each other. Children from divorced families scored considerably lower on a range of outcomes and it was shown that these problems can persist into adulthood. Given the high rate of divorce and the negative effects it has on our youth, the implementation of effective prevention programs has great significance (Wolchik, West, Sandler, Tein, Coatsworth, & Lengua, 2000).
Marriage is one of those things most women and some men look forward to in life. This generation is different from the rest of the generations before, where you had to get married by a certain age and follow a standard of living. Nowadays everyone has the option of getting married or not. There is so much individuality, and liberty to do whatever we please without lives that we can marry the same sex. Even if a couple does marry and say their vows that should mean so much to them, they are getting divorced the next day. “Among adults who have been married, the study discovered that one-third (33%) have experienced at least one divorce. That means that among all Americans 18 years of age or older, whether they have been married or not, 25% have gone through a marital split (New Marriage).” “Around the world, people are marrying later and divorcing often (Sernau).” Now that this epidemic of marriage and divorce has taken place over the last few generations parenting suffers a great deal.
Divorce is becoming a worldwide phenomenon, significantly affecting children’s well-being. It radically changes their future causing detrimental effects. According to (Julio Cáceres-Delpiano and Eugenio Giolito, 2008) nearly 50% of marriages end with divorce. 90% of children who lived in the USA in the 1960s stayed with their own biological parents, whereas today it makes up only 40% (Hetherington, E. Mavis, and Margaret Stanley-Hagan, 1999). Such an unfavorable problem has been increasing, because in 1969, the legislation of California State changed the divorce laws, where spouses could leave without providing causes (Child Study Center, 2001). This resolution was accepted by the other states and later, the number of divorced people has been steadily growing. Such a typical situation is common for most countries in the world, which negatively affects children’s individuality. However, remarkably little amount of people can conceive the impact of marital separation caused to offspring. (? passive) Many children after separation of parents are exposed to a number of changes in the future. They have to be getting used to a further living area, feelings and circumstances. Their response to divorce can vary and depends on age, gender and personal characteristics. This essay will show the effects of divorce on children under various aspects such as educational, psychological and social impact. In addition, it will contain data about the divorce rate in the US and present disparate reactions of children. It will also include adequate recommendations for parents as to how act to children after divorce, in order to minimize the adverse effect on children.
Girgis, George, & Anderson (2011) define marriage as the union of a man and a woman who make a permanent and exclusive commitment to each other of the type that is naturally (inherently) fulfilled by bearing and rearing children together. These marriages are intended to last eternity and are partially accomplished by raising children together, yet four of every ten marriages lead to divorce and of these divorces, 35% involve children (Ambert, 2009). Children tend to blame themselves for the divorce and are usually caught in the crossfire. These divorces lead to both stress and depression for children and without a strong sense of family, children will have a huge disadvantage over children with a stable healthy family (Arreola, Hartounian, Kurges, Maultasch, & Retana, 2013). Without the ability to cope with the stress of a divorce, children can be effected in multiple ways including a change in mentality, unacceptable behavioural traits and both short and long term emotional factors that will ultimately lead to a critical issue in child development.
Many times when children have divorced parents, they suffer from growing up too rapidly. The children’s main care giver, whichever parent the child lives with, must assume more responsibility upon becoming a single parent. We know that one parent assuming more responsibility can lead to a bad relationship due to lack of time spent together, but it can also prevent the child from completely acting as a child. The cooking, cleaning, and child care now falls on one parent instead of two. This results in a child with divorced parents caring for themselves. If there is more than one child, the older child many times has to assume responsibility and care for the younger child. This results in the oldest child becoming a parent figure to the younger child or children. Maturing too rapidly can affect children in many different ways, and harbor many extreme consequences. One major consequence is rebelling. Many times children feel that the more responsibility that they possess, the less they have to obey their parents. This consequence is mainly shown as the child enters the adolescence period, but it starts in childhood. Another consequence is having nothing to look forward to when adulthood is reached. Children in this situation see a glimpse of what adulthood is like long before they should. They then do not have anything to look forward to as they enter adulthood. This can sometimes make a child fearful of adulthood. Divorce causes children to grow up too quickly; this in turn harbors consequences that are not temporary but permanent as they stay with the children for a
Parental divorce is experienced by over 1 million American children every year and the percentage of those who come from divorced families is at a constant rise (Fackrell, Poulsen, Busby, Dollahite, 2011). Children often experience the brunt of their parent’s conflict during divorce and internalize those feelings far into adulthood. When comparing children of divorce to those from intact families, it was found that it can negatively affect achievement level in school, behavior issues, emotional problems, self-esteem, and their future interpersonal relationships (Amato & Sobolewski, 2001; Cui & Fincham, 2010). In a study done in 2011 by Fackrell, Poulsen, Busby, and Dollahite; it was discovered that children of divorce also have been found
“Divorce introduces a massive change into the life of a boy or girl no matter what the age. Witnessing loss of love between parents, having parents break their marriage commitment, adjusting to going back and forth between two different households, and the daily absence of one parent while living with the other, all create a challenging new family circumstance in which to live. In the personal history of the boy or girl, parental divorce is a watershed event. Life that follows is significantly changed from how life was before.” ("The Impact of...) The effects on a child could be short term or long term depending on the child’s age, maturity, gender and psychological status. “Some effects of divorce emerge rapidly following separation and some of these increase over the first years following divorce and then decline; still other may emerge later.” (Espejo) Short term effects can include, bad behavior either at home or at school, depression, anger, low self-esteem or a decline in academics. “Various factors lead to negative effects on children. For example, children are almost inevitably burdened by greater responsibilities and feel less cared for. It is possible that when a marriage ends, especially if it ends in angry conflict, parents can experience a decline in their deep feelings for their children and the extent to which they voluntarily undertake responsibilities for the children.” ("The Impact of...).
It gives a child a new start away from the tension and stress of living in a house with constant marital conflict. However the damaging consequences of parental divorce on a child outweighs the positive outcomes. A child of divorce might emerge with aggressive behavioral problems, poor psychological well-being and most importantly maintain a negative parent-child relationships. Parental divorce also has a long-term effect that extends to adulthood and does not withdraw during time. Long-term effects might result from the absence of the father in the child’s life.
One major setback, I faced was growing up with my parents being divorced. I remember the first time it happened at six years of age. I was too young to truly understand what was even happening. All I truly remember was my mother and father sitting my sister and I down at the table. They then proceeded to tell us that our father would be staying at a hotel for a while, marking the last time they would be together.
I was raised with divorced parents. My parents separated when I was at a very young age, around four years old, so I do not recall a time where we were all one big happy family. When my parents first separated my dad only moved to the basement of our house. Then once it was finalized, he moved into a different home. I would primarily stay with my mom, and visit my dad every other weekend.
It is truly unfortunate that some children elect the dangerous path and carry out lousy decisions in life, on the other hand children of divorce may not act out. Therefore they manage their emotions in a positive way to cope with divorce such as school work, extra-curricular
As a child one of the biggest worries in life was whether we should jump on the trampoline or play on the swings next, but for some children whose parents are going through divorce life is far from that. Divorce is the legal process of dissolving one’s marriage with someone. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (2013), “One out of every two marriages today ends in divorce and many divorcing families include children”. The instant changes are hard to cope with for two adults, putting children through this can have a much more serious effect on them. The changes can leave the child dealing with psychological and behavioural problems, add an abundance of stress for them, and the effects can scar into adulthood.
Many times it is surprising how life presents learning experiences, but in most cases we cannot identify them until the worst has passed. Life may take unexpected turns at any given moment, especially in our society of fast paced living. For us, Millenials, growing up with divorced parents was nothing from the other world; still, it was no easy burden. Family problems can shift into personal problems that can have a big impact on someone’s life. Adapting to change is hard, even harder under certain circumstances, but it is not impossible.
In the world we live in today, divorce has unfortunately become a normal thing in our lives. Many married couples are getting divorced for many reasons; problems in the marriage, either a spouse having an affair, a loss of feelings, and many other types of complications. Many divorces involve children who are young and due to their age do not understand what is really going on. We all know someone who has dealt with divorce. Children are the ones who are typically affected the most by the divorce and they will have to learn to cope with their parent’s divorce at such a young age, affecting them in positive or negative ways.
The rate of parental separation and divorce has shockingly increased since mid-20th Century; in fact, said by Dr. D’Onofrio the rate has doubled more in westernized cultures (D’Onofrio, 2011). An increase in divorce and separation amongst parents has played with the impact on children’s psychological development. Parental separations and divorce takes a toll on children and can be very emotionally painful for them.