Relationships can be discussed in all aspect of life. Including communities, families, marriage, conflicts, and divorce. The gift of any relationship is the gifts from the spirits. The author uses her African teachings, in comparison to how Americans handle different relationships. In the book, “The Spirit of Intimacy,” Sobonfu Some’s gives wisdom insightful experience of her marriage and about the Dagara people of West African beliefs and traditions when facing conflicts in leading to divorcement.
Some’s definition of Marriage is when two souls coming into one soul –still distinct but forming one entity. Being raised in the church, marriage is when two people come together, declaring their wedding vows to each other and to God. Marriage is
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Some states that divorce is a foreign concept in the village. A person who uses freedom of choice often makes terrible decisions. People in the west will break up rather than deal with certain problems. Divorce never suddenly happens, it occurs as problems build up over time and then the unexpected happens. Not only do a divorce affect the parent’s relationship but the family also. Children being raised in homes without both parents can result to resentment towards their parents. Which could lead to the child’s adult years of not knowing how to remain in a relationship, communicate effectively or he might bring the pain and sorrow he once felt towards his parent, into his existing relationship. When bothered by a specific situation, people should not vanish from a problem nor should one not say something. They should deal with the problem when it’s occurring, rather than waiting to address it later. According to Some, if something doesn’t work, change it. A situation stinks, go somewhere else. Unresolved problems do not just disappear because we walk away. They will show up under a different face in our next relationship. In today society, a marriage doesn’t last as long compared to marriages in the past. Marriages are supposed to help us learn how to love unconditionally as though god loves us. If God won’t abandon you, why should you abandon your spouse? You should invariably stay in one accord, and if you feel …show more content…
The husband’s family will always go ask for the wife hand again and invite her to come back to their compound. She has the choice of returning or not. Only then, at the completion of these separation rituals, is she free to remarry. As a wife, it’s not right for her to refuse to acknowledge her family, whom she was once married into. She shouldn’t have a choice to come back into the compound she never left from. Marriage not only connects the husband and wife, but the families also. No matter how long you’ve been married for, you created memories with everyone around you that will late forever. One example of this is, my cousin Jeffery. Who married his high school sweetheart their senior year in college. Soon after, her family moved away, so my family took her as their own. But five years year into their marriage, my cousin passed away due to sickle cell anemia. This happen almost 20 years ago and till this day, she still comes around for the holidays, family gatherings or even when she’s visiting from out of state. It’s been tradition to say, once you married into a family, you will always be apart of the family. Even if she decides to remarry one day, as a family, we still love her and accept her wishes. I’m in disagreement with what Some had to say when family should have to ask for her hand, due to tragic happening. Same with getting a divorce, just because the married couple had a disagreement between one another,
Some families go through divorce, like the protagonist's’ mother and father did in the short story. The protagonist’s mother had threatened her husband that she would “pour kerosene over her body and set fire to herself if [the protagonist’s] father [didn’t] divorce her”. The narrator’s father had agreed to divorce his wife, because he was afraid that the mother would follow
we look at marriage as something that is based on two people falling in love, which includes
First off lets talk about the definition of marriage. Marriage can be defined many ways but they way we are “suppose” to follow doesn’t quiet fit what it is intended to do. What we are expected to believe about marriage is how it is between only a man and a woman. According to the Merriam Webster dictionary marriage is an intimate or close union between same sex or opposite sex couples (“marriage”). This means it’s a union
Different societies and time periods have different values and believes and in marriage is a Private Affair a story set in Lagos, Nigeria this is especially the case. Chinua Achebe’s writes about the culture of arranged marriages and the modern arguments agent this tradition trough a father son debate (Okeke and Nnaemeka). Achebe depicts this Conflict between father and son though the use of symbolism in.
... we must find a way to stop the pain! We must accept that there is a natural order of things in this universe, marriage and the family is one of them. When we upset the order, the end result can make the difference in future generations.
The world knows that marriage is a mutual commitment between two adults that will evolve into a group to live as one. Unfortunately conflicts in marriage are not uncommon infidelity, children, and money are the causes of divorce, lack of interest is is also another reason. Couples of all ages, religion, race and gender often drift apart and that is the reality of marriage. The courts actions can make a relationship turn ugly, often using the children as puppets to gain the support of the
Years ago people got married to start a family and to raise kids, That was just what you did. In today's world people think more about themselves, and live with a much more individualistic mindset. Nowadays people get married for love. They get married to their parent because they want their partner to make them happy. Well as we have found out marriages can be tough at times and they are not always easy. Couples usually get divorced because they are no longer happy. They are thinking about their own happiness and once that person doesn’t bring them any happiness most couples are done with the relationship. This is a way of thinking in society that has changed the divorce
What is marriage? According to Webster’s Dictionary a marriage is “the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law.” It can also be stated for those of the same sex, but for the purpose of this paper it will be examined from a heterosexual standpoint.
A husband and wife do not appear to be a choice that means ?forever? anymore. When a person plans to marry, it should be when they are ready to start a family and begin acting responsibly. All marriages have their ups and downs, and we are prone to argue; but we need to let love conquer hate, not the other way around. The divorce rate is too high and it affects everybody. There should be no reason for a person to give up their marriage for selfish reasons. Arguments between husband and wife occur, of course; but when something is wrong, it should be worked-out peacefully. The meaning of a divorce is betrayal; it?s unfair and the cruelest situation to put your ?loved? one through. For instance, if a man wants to divorce his wife aft...
This assignment is meant to be a self-reflection on cross-cultural intimacy and relationships, Uncertainty Reduction Theory (URT) and how it relates to relational intimacy across cultures. I also evaluate my self-assessments of my sociocommunicative orientation/style, and my factors and preferences in choosing my mate and how these relate in intercultural context.
“Just because divorce is caused by unhappiness, that doesn’t men that divorce should be an unhappy event,” (Sumitta, 2009). Buddhist encourage that divorce should be recommended if the marriage is causing pain and suffering between the husband and wife. The Buddha encourages old men not to have a relationship with young women because it is incompatible between them and causes disharmony. If a married couple divorces, the Buddha’s following and rule must be more strictly applied. Buddhist believe that if a marriage is inadequate then the husband and wife are free to divorce without any rituals or consequences. Marriage is a vital role in Buddhism because it gives support and protection and it must come from true loyalty. In a marriage, Buddhist believe that giving strength and moral courage in a relationship will help each other and develop a stronger bond. Married couples can not think of either a man or woman being superior in the relationship because it can lead to many dominant issues. The Buddhist believe to prevent a divorce the relationship must consist of equality, exuding gentleness, self-control, respect, generosity, calm, and dedication. “All I teach is suffering and the end of suffering,” [Siddhartha Gautama] (Sumitta, 2009). The Buddha, Siddhartha Gautama, states that he teaches the end of suffering. The encouragement of divorce is allowed because marriage is
Unfortunately, marriage within the twenty first century is not something that has been promised to be forever. Therefore, a divorce between married couples seem to be growing at a faster rate than ever before. Divorce comes with not only the financial burden, but the emotional trauma. According to Brienna Perelli-Harris, “...divorce is expensive and complex and in many cases associated with anger, stress and bureaucratic obstacles.” With this idea of divorce, cohabitation is shown in a brighter light. Cohabiting couples, if separated, can do so with greater freedom. With greater freedom, seperation becomes something that is “easier to dissolve for any reason” (Perelli-Harris). Often, those in a marriage cannot leave each other too easily because of society’s common ideals of what a marriage should be; a union meant to be forever. Therefore, cohabitation is on the rise due to the stress free ending it would allow for each partner to
Divorce is one of the most traumatizing ordeals a family can experience. Not so long ago in the past the term "Divorce" was a shameful and taboo word. Individuals even withstood and bore the anguish of strained relations to keep away from divorce. This is not the case any longer. Everywhere the world over, divorce among couples is becoming a common phenomenon. Numerous studies and research have attempted to deliberate on this social occurrence. The greater part of these studies attempted to concentrate on the commonplace causes for divorce. Increase in the instances of divorce has influenced the structure of eastern societies after western ...
I believe a couple doesn’t want to see their marriage down the drain; yet, sometimes, they think that divorce is their only outlet. Actually, “divorce may provide relief from the strain of a loveless or abusive relationship” (Divorce, par. 1). When you meet the girl of your life or the man of your dreams, and you fall in love with them, you probably feel like you’re a prince or a princess in a fairytale love story. One of the unfavorable habits of today’s couples is that from the moment they met their significant other, they become obsessed (and possessive, to some extent) with each other. S/he will do anything not to lose his/her lover – even getting married, without knowing what they’re going to get themselves into. When couples are in a hurry to get...
From the past to present, people all over the world have determined to live together, which is called “get marriage” in another word, so that they depend on for living each other. Nevertheless, some couples are unable to maintain their relationship; therefore they choose divorce, which is one of the solutions to cope with problems between husband and wife. Furthermore, most people think carefully before they get marriage. However, the divorce rates trend to continually increase nowadays, thus it might be argued that divorces can be taken place easier than the past. There are three main causes of divorce: changing woman’s roles, stress in modern living and lack of communication, which are highlighted below.