Summary Of The Ways We Lie

How Many Times Have You Lied Today?

Introduction

In The Ways We Lie, Stephanie Ericsson expresses the inevitability of lying and the way it is casually incorporated into our everyday lives. She personally brings light to all the forms of lying and some that are often not recognized as a lie. Ericsson questions the reasons and validity behind lies by highlighting the effects and consequences.

Exemplification

Ericsson clearly defines each type of lie with relatable anecdotes. She narrates each scenario of a lie, creating a personal connection. She starts by recounting the lies she has felt necessary within a day. Without these lies her “partner keels over when I tell him about my travails, my client fires me for telling her I didn’t feel like being on time, and my friend takes it personal when I say I’m not hungry.” She establishes the causes and effects of lying revealing the

positive aspects. She explains how easy it can be to lie as she reveals that she has told “four lies in the course of a day.” In the beginning, she is able to easily justify each lie such as “the sergeant in Vietnam who knew one of his men was killed in action but listed him as missing that the man’s family would receive indefinite compensation.” Although this lie seems logically and even “honorable”, “for twenty years this family kept their hopes alive.” Both sides must be taken into consideration and “we must consider the meaning of our actions.” She reveals she “felt the least guilty about” the lies she told in the course of her day. However, with every new lie, it becomes more difficult to find a reasonable justification due to the severity of the lie.

Classification
In paragraphs 8 through 24, lies are sorted into groups to describe different situations. Each lie is relatable and one everyone has told. (Ex. “The White Lie”, “Facades”, “Ignoring the Plain Facts”, “Deflecting”, “Omission”, “Stereotypes and Cliches”, “Groupthink”, “Out-of-Out Lies”, “Dismissal”, and “Delusion”) She begins with simple types of lies and further down the list, the lies start to become more consequential, but also less realized as a lie. At the start of every lie, Ericsson places an epigraph. Each epigraph contributes to the development of the main idea. The epigraph for Omission, “the cruelest lies are often told in silence,” is the most effective as it conveys the message Ericsson is trying to spread; we lie without even realizing sometimes because we are so accustomed to it. We never really think twice before telling a white lie like “telling a friend he looks great when he looks like hell” because we see them to be nonimportant and believe the one being lied to could benefit.
Tone
Ericsson reassures that lying is something that is hard to avoid.

She admits her struggles with lying as she once attempted to go a week without lying and described it to be “paralyzing.” She also explains how lies can sometimes have positive outcomes such as when the bank calls for her deposit. Without her lie the bank would have charged her $60 in over drafting fees. Ericsson attempts to justify her lies explaining that “there must be some merit to lying.” She makes a personal connection though the lies she tells on a daily basis. Her tone is colloquial yet informational, utilizing terms such as “we.” She explains that “We lie. We all do.” She points out the obvious reasons we lie and the effortless ways we can lie, “we exaggerate, we minimize, we avoid confrontation, we spare people’s feeling, we conveniently forget.” She asks questions, “how much do we tolerate before we become sick and tired of being sick and tired?” to create a conversational tone. In paragraphs 35 through 37, her tone shift from accepting to cynical as she begins to question the limits of lying and their

validities.
Conclusion
Ericsson concludes that there is significance to every lie, big or small. Therefore “when someone lies, someone loses.” We cannot “entirely eliminate lies from our lives.” However, we should do our best to minimize them to the bare necessities. Without lies, the world would be brutal, but we must remember to emphasize the difference between “telling functional lies” and “living a lie.” The more we lie, the more we become accustomed to it as “our acceptance to lies becomes a cultural cancer.” An increase in lying will only cause a habituation to lies “until moral garbage becomes as invisible to us as water to a fish.” Ericsson’s conversational tone allows the topic of lying to be less judgmental and more informational to remind us to consider the consequences before telling another lie.