Colorado State University researchers statistics show that "Domestic violence in relationships are ninety-five percent caused by males, while only a five percentage for women". Violence is a masculine occurrence, that typically happens by men who want to overpower their women . Domestic violence may happen when a partner feels the need to control and dominate the other. Masculinity results in high self-esteem, jealousy and other strong emotions in a relationship. Although, this can cause women to face the repercussions of restoring this mentality. In the poem “Shrinking Women” by Lily Myers, she expresses the negative consequences of self-doubt and shame on the woman's body. Myers’ mother is caught on a discouraging path of self-hatred …show more content…
caused by her marriage. The role of Lily Myers’ mother is to influence the power of her love ones around her through her voice. Her ability to shrink herself will either fulfill her duties as a wife or provide negative consequences for her role of a mother.
Hence, a man's masculinity predominantly is represented by the way a woman function in a relationship. In “Shrinking Women” by Lily Myers, shrinking is used as a symbol to influence the character's masculinity or femininity within their roles. For instance, Lily Myers’ mother shrinking represents the negative belittling of her body image as a woman. While continuously reinstate her husband's power as a man. Throughout the poem, the concept of a perfect woman is established as skinny, beautiful, hardworking and timid. To fulfill these characteristics she not only has to shrink her actual body size, but her voice within her marriage must be condensed to accommodate for her husband. Within playing this role, she loses sight of her health and independent thoughts to complete her husband. In particular, “Across from me at the kitchen table, my mother smiles over red wine that she drinks out of a measuring glass. She says she doesn't deprive herself, but I've learned to find nuance in every movement of her fork.In every crinkle in her brow as she offers me the uneaten pieces on her plate. I've realized she only eats dinner when I suggest it” (Myers 00:00:27). The mother is putting a limitation of health that can be quite self-destructive …show more content…
but pretends to fake she is okay to not worry her children. The measuring glass is one of the ways in which she can control what she intakes and measure her success within her marriage. As women, we can be in denial about how negative and harmful a situation might be to our bodies. However, we let our bodies take tolls in order to live up to certain standards of beauty. For example, “Women must choose between attractive shoes and comfortable shoes. When our group made an unexpected trek, The woman who wore flats, lace shoes arrived first. Last to arrive was the woman in spiky heels, shoes in hand and a handful of men around her” ( Tannen 412). This displays the concept ‘that pain is beauty’ and to be noticed we must face some painful or uncomfortable treatments to be beautiful. Hence, the more pain and preparation that goes into our appearance will keep us from being overlooked by man. Some may say that women inflict these treatments onto themselves to feel more self-confident. Although, Lily Myer’s mother self- perception of herself didn’t alternative her confident but her expectations for herself. Her expectations are to complete her role as a dutiful wife to keep him happy, feed and powerful. Therefore, Lily Myers’ mother role is to instill strength and power into her husband’s masculinity by being a shrinking woman. Others might say that when we make vows on our wedding days as husband and wife we make the promise to complete certain duties. For the sake of the marriage, Lily Myers’ mother must be obedient within her role as a wife to reshape herself. Which in some ways shrinks her pre-existent identity and adopts her husband’s identity as her own. In Particular, “ if a woman takes her husband's name, she announces to the world that she is married and has traditional values. To some it will indicate that she is less herself, more identified by her husband's identity” ( Tannen 412). In other words, taking your husband's last name presents your values to the marriage and makes you truly a part of him . In older times, traditionally taking the name entails that you service your husband's image giving him claim on your actions and identity to represent him. However, the more her mother completes his needs in his image the less she becomes herself. For example, “Maybe this is why my house feels bigger each time I return; it's proportional. As she shrinks the space around her seems increasingly vast. She wanes while my father waxes”( Myers 00:00:55) . The return of Myers allows her to become whole again, for the time she must fake the troublesome reality of her marriage. That the more her mother continues to lessen in size and spirit her husband gets fatter and has the power to look as he pleases. This metaphor of the wane and waxes represent shrinking in terms of the moon cycles referring to her parents. Waxing is when the moon is at it’s strength and continues to grow and increase in size. While Waning refers to the moon as becoming new which shows the moon decreasing in strength. Her becoming new within her marriage is the painful reality that her vows to her husband means she must give up her strength and identity. The role of her mother to her husband is to make her man feel superior next to her. Thus, the role of her mother is to increase her husband’s masculinity by strengthening his identity. The concept of the reproduction of mothering makes reference to mother-daughter relationships and female psychology.
The concept meaning that mothers are supposed to flower her daughters to be replicas of everything their mothers taught them to be . Creating an understanding of the urge for motherhood, and brainwashing certain traits in women and the pattern of male dominance. The role of Lily Myers’ mother is to pressure her children into the same path she was led on. For instance, “It was the same with his parents; as my grandmother became frail and angular her husband swelled to red round cheeks, round stomach,and I wonder if my lineage is one of women shrinking” (Myers 00:01:09).The word choice used within this piece of the poem such as “frail” and “round” shapes this generational curse. Hiis mother becomes weak while her husband becomes fatter. Their marriage has been pre-conceived to be harmful to these women because their thoughts and actions have been taught generation after generation. In this case, “Fasold and his discussion on these matters by pointing out that language is reflected biology, grammar books would direct us to use she males and females and he only for specifically men referents. But they don't. They tell us that he means he or she and that she is used only if the referent is specifically female ( Tannen 414).” This address language has “marked” in our perception of what we teach is the proper way to address men and women whether or not it is
actually correct. Language has created the separation between men and women, teaching us what is truly the acceptable way to speak and action. Similarly to, the way in which these shrinking woman have been to taught to successful act out the roles as mothers. In particular, “Jonas you have been taught to grow out, I have been taught to grow in. You learned from my father how to how to reproduce to roll each thought off your tongue with confidence use to lose your voice every other week from shouting so much. I learned to absorb. I took lessons from my mother in creating space around myself” (Myers 00:01:59). They become replicates of their parents' habits because they share so much time watching, learning and copying their actions that are taught to be right .The role of a mother is to teach her children right and wrong by essentially becoming their parents. As a result, Lily Myers’ mother role allows her to unintentionally manipulate her own children’s ability to be themselves in a society filled with expectations for our genders. The most important role in parenting is to teach our children to be the best they can be. By constantly shrinking herself within her shattered marriage she makes it harder to fulfill her duties as a mother. The path of a shrinking woman has influenced her to manipulate her children’s habits negatively. Making Jonas, her son, the only one able to speak his mind and grow out like his father. Meanwhile, Lily, her daughter, has to keep her feelings and opinions to herself like her mother. Giving her children predetermined identities in society that are a chain reaction in their family for years. Lily Myers will as a consequence go into the world shrinking herself and might even teach her children the same one day . Likewise, “ inheritance is accidental,still staring at me with wine-soaked lips from across the kitchen table” (Myers 00:03:09). In other words, the traits we receive are are unintentional and we don’t choose to receive these things. From this experience, Myers will have to create her own sense of what femininity entails based on what she was taught.While simultaneously, avoiding the undeniable expectations created by the masculinity of man within her life. Furthermore, the role of shrinking mother will either fulfill her duties as a wife or provide negative consequences as her role of a mother.
Therefore, this definitely adheres to the idea of masculinity being based on dominance, self-assuredness, as well as autonomy. Deborah Tannen’s theory of difference states
“I have the rages that small animals have, being small, being animal.” is a very clear example of frustration. When the reader reads this line they can make the connection that the writer is trying to say that women are frustrated just like a t-rex that is trying to pick something off a tree with its arms but can’t reach because they are too short. “At your service” is another line that is an example of sarcasm toward the way the author feels toward the tasks she is meant to do. Lastly, “like a book of paper matches” is symbolically portraying that the women are easy to anger and are very fed up with the daily roles they were assigned to when committing to having a family. Jiles uses these tones to make sure the readers understand how the idea of gender roles can and did effect her life as a young women growing up. With that being said, this situation can be tied into the social acceptation of women and how women must fit an accustomed
In Karen Horney's "The Distrust Between the Sexes," she attempts to explain the problems in the relationships between men and women. She writes that to understand the problem you must first understand that problems stem from a common background. A large amount of suspiciousness is due to people's intensity of emotions.
During the Victorian Era, society had idealized expectations that all members of their culture were supposedly striving to accomplish. These conditions were partially a result of the development of middle class practices during the “industrial revolution… [which moved] men outside the home… [into] the harsh business and industrial world, [while] women were left in the relatively unvarying and sheltered environments of their homes” (Brannon 161). This division of genders created the ‘Doctrine of Two Spheres’ where men were active in the public Sphere of Influence, and women were limited to the domestic private Sphere of Influence. Both genders endured considerable pressure to conform to the idealized status of becoming either a masculine ‘English Gentleman’ or a feminine ‘True Woman’. The characteristics required women to be “passive, dependent, pure, refined, and delicate; [while] men were active, independent, coarse …strong [and intelligent]” (Brannon 162). Many children's novels utilized these gendere...
Masculinity and femininity are not restricted to two separate and distinct groups. In reality, they are different within themselves, and similar to each other. It is a well-known stereotype that men are tough and strong with no emotions, while women are weak and need to be supported.
Throughout the world, there are rudimentary gender characteristics, both physical and psychological, that differentiate a man from a woman. However, some people do not associate themselves with these stereotypical characteristics. Notwithstanding the amount of progress achieved in the past few decades, gender stereotypes are still solemn. Qualities like strength, intellect and sexual deviance are usually associated with men, while qualities like irrational, emotional and insecure are more relevant to women. In Sylvia Plath’s “Daddy” and Dorothy Livesay’s “The Unquiet Bed”, each poet captures the expression of female
...ight. The centuries that have elapsed between the two poems indicate that the power of women has increased in direct proportion to the later centuries. Though both these women have power, and each one of them practices it in her own right in accordance to the time period that each inhabits, the perception of their power is nowhere near that of their husbands. Where does that leave these women in their own societies? Though it may seem that both Wealhtheow and the Lady are in their husbands shadow, both considerably contribute to the control of the society in which they are part of the ruling class.
Men are allegedly competitive, aggressive, dominant, and strong and if these attributes are not acquired a man is not a man. When other men recognize a man failing in those four areas of “manliness” they compare him to a female with negative connotation as expressed in the following quote, “The worst insult one man can hurl at another-whether its boys on the playground or CEOs in the boardroom-is the accusation that a man is like a woman.” These actions create perceptions that women are unworthy and pitiful. Jensen mentions that because of masculinity men are thought to seek control over women resulting in an increase of physical violence towards women. However, masculinity has harsh effects on men as well. Men are constantly trying to prove their dominance to each other, while competing against one another for ultimate dominance. This creates a never ending cycle of competition and unease for
The poem starts with the line, “This girlchild was born as usual,” which suggests that as soon as a girl is born, society already expects her to learn the role she will soon play in when she hits puberty (1). Thus, showing why we are given dolls as little girls to illustrate how we should act and appear according to society. After we learn all the roles we will soon take part in, “the magic of puberty,” hits and girls immediately begin applying the ideals to their own lives (5). As if this attempt to conform is not enough we have other people telling us we are not to perfect. “You have a great big nose and fat legs,” says a classmate to the girl (6). This type of pressure can slowly but surely destroy even the little confidence women do have in themselves.
Masculinity is always associated with power and control, while femininity is associated with passivity and weakness. As Allan Johnson states, this is related to the fact that “male dominance creates power differences between men and women” (248). So because of the fact that men hold positions of power, they seem more superior to women, creating these stereotypes about each gender. The reason this is important is because when there is an idea of someone being better and people believe it, then it actually happens.... ...
In the beginning, the “girlchild” being discussed is described as “healthy, tested intelligent,/ possessed strong arms and back,/ abundant sexual drive and manual dexterity.” (lines 7-9) Yet throughout the poem, all that is pointed out is her fat nose and thick legs. As the poem progresses, she is told how to improve her flaws, through diet, exercise and acting dumb. By the end the girl commits suicide after exhausting her efforts to conform to society. The final lines show the people attending her funeral discussing how pretty she looks, emphasizing the idea that she finally achieved her “happy ending”. The poem as a whole demonstrates a type of satire called Juvenalian satire, which is a formal version in which the speaker (or writer) attacks the vices and error of society with contempt and indignation. Through Ms. Piercy’s use of description and words choice that implies contempt and sarcasm, the reader is able to identify how society’s standards for women’s looks greatly overshadow other talents and abilities they may have. It is demonstrated that if one is not skinny, and petite with perfect hair and a “turned up...nose” (line 21) then other traits such as intelligence, kindness, and strength are not worth
These two clusters of attributes are most commonly seen as mirror images of one another with masculinity usually characterized by dominance and aggression, and femininity by passivity and s...
In many stories that one reads, characters exhibit numerous behaviors throughout the story such as excitement, sadness, and loneliness. A fairytale will have happy character behaviors and end happily, whereas depressed characters the story may end melancholy, which can affect the outcome of the story. In the short story “A Sorrowful Women” written by Gail Godwin, the main character that is unnamed exhibits several behaviors. Such as a mental illness, behaviors of not wanting a family anymore, and the women shows behaviors that she’s not happy with the performance of a mother and wife. For she’d shows these behaviors at the end of the story the sorrowful women
The story shows that one can make significant progress in life as a result of choice or circumstances, and the clearly opposite side of social-class that are high and low class level. Maggie is truly the low class who is always feel inferiority complex because she doesn’t have education: “I never had an education myself…She knows she is not bright” (472), and nice body as Dee because of home fire “Maggie will be nervous…homely and ashamed of the burn scars down her arms and legs” (470). From the other point of view, Dee is totally different. She has the education: “her education from high school” (472). The mother was the sole breadwinner hence, she plays the role of a man as well as a woman. In fact, she views her physical characteristics equating herself to a man, “big-boned woman with rough, man-working hands” (470). Maggie is a character that is put down by circumstances and physical appearance; this is a typical representation of the struggles of the African Americans: “I am a large…I can kill and clean a hog as mercilessly as a man…I can work outside all day” (470), The way Maggie’s walking is kind of “a lame animal” (471). Most women were not able to rise due to the unfavorable environment. As for Dee, her views were more accepted outside the boundaries of her
The differences between women and men are not solely biological. Our society’s culture has established a set of unwritten cultural laws of how each gender should act, or in other words society has ascribed a stereotype. Men’s gender identity has been one of masculinity, and masculinity is defined as referring to a man or things described as manly. What does manly mean though? Is a male manly if he is “Mr. Fix-it”, or the jock, or if he sits on the couch on Sunday watching football? This latter statement is a stereotype of men, that has been around for decades, and is current as well, but starting with the 1960’s a man’s role started to change, despite the stereotype not changing to accommodate it. For the past 40 years one can see how men have taken on roles stereotypically ascribed to women, such roles including being the “stay-at-home mom”, which we can find an excellent example of in the 1980’s film “Mr.