Strengths Of The Essay: The Impact Of Emotional Abuse

Strengths of the essay:

It’s good that they identified specific effects. For example:

Some of the effects included drug and alcohol use, the feeling of worthlessness, isolation, depression, sleepiness, and suicidal thoughts long after the abuse ended.

The specific effects can help the readers to understand the impact of emotional abuse.

At the moment, the body paragraph focuses mostly on the effects after the abuse. For example:

Numerous victims reported still having persisting effects long after their abuser was gone… For many victims, their awareness of what they had gone through was evident.

it seems that they are supposed to discuss the severity of the abuse both during and after the experience. In that case, it will be better if they also discuss what happens while the abuse is going on. For example, what impact might emotional abuse have on the victim’s self-esteem when the abuse initially starts? What will happen to the victim’s self-esteem as the abuse continues? They could explain that, and they can also consider what can happen to the victim’s relationships, independence, health, etc. as the abuse is ongoing. Discuss the severity that emotional abuse has on victims during the experience.

They don’t have an appropriate thesis statement in the introduction yet. Here’s what they wrote at the end of the

introduction, where the thesis is usually placed:
The use of symbolic acts like verbal threats, humiliation, infidelity, and withdrawal of resources is the underlying factor for this type of abuse.

From that, the readers may get the impression that they will discuss those factors in the body of the essay, which is not the case.

They could keep the above as background information, but they can also add a thesis that presents the central message of the essay so that the readers are better prepared for the body paragraphs. What are the key points that was made about emotional abuse and the victims in the body of the paper? Given those key points, what then is the overall message about the severity of the impact that that emotional abuse has on victims during and after the experience? The thesis can address those questions. For

example:
Increasing tourism greatly impact Weird Island’s environment since the additional infrastructures, people, and pollution cause a lot of damage.
The impact of increasing tourism and the damage to additional infrastructures, people, and pollution will then be discussed in the body of the paper. Write a thesis that addresses the impact of emotional abuse.

Summary of Next Steps:
They could strengthen the paper by doing the following:
● Discuss the impact of emotional abuse during the experience.
● Write a thesis statement.
● Fix sentence fragments.
● Proofread carefully.