Stereotyping stepmother: myths and portrayals
Debadyuti Karmakar
Assistant Professor in Sociology
Prasanta Chandra Mahalanobis Mahavidyalaya Reconstituted families are one of the significant phenomena incase of family and relationships. It is ‘significant ‘ because not only it affects all the members of the family involved , but also the values/attitudes attached in such relationships are in many ways different from what we understand as ‘normal families’. ‘Step parenting’ is not seen in the same light with that of normal parenting; and the notion itself is burdened with pejorative pre-assumed values .Hence, the paper attempts to elucidate on such stereotypical conventions surrounding step mother and some reflections on actual
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Lately, this definition has been enlarged to incorporate acknowledgement of the partner of the child, including children out of adoption, cohabitation or partners belonging to same sex relationships. However, given the diversities of the notion of stepmother, the cultural stereotypes are more or less uniformly experienced by stepmothers in general. Affection of biological mother is always somewhat more integral and intimate towards her children as against stepmother, who is comparatively more distant and cold. Taking fairy tales as a clue, Psychoanalytic theory following Sigmund Freud saw stepmother reflecting latent content of wish fulfillment and repressed sexual desires. Freud’s stepmother concept was related to oedipal conflict. Carl Jung, on the other hand espoused wicked stepmother as representing destroying mother. Bruno Bettleheim viewed stepmother depression arising from psychic splitting. Feminist theory saw stepmother constructs as reinforcing status quo of the …show more content…
“When it comes to sexual matters, mothers are often portrayed as morally superior to fathers and to other women---- a misrepresentation that makes it easier for many children to believe that their stepmother or their father is the “bad guy” or the guilty party when it comes to sexual betrayal and promiscuity”.(cited in Nielsen 2004:p.116). Stepmothers may find it easier to get close to her stepchildren in cases whereby the mother has been working outside as such children tend to be more self-reliant, socially mature, and less overly dependent on their mother. Mothers’ style of parenting also has imprints on stepmothers’ way of experience. Many commentators have observed that children of unmarried mothers tend to be less socially mature, less self-reliant, less self-disciplined, less psychologically well adjusted than children living with married parents.” A stepmother also faces troubles as when have not created orderly well managed home with clearly established, dependable routines and schedules”. Level of educational attainment is also a significant marker of attitudes toward stepmother as it is observed mothers with higher educational attainment are possessive and hostile about mothering. Even after divorce, a well educated mother is resentful because she is now forced to work outside in order to maintain standard of
Now, the number of ex-stepfamilies is increase so fast. Gootman (2012) focuses on those families or blended families who have gone through a divorce. She had done several interviews with people who stay in stepfamily to find out the answer for question “How do they deal with ex-stepfamilies?” The interview results shows that most people do not keep closed relationship with their ex-stepfamily member. Another survey result by the Pew Research Center shows that the second marriages have higher divorce rate than the first marriage (Ch 13, P415). Some of them broken their new relationship because their partner’s ex-steps. In the college students opinion, some of them never thinking let their stepparent be part of family; some of them considered let their stepparents to be...
Whether it is a loss of a parent, a divorce, or the change of having a new authoritative figure as a stepparent, children need the support from their genetic parent. “The bird-the departed mother’s spirit, always near- brings Cinderella everything but her father’s loving eye. He seems to be oblivious to the abuse she suffers at her sister’s hands” (Schectman 296). Another way blindness is evident in both the articles is the fact that stepparents are willing to do this to a child. In The Truth about Cinderella, Daly and Margo say that a theory for the abuse demonstrated by a stepparent is a pseudo-parental obligation, yet how can a human physically feel the need to harm anyone, especially a child like
They have no power to choose for themselves and are considered to have a lack of ability to be independant, forcing the need to rely on men in their lives like fathers, husbands, brothers, and sons. As a representing character, Stepmother did not control her life. Bandits killed most of her family when she was young, but she survived by hiding between two trunks of clothes. Then she was taken away from a Mission House and “reclaimed by the village clan, eventually being sold to her Father’s Canton merchant family” (Choy 6). So clearly, Stepmother has no right to choose for herself like an individual; she is just an article that belongs to others and a good that can be sold. In addition, in this family, Stepmother has a very low position even though she gave birth to two kids. Stepmother is Jook Liang and Sek Lung’s birth mother, but she can only be called “Stepmother”. Third Uncle explained, “Stepmother” was a ranking much more respectable than a “family servant,” more honourable than “concubine,” but never equal in honour or respect to the title of First Wife or Mother, Stepmother remained silent (Choy 147). This illustrates Old Chinese Seniority Rules; no matter what a female dedicates to the family, if she is not the first wife, she will never get the respect that she deserves to have. Normally, in Old China, women cannot get fair treatments. They must follow the rules without any doubt, even if they are unequal. Also, Stepmother
There is much debate on what constitutes as a family today. However, Ball (2002) states, “The concept of the traditional family…is not an immutable one. It is a social construct that varies from culture to culture and, over time, the definition changes within a culture” (pp. 68). There is a growing diversity of families today including the commonality of sole-parenting. In order to explore aspects of sole-parenthood objectively, I need to reflect and put aside my personal experience of growing up in sole-parent household. Furthermore, this essay will explore the historical origins, cultural aspects discussing the influences and implications of gender identity, and social structures of sole-parent families, as well as consider the implications in midwifery by applying the sociological imagination. Mills (2000/1959) describes the sociological imagination as “…a quality of mind that seems most dramatically to promise an understanding of the intimate realities of ourselves in connection with larger social realities” (pp.15). In other words, the sociological imagination involves the ability to consider the relationships between personal experiences and those within society as a whole.
In this millennial it is very common to see a divided family. People get married, discover their differences and often divorce. Yet, with divorce comes many decisions and often a messy outcome. While this may take a toll on a family, remarriage is another issue of it’s own. “Step parents” is what they call them; although no one is quit sure what the word “step” truly insinuates. The sacristy of a marriage and the bond of a family is metaphorically protected by the beamed structure of a home. It isn’t until you read “Stepdaughters” by Max Apple that you catch a glimpse of the interior complications and obstacles, divorced families often face. The author seamlessly paints the very common mother and teenage daughter tension many families endure. Yet, the story is uniquely told by “stepfather number three trying to stay on the sideline” (132). The author focuses on a few issues that a family (divorced or not) may face: overbearing control, lack of trust, and unwanted change. He does this, by use of temporal setting – the dreaded teenage years – and situation – the exhausted disagreement between the mother and daughter.
“Men’s greater involvement at home is good for their relationships with their partner and also good for their children. Hands-on fathers make better parents than men who let their wives do all the nurturing and child care” (Coontz 99). Coontz believed that if men come home after work and share the chores with their wife, then they will have stronger bonds and the marriage will stay longer. Children’s are very observant, therefore they will learn valuable lessons from both of their parents. Carver showed how his father not being involved in the family has affected his relationship with his
Step Mother (second wife of fathers and mother to the youngest children) was only a young girl when her parents were killed. After a series of unfortunate events she was bought from a village clan and sold to become someone’s “companion”. None of this was her choice. “She was taken to a mission house, then taken away again, reclaimed by the village clan, and eventually sold into fathers canton merchant family” (13). Objectified and forced to be what someone else wants, stepmother is told to be exactly how the father wants her. She is forced to be submissive, and acts as a mother to the children, a wife to the husband, and a servant to the grandmother, or Poh-Poh. Throughout the novel her life is not hers to live, and her children are taught to treat her differently because of it. She is father’s second wife and not his first and because of this the children-even those who are biological- are expected to call her stepmother: “Poh-oh insisted we simplify our kinship terms in Canada, so my mother became “step mother.”… What the sons called my mother, my mother became… Father did not protest. Nor did the slim, pretty woman that was my mother seem to protest, though she must have cast a glance at the old one and decided to buy her time” (15). Stepmother is forced to be a third party in the raising of her children. She is only able to step out of
Many couples in the United States idealize the myth of a “tradition family”. The idea that a woman can spend quality time with her child while maintaining an effective sexual life with her partner seemed to have caused a lot of stress during the 1950s. Coontz’s says “this hybrid idea drove thousands of women to therapists, tranquilizers, or alcohol when they tried to live up to it.” (Coontz, 569). Which explains that it is merely impossible to try to mold a family to be “ideal.” Many families still strive for a traditional life, which they define as life “back in the day.” They need to forget the past and start living in the 21st century. “Two-thirds of respondents to one national poll said they wanted more traditional standards of family life.”(Coontz, 582). Which goes to show that many families want to change to what once used to be perceived as an “ideal family” but “the same percentage of people rejected the idea that women should return to their traditional role.”(Coontz, 582). Families want to take bits and pieces from what used to be “traditional families” over time and create their own i...
Horner, T., & Rosenberg, E. (1991). Birthparent Romances and Identity Formation in Adopted Children. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 61(1), 70-77.
Setting the tale in Nazi Germany creates an atmosphere of fear and anxiety, and establishes a set of circumstances in which it is possible for people to act in ways that would be unacceptable under other circumstances. The stepmother is a good example of this. She is the force in the family – it is she who decides that everyone in the family will have a better chance of survival, if they split up – the children going off alone together and the parents going in another direction. Unlike the portrayal of the stepmother in the Grimm fairy tale, this stepmother is not wicked. She is strong willed and determined, but not evil, although she is protecting herself and her husband by abandoning the children.
There was a time when women typically maintained the home and raised children while the husbands were the sole bread-winners for the family finances. However, times have changed and so have women’s rights and expectations for divorce, education, an...
There is a tremendous gap in the information that is put out on stepfamilies and the way they live. There are countless studies done every year on how the stepparents handle situations and how the stepparents deals with discipline or even how to discipline. Every where you look there is help for the struggling stepparent. Now, that is a good thing, the abundance of help available. But the bad thing about all that help is it did not cover the children’s point of view. Nearly all the studies done do not include children in the research. That is the major flaw in all the help books and programs for stepparents. With the rise of stepfamilies, there needs to be more help offered that takes the child perspective into account. That perspective will be the focus of this study. The intent will be to get a better understanding of how children living in stepfamilies households define their family and how they perceive their relationships with other household members.
Many people would happily accept an opportunity to have their daily stress reduced by employing help with not only their children but also with daily household responsibilities of cooking and cleaning. Especially in this fragile economic state the average family living in America cannot afford the luxury of hiring a house cleaner, cook or nanny. However, there are polygamists families in America have the abilities of multiple adults contributing to the same household because of the lifestyle choice of having multiple spouses. The extra help comes at a price for woman, by having to share her husband with other woman and raising her children in the difficult and uncommon lifestyle. Polygamy takes a total acceptance and understanding of it by the mothers, in order for polygamy not to have a negative psychological impact on her children. Children are the innocent victims of polygamy; consequently, they grow up witnessing a tense environment filled with their mother’s insecurities and rivalries with the other wives, which sequentially end up harming the child in the end. Furthermore, polygamy can be psychologically damaging to children because of the increased rates of not only welfare fraud, domestic violence, and underage marriages but also child abuse and neglect.
A child’s behavior can be associated with living in a single-parent environment or in a single-parent extended family environment. This specific article, “Extended Single-Parent Households and Children’s Behavior”, talks about how at different stages in a child’s life they could benefit or act out more when there is extended family involved. The article states that in middle childhood, a child may act out more when there is extended family involved, because grandparents try to raise over the single-mother, which will result in the child acting out negatively (Stolba & Amato, 1993). On the other hand, when the child becomes an adolescent, they will benefit from a grandparent of the same sex being in the household. The adolescent is likely not to act out negatively.
For many years, children growing up in a single parent family have been viewed as different. Being raised by only one parent seems impossible to many yet over the decades it has become more prevalent. In today’s society many children have grown up to become emotionally stable and successful whether they had one or two parents to show them the rocky path that life bestows upon all human beings. The problem lies in the difference of children raised by single parents versus children raised by both a mother and a father. Does a child need both parents? Does a young boy need a father figure around? Does the government provide help for single parents? What role do step-parents and step-siblings play? With much speculation, this topic has become a very intriguing argument. What people must understand is that properly raising a child does not rely on the structure of a family but should be more focused on the process