Social Anxiety In College

Social Anxiety: College Edition I was that annoying person in high school who had straight As, took 8 AP classes, played on the varsity softball team since my freshman year and took the SAT 4 times to try and get my highest possible score. I was the definition of an overachiever. I was raised by parents who never went to college, but who always wanted better for me, so instilled in my mind at a young age that I was going to be successful in anything that I did. This meant that I was going to go to college no matter what. Ever since kindergarten, I was in the top few students in my class who scored higher on tests, were at the highest reading level, and who stood out academically. For me, school was a very serious matter, and I put a lot of

15 year old Amanda definitely wasn’t about to do that. For that reason, I really only focused on academics while I was in high school. I didn’t join groups or clubs because I had a lot of social anxiety and didn’t want to push myself to do something that made me uncomfortable. I did know that there was a possibility that if I did try new things and try to meet people that good outcomes could come from it. I just kept telling myself that I was too far into high school to try at that point, and college was going to be a place where I could start over and be the kind of person that I wanted to be in a social aspect. It's my first day of my freshman year at San Diego State University, and I am thrilled. I told myself over the summer that this was my chance to meet amazing people and build relationships that would last me a lifetime. I moved into my dorm and met my two roommates, Joanna and Miranda. All of us got along really well, and soon enough we all became great friends. For this reason, I felt comfortable with my roommates and I think we felt safe in our little group and none of us really branched out. People in my dorm would pass by and say, “Hey Amanda how are

One of my best friends had left, who I didn’t realize I relied on so much until she wasn’t there anymore. After her departure, I became quite depressed and lonely, and really questioned if I could make it through the rest of the semester without ending up moving back home. Because of my depression, I hid away mostly in my dorm room, watching Netflix and focusing on school. I really put as much of my time as I possibly could into it to take my mind of the fact that my social life was deteriorating. After my freshman year I went back home for summer. I went to my mom, crying, saying, “I don’t want to go back next semester, I have no friends and I don’t think SDSU is the place I was meant to be”. What she said next to me really opened up eyes and made me have to self reflect. She said, “Amanda, friendships and relationships are not easy, and they usually don’t just fall into your lap. You have to work for it, you have to search for it, you have to initiate it and you have to actually try to put yourself out there if you want the results that you seek”. This made me very angry. I felt attacked and got