Communication is key in all interactions between people. It is necessary in all factors of life, as without it, there would be no understanding the needs of others. Honest and open communication is essential in an intimate relationship, as it builds trust and growth and deepens the bond between a couple. There are moments when silence is the best method to get a message across and there are moments when speaking openly is, but the best method cannot be determined without the couple honestly communicating with each other and figuring out what works the best for them. Not be forthcoming about what one expects or needs from the relationship marks its downfall as it cannot be expected that the other partner knows what is wanted without it being …show more content…
expressed. Silence and speech when not used honestly, only works to impede an intimate relationship, as it is often an indicator of deeper problems in the relationship, causes misunderstanding of the expectations of the relationship, and/or prevents the relationship from reaching greater depth.
The quote “saying nothing… sometimes says the most” by Emily Dickenson's comes to mind when describing the role of silence in an intimate relationship that lacks communication because the silence shows to be an indicator of problems within it. In A Doll’s House, Henrik Ibsen describes the relationship of a married couple, Nora and Torvald Helmer, whose marriage falls apart. When Torvald falls ill early in their marriage, Nora forges her father’s signature in order to get a loan so that they could pay for a trip to Italy as their doctor prescribed warm weather as the cure to his illness. In order to protect her husband’s fragile ego and pride, …show more content…
Nora keeps her debt a secret for years and does odd jobs and takes portions of the allowances Torvald gives her to pay it off. Everything seems to be going smoothly until the man she owed the money to, Krogstad, threatens to expose her to her husband unless she can secure his job as Torvald planned to fire him from the bank they worked at. With the help of her friend, Christine, Nora tries to figure out how to keep both her husband and Krogstad content but eventually the truth comes out. Though her action was illegal, since it was done out of love and to save her husband, Nora believes that Torvald will understand and forgive her, but instead, he reproaches her and insults her in the worse way possible. In the end, they receive a letter from Krogstad telling them that he had a change of heart and will no longer blackmail them, but the damage is already done. Torvald obsessed with appearances and public perception forgives Nora as in his fear of everyone finding out about his wife’s crime was over and tries to act like nothing happened. However, Nora cannot get past how the incident revealed how cowardly and insensitive he was and leaves him. Though, in the novel, the marriage seems to be broken by Krogstad’s blackmail, all it did was bring to light how broken their relationship already was. Throughout their marriage, Torvald infantilized Nora through his behavior and the language he chose to use when addressing her; from the allowances to his scoldings for her sweet tooth, to his revirginizing her every time they lay as man and wife, he treats her as a child. The verbal communication between them instead of helping them deepen their relationship serves to distance them as it creates a parent-child relationship instead of an intimate romantic one. Nora only maintains the distance in their relationship through her silence. Though everything she did, she did for the sake of their marriage, her silence served not only to please him and avoid confrontation but it was interpreted as a sign of approval for Torvald’s behavior towards her. Christine once says, “ they must have a complete understanding between them, which is impossible with all this concealment and falsehood going on” (Ibsen 3:78), and this can be applied to their relationship as a whole before its conclusion. Their understanding of each other’s aspirations and desires is completely superficial as their lack of communication simply keeps the facade of a marriage living. The level of communication only changes once throughout their relationship, and it is at its end when Nora breaks the silence: “No, that is just it. You don't understand me, and I have never understood you either--before tonight… We have been married now eight years. Does it not occur to you that this is the first time we two, you and I, husband and wife, have had a serious conversation?... from the very beginning of our acquaintance, we have never exchanged a word on any serious subject” (Ibsen 3:275-287). Having an honest and direct conversation made her realize that though they had been together for years that they knew nothing about each other and trying to return to the state they were in before was impossible. The silence in their marriage had locked them in a stage of superficial stagnation that did not allow any true intimacy in their relationship. Their silence spoke to the absence of emotional intimacy. The manner in which silence and speech are used in a relationship can also define the expectations both partners have of it and reveal whether it has any chance of succeeding.
As seen in the relationship between Hetty Sorel and Captain Arthur Donnithorne in Adam Bede. Hetty Sorrel is a beautiful young woman that lives with her relatives. Being so beautiful, she captures the attention of Adam Bede, an honest well-respected man of her community. Adam is completely enamored by Hetty and believing that her beauty must be a reflection of her personality asks for her hand. As a person’s physical appearance is not an accurate measure of a person’s character, Adam’s perception of Hetty proves to be false. Being aware of the power her beauty gives her, Hetty is an extremely vain woman that believes she is entitled to riches and splendor, so when Captain Arthur Donnithorne takes over and becomes the man in power, she sets her eyes on him. Hetty develops a fascination with Arthur and the life that she would have being his wife. Her beauty captures his attention as well, but he tries to avoid acting on it as he is aware that because of their differing social positions, nothing would result from entertaining his attraction. “To flirt with Hetty was a very different affair from flirting with a pretty girl of his own station… no gentleman, out of a ballad, could marry a farmer’s niece” (Elliot 13:17-18). However, he cannot hold himself back enough and continuously flirts with her and feeds
her dream of becoming his wife, “he must love her very much… He would want to marry her and make a lady of her…” (Elliot 15:5), and eventually gives in to his desire of her commencing their secret relationship. Misinterpretation of the silence between them leads them to not have an understanding of the depth of their relationship and the expectations of the other. Arthur was silent because he believed that they both knew that nothing could come of their affair, but also because he was enjoying himself and did not want to hurt her if she thought otherwise. Hetty, however, was convinced that their love was strong and that they would marry regardless of the social expectations. It was not until they are caught kissing by Adam and he convinces Arthur to end the relationship if he has no plans for a marriage that anything changes. Hetty was so certain that their relationship was more than just a sexual escapade that it is not until after she receives a letter from Arthur breaking off the relationship and speaking with Adam that she is forced to face the truth: “...He told me himself he meant nothing by his kissing and presents, and he wanted to make me believe as you thought light of 'em too. But I know better nor that. I can't help thinking as you've been trusting to his loving you well enough to marry you, for all he's a gentleman. And that's why I must speak to you about it, Hetty, for fear you should be deceiving yourself. It's never entered his head the thought o' marrying you" (Elliot 30:14). If they had been honest with each other from the beginning, then they would have been able to make a more educated decision into whether it was worth investing in the relationship. Even if only one of them had spoken up, all the heartache and disappointment could have been avoided. Failing to have a conversation about expectations and defining relationships is a huge issue in relationships. Like in the case of Arthur and Hetty, each party could have their own idea of what they want from the relationship, and for a relationship to succeed, this cannot happen. Both parties should have a complete understanding on what the other wants and expects, and there should be constant communication in order to see whether as the relationship progresses, these expectations continue to match. It is only through this mutual knowledge that there can be a successful, healthy, and mutually beneficial relationship.
Structure – The work is formatted to be a play. It has three acts, each beginning with stage directions.
It is not all about communication” . It says that not surprisingly those couples who reported communicating more effectively showed the highest satisfaction with their relationships. But the next two reasons which were also the only other ones with strong links to couple happiness, were knowledge of partner which included everything from knowing their pizza-topping preferences to their hopes and dreams and life skills like being able to hold a job, manage money, etc . But in order to have a healthy relationship I do believe that the communication is key but they also do need to know how to communicate in a healthy way that will not cause
In the play A Doll’s House by Henrik Ibsen, several literary lenses can be used to better help understand the storyline. The most prominent lens used throughout this play is gender. It plays a large role in the story A Doll’s House. Nora, the protagonist is faced with many challenges because of the normalities of 19th century society. She must overcome these difficulties throughout the play.
Modern interpretations of “A Doll’s House” and “Trifles” portray that these dramas are solely works of feminism, when in fact they address a more important issue of the time: marriage ideals. During this time, marriages were nothing but a masquerade. Husbands and wives hid behind their commitment, and were overly focused on the appearances and opinions of society. Society played a key role in the formation of the attitudes and opinions of marriage in the late 1800’s and early 1900’s. “A Doll’s House” by Ibsen was written in 1879 and focuses on the problems within the traditional marriage of the time. “Trifles” was written several years later in 1916 by Susan Glaspell and was also a story that brought the issues with marriage ideals to the forefront. Both of these plays were meant to convince people to start questioning society and to bring forth issues that were being ignored.
When attending a masquerade, a person is expected to wear a mask. In fact, it’s looked down upon if a mask isn’t worn. But, what if for some people that mask never came off? In A Doll’s House by Henrik Ibsen, each character has constructed their own metaphorical mask that they set firmly in place every morning when exiting their bed. Each character: Nora, Torvald, Kristine and Krogstad all have masks that they put in place when speaking to each other. Throughout most of the play, it is clear that all of the aforementioned characters have multiple facades that they use when speaking to one another; often switching quickly as they begin speaking to someone else. Henrik Ibsen’s use of the masquerade serves as an extended metaphor to show the masks that the characters use in their everyday lives.
In the play, A Doll’s House, by Henrik Ibsen, you will find numerous incidents, comprised of numerous beats. Inside each and every beat you will find exponential amounts of subtext, exposition, and character development. Nora Helmer, the main character, makes the most significant changes in her disposition, based on various discoveries throughout the play. It is through the discoveries that Nora eventually finds her true self. Some of Nora’s discoveries are involved in complications; some are even climax points. In the end, everything comes to a resolution, whether they are good or not.
In Henrik Ibsen's play A Doll's House, Torvald and his wife, Nora, live a middle class, conservative life with three children. Nora stays at home while Torvald works as a manager at a bank. Previously, when Torvald was sick, Nora forged her father's signature on a bond to receive money for a trip to Italy so Torvald could recover. Only Nils Krogstad, another man at the bank, and Nora's best friend, Linde, know about her terrible secret. Linde and Krogstad have also failed in society like Nora: Krogstad has performed the same act of forgery, and Linde had to work to support her family while most women stayed at home.
Weintraub, Stanley. ""Doll's House" Metaphor Foreshadowed in Victorian Fiction." Nineteenth-Century Fiction 13: 67-69. Web. 6 Jan. 2011.
The lack of parity for African Americans and women were major in this country’s past life. The play Doll House examines the subject of women’s roles during its time period while the play Fences highlights the theme of the black experience in America during its own time period. In both plays these themes are shown through the conflicts the characters Torvald Helmer and Troy Maxson encounter in their affairs.
Krogstad is one of the most complex characters from Ibsen’s A Doll’s House. Initially, Krogstad appears to be the villain of the play. Nora owes Krogstad a great deal of money. Krogstad uses the existence of her debt to blackmail Nora, threatening to inform her husband of her debt and her forgery if she does not use her influence to secure his position at the bank. Krogstad serves at a catalyst which brings about the central conflict of the play. However, Krogstad has other roles as well. Krogstad is a foil to Nora. He had been the exact same situation that Nora is in now. He had forged a signature to save the life of someone dear to him. Krogstad is also a foil to Torvald. Whereas Torvald continues to advance in society, Krogstad is at risk at losing his livelihood and reputation. In an unexpected twist, Krogstad becomes the hero of the play by the end. When love and hope is restored to him, he withdraws his threats against Nora and forgives her debt, saving Nora from suicide or from a life of ignominy.
In Henrik Ibsen’s A Doll House, a drama written in the midst of an 1879, middle-class, suburban Europe, he boldly depicts a female protagonist. In a culture with concern for fulfilling, or more so portraying a socially acceptable image, Nora faces the restraints of being a doll in her own house and a little helpless bird. She has been said to be the most complex character of drama, and rightfully so, the pressure of strict Victorian values is the spark that ignites the play's central conflicts. Controversy is soon to arise when any social-norm is challenged, which Nora will eventually do. She evolves throughout the play, from submissive housewife to liberated woman. It seems as though what took women in America almost a century to accomplish, Nora does in a three-day drama. Ibsen challenges the stereotypical roles of men and women in a societally-pleasing marriage. He leads his readers through the journey of a woman with emerging strength and self-respect. Nora plays the typical housewife, but reveals many more dimensions that a typical woman would never portray in such a setting.
In Henrik Ibsen’s play, A Doll House Ibsen describes the perfect family and the conflicts within. Ibsen examines the normal lives of the Helmer family through the eyes of the wife, Nora Helmer. She goes through a series of trials as she progresses through the play and with each trial she realizes something is missing in her life. Ibsen examines the struggles within the house.
It is vital that individual differences are ironed out through open discussion by identifying and accommodating them in a mutually exclusive interpersonal communication. Personal communication is the foundation of resolving individual differences, which go a long way to produce harmony, respect and love into the relationship. The exchange of information, feelings, and meaning through verbal and non-verbal messages appreciate make marriage last till eternity.
Communication is important in relationships as it allows us to share our interest, concerns, support each other; organize our lives and make decisions; and it allows us to work together. Effective communication is based on the way we talk and listen, how we respond and our body language. We can all learn how to improve the way we communicate.
Societal problems prevail throughout the history of the world and exist within all countries, regions, and cultures. The controversial aspects in societies are based on a large variety of subjects, and have to be identified in order to cause societal change. Therefore, Realism is the portrayal of difficulties in societies that are depicted in everyday life, which includes common situations and actions. Realism allows authors to describe and emphasize the incompetence of some aspects within communities, while enabling writers to call for societal reform. Henrik Ibsen portrays and addresses the concepts of Norway’s society in the 19th century in A Doll House, which is a tragic play translated by Rolf Fjelde. Ibsen desires to challenge assumptions as well as rules of Norwegian life, and most importantly wants to depict society accurately, as he meticulously incorporates everyday life. Therefore, A Doll House represents a Realistic drama due to the issues involving women, illnesses, and laws within the play, while conveying Ibsen’s desire of controversy and change in Norway’s society.