Attraction is instant and love develops over time. In order to make real love last, both partners must put in the effort, become fearless, and take things slow.
In order to find one’s soulmate, one needs to put in an effort to make the initial attraction last. People need to realize that love does not happen right away, and effort needs to be fulfilled. If one is fearful, love will not come to them.
Romantic love is one that effort is put in constantly. In the article “Search for a Soul Mate, or Love the one You’re With?,” by Karen S. Peterson, she argues, “a deep bond develops only after years of working to make a relationship last” (1). Soul mates are not just found miraculously. In order for one to find a working relationship, you have to both put in equal effort. The more effort one puts into their relationship, the better off the relationship will be. Soulmates develop
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For example, if one is so afraid to find love that he dodges every person that comes into his path, he will end up sleeping alone. If one is constantly fearful of having a broken heart, and never takes a risk, one will never allow themselves to find love. According to Arthur C. Brooks in his article, “Taking Risks in Love,” he states “the opposite of love is fear” (2). In order to find love, one must take the risk and lose all fear of failure.
Love does not happen right away, but rather over time. Feelings for a person develop and deepen over time. One has to go through hardships together in order to earn respect for one another. The longer one is with someone, the chances are that one’s relationship is compatible and will last. One must get to know one another before jumping into intimacy. One has to be emotionally and physically attracted to their partner and in order to figure that out, it will take time. According to John Gray in his article, “Stage 1: Attraction,” “the blending together of male and female must be done in gradual stages”
First of all, it takes time to develop trust and understanding, which are indispensable elements that comprises love. Which is what
Lust is an incredibly strong feeling that can prove to be almost uncontrollable, leading it to commonly be mistaken for love. Due to the relative closeness of these emotions, both are often confused, and even when one is in love he or she does not recognize it. Many think that love just comes knocking on one's door and one will know when it does, but they don't realize that for love to occur a relationship has must be worked out. Love is described by some as fireworks, tingles, and butterflies in the stomach; but it is lust that can cause these things to happen, and it is these that mark only the beginning of a relationship. After a while, these feelings die out, and this is when the honeymoon period is over; it is from this point on that the relationship will either end or get stronger and eventually lead to true love.
A few days ago I was listening to Taylor John Williams’ song, “The Mates of Soul” in the shower. As I took carried out the exhilarating tasks of lathering and rinsing, I listened to the perplexed artist as he sung of the absurdities people who believe in soulmates fill both their minds and waking hours with. In his pragmatic testimony, Williams paints his verses with a voice of reason, questioning why so many individuals insist on maintaining a strong belief in the permanence of soulmates despite our human nature to inevitably change over time. Yet after my shower, even my quick-dry towel couldn’t quite soak up the droplets of Williams’ words from my skin: “they say to stay together and promise to [love each other] forever, even if forever never really wanted to stay.” Throughout the remainder of my day, I found myself wondering whether Williams was being prudent and wise in his beliefs, or simply illogical and cynical.
The article, “Measurement of Romantic Love” written by Zick Rubin, expresses the initial research aimed at presenting and validating the social-psychological construct of romantic love. The author assumed that love should be measured independently from liking. In this research, the romantic love was also conceptualized to three elements: affiliative and depend need, an orientation of exclusiveness and absorption, and finally a predisposition to help.
“Love interrupts at every hour at the most serious occupations, and sometimes perplexes for a while even the greatest minds.” – Schopenhauer1 All of us that have been in love can identify with this quote, but the real question is how do we find, and choose our lovers? Schopenhauer would argue that making a decision, about an ultimate lover is merely biological. He believes in something he calls the will to life which he defines as “an inherent drive within human beings to stay alive and reproduce.”1 We sometimes even ask ourselves why him, or why her? We have absolutely no conscious say in the partner we pick, and that our animalistic subconscious picks our lovers. Yes, humans do romantic things with their lovers, and for their lovers to strengthen the connection like: picnics, expensive dinners, and rose petals on the floor. But the main decision is ultimately based on biological factors alone. The last thing you’re thinking about when getting someone’s number at a club is having a baby, but subconsciously that’s the truth .1 I will analyze Schopenhauer’s ideas of love, giving modern evidence, as well as stories of personal experience throughout the next few paragraphs. I believe Schopenhauer hit the nail right on the head when it comes to love (besides his idea of polygamy.)
To get to the point of love, we get to know a person, flirt with them, and finally commit to them. When we fall in love, our goal is to have closeness to another human being, or a commitment. Without commitment, which includes intimacy, we would not be able to have a happy and healthy adulthood (Myers, 2010). This is a foundation that not only will fulfill us, but also will give our children a strong example of attachment. With this example, they will be able to repeat this process in their lives.
and intentions, it will not be achieved. Like the wise Taylor Swift once said, “Love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right”
Selecting a romantic partner can be one of the best feelings in the world. There can be many ways that lead up to that partner even if it is true love and how well you know them. Also you will know how someone is the “right one” once you have known them for a while. Finding the right romantic partner is often a difficult journey, for several reasons. Perhaps you grew up in a household where there was no role model, healthy relationship and you doubt that such a thing even exists. Or maybe your dating history consists only of short, abrupt relationships where you or your partner gets bored too soon, and you don 't know how to make a relationship last. But there is always someone out there for you.
Two individuals coming together for the rest of their life does not mean that they are deeply bonded forever because they are each others true love. It is all in our hormones and our genetics, and human DNA will do whatever it needs to, to allow reproduction and maintain human life. Fairy tale or not, true love does not exist and we are all enslaved to our hormones, for better or for
True love is impossible to define. It is a feeling, a rush of emotions. It is a force of nature. No matter how hard anyone tries, they cannot predict it, control it, or demand it. For this reason, the path to true love is a very difficult one.
Marrying because of romantic love is ill-fated because love is merely an emotion, and emotions are just a response of the limbic system of the brain being stimulated by the body’s attempt at regulating neural processes and the release of pheromones and chemicals. The release of such chemicals are caused by a random sequence of events, mainly the increase of one’s heart rate alongside the increase of respiration rate. This sequence of events is what can cause the “falling out of love” experienced by many, because the release of dopamine and phenylethylamine is not permanent and the high experienced quickly fades. For the feeling of love to last a steady chemical benefit of serotonin and oxytocin are required.
Wisdom helps you choose who to trust with your love. There is no such thing as ‘love at first sight’. True love can only happen when you truly know and have a connection with a person. As I stated earlier, love requires work to keep alive. Love can diminish if you do not nurture and develop it fully.
Romantic love requires attraction, plus attachment. Someone can be very strongly attracted to another person, but never become attached. Without some feeling of attachment, attraction is nonspecific. Once you have begun to fall in love with someone, this process becomes more and more important and you begin to feel more attached to this person. When in this state of attachment, each person feels as if they are one person combined together.
Another quote is “ who is beloved than one men, is broken at every preserved by the link of obligation which, owing to the baseness of men, is broken at every opportunity for their advantage; but fear preserves you by a dread of punishment which never fails. Which means what i said earlier that fear also has it weaknesses but not as much as love
... in finding true love. The idea of genuine love needs to be embedded on everyone, it’s the type of love that is durable companionate love between two united people who are firmly devoted to one another, and if worked on daily it may contain some added passion.