Reviving Ophelia Saving The Selves Of Adolescent Girls Essay

Introduction

Growing up is tough for adolescent girls because society believes they need to be a certain way. They struggle within themselves to be accepted by society. In the book Reviving Ophelia Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls written by Mary Pipher, an American clinical psychologist, she discusses her experiences with many different kinds of girls. Pipher tells stories of her clients and friends children. She jumps from one story to the next and brings them together. She discusses the similarities and differences of the girls. Pipher tries to find solutions for these troubled girls and ways for parents to understand their daughters. It is a great book for girls and parents to relate to because it has a little bit of everything from

divorce, eating disorders, drug and alcohol abuse, sex, to violence. It gives parents the tools they need to raise their daughters. Children need guidance, emotional, and physical support to grow as individuals.
Summary
The book is twenty years old but still makes valid points about how the world is constantly changing. It has stories of different types of girls going through tough times and the therapist tries to find the root of the problem and giving them tools to deal with changes in their lives. Girls that are reaching adolescences are going through dramatic changes. They shut themselves off from others. Girls also lose their curiosity and sense of adventure. They become self-critical and judge based on culture norms. Girls are living in a different world than the world that their parents grew up in. The times have changed to a more dangerous, sexualized, and media based world than ever before. They have more stress and pressure than ever. One little thing could go wrong and they could feel like their life is crumpling in their hand. Parents need to educate and be active in their child’s life. Society as a whole needs to change for these adolescent girls or the problems will continue.
Girls growing up in America are very different than girls growing up in other countries. In other countries it’s important to be close with parents and when they get older they take care of their parents. It is normal to distant themselves from their parents and turn to peers and media for help or just being by themselves. American girls are constantly changing and dealing with a million different things that cause stress. Peers give girls the comfort they need because they can relate to what they are experiencing.
Book Review
“Girls are terrified of being fat, as well as they should be. Being fat means being left out, scorned and vilified.”
Girls are exposed to the media at a very young and idolize what they see and hear. It is almost impossible to get away from it because it’s on TV, magazines, music videos, and on billboards. The media tends to have an image of what is beautiful. It is believed that you have to be tall, skinny, and be sexually attractive. Girls and women see the images and feel like they aren’t good enough or pretty enough. Over the years the image of what is beautiful has changed. Women are getting taller and skinnier. It is unrealistic and unhealthy but females have that pressure to be and look perfect. Girls tend to turn to unhealthy choices to be thinner and look beautiful. It is depressing to know how far some girls have gone to be thinner. They will turn to eating disorders, diet pills, and street drugs.
They have the pressure to be thinner but they also have to deal with the pressure to be sexually attractive. Teenagers feel like they won’t be liked if they aren’t sexually attractive or having sex like many teenagers pressured into it. The best thing for parents to do is educate their children. They should learn about how many images are photo shopped and the risks of eating disorders. In my own experience I had to do a project on eating disorders in elementary school and it opened up my eyes and I learned many things before I entered middle school. In middle school I had a lot of pressure and stress about my body because it was developing faster than girls my age. I turned to bulimia and threw up twice and gave up. The information I already knew and the risks I was taking, I knew it wasn’t worth it. Society needs to change or it’s going to keep destroy many girls, inside and out.
“Divorcing parents often just don’t have the energy to give.” (134)
Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce.

Sometimes divorce is impossible to avoid and the children feel trapped in the middle. They lived a life that was comfortable and the only thing they knew. Then one day their whole life gets flipped upside down and the foundation they had is gone. They have to deal with parents constantly fighting and having to choose who they want to live with. Girls tend to feel alone and guilt which affects academics and behavior. They are angry at both parents for letting them down. They feel like they are different because they don’t have the support from both parents in the same house. The best way for parent to handle the divorce correctly is to talk about the divorce to the child and make them know that it’s not the child’s fault. Children tend to handle the divorce better if they get the support from both parents and loved by

both.
“Heidi’s father was a local pediatrician and her mother a homemaker who worked with the Junior League.” (167)
It is just a little funny to see the works “homemaker” in the book a few times because people today don’t use that word. You can tell the writer is older and so is the book.
“At our first individual session, Casey plopped down on the couch and groaned, “I got drunk again last night. I’m scheduled to wash dishes and mow the lawn until I die of old age.” (194)
It is sad that girls at such a young age turn to alcohol and drugs to deal with their problems. Society has made it acceptable and normal to drink alcohol or do drugs. It is easily available and an escape from reality. Girls should be educated about what is out there and how to handle situations when and if it is around them. Parents shouldn’t shelter them from what out there because it could trigger children to rebel. Teenagers are curious and like to test the limits. It is shown that teens that are introduced to alcohol in the home are less likely to become heavy drinkers. In my opinion I don’t see a problem in teenagers drinking as long as the parents are informed and no driving is involved.
Conclusion
Girls shouldn’t feel scared to be something different than society expects.

It shows that girls that are not accepted nor do things that aren’t normal have an easier time when they get older. They learn techniques to deal with pain and rejection. Some turn to sports, reading, writing, family, or a comfort place. Girls that are unattractive or don’t worry about their looks get picked on in adolescence but as they get older it develops a strong sense of self. They are more isolated from others but become more independent and self-determination unlike girls that have been accepted by others. Girls that spend so much time trying to please others become unhappy because they aren’t making the only person that really matters happy, themselves. If girls didn’t have to worry about looks and trying to fit into society they would have an easier time in adolescence. Adults are failing children because they are educating them that they don’t need to look like everyone else because they are already beautiful just the way they are. They are ready have to worry about so much like their bodies changing and finding out who they are. They need good advance and guidance as they grow up to be adults. Girls need to start working together to be strong and independent young women. They should be proud to be different and look for things that make thing shine from the

rest.
In my opinion I feel like if I had this information and the support I would have had an easier time growing up. Growing up I was a tomboy that didn’t care about how my hair looked and wanted to do sports all the time. I wanted to do wresting in high school but my step mother told me no because I was a girl. She told me that I couldn’t do many things growing up because I was a girl. I did everything different because people told me that I couldn’t. I had academy schools calling me wanting me to go to their school to do their nursing programs but my family told me that I wasn’t smart enough. They laughed in my face when I said I was going to go to college someday. I was told that I was only good for being a house wife so I needed to find a guy that had lots of money to support me. I proved them all wrong and am making my own life without them. Many adults have failed me growing up and I don’t ever want to turn out like that. Every girl has the strength to become whatever she wants to be and adults should be pushing them to succeed.