Reflection Paper #2

My Presentation

In class today I was able to finally able give my presentation. I really wanted to get it completed today because one, I did not want it hanging over my head for another week and two I really enjoyed the topic. It is interesting to see how far we have come within our field, and it also shines a spotlight on how much further we have to go. Reading some of those excerpts of how soldiers with PTSD really got to me. Even while I was presenting I felt my emotions rising and, I’m not sure if it was noticeable but I had to pause at points just to gather myself. I eventually completed the presentation and I was pleased with the amount of questions the other students asked. When I went to sit down, another student said something to the effect of: “great job, presentations are always so much better when the person is passionate about their topic.” I smiled and thanked them of course, and suddenly felt really good about what I was doing. My passion is the other side of my pain. My trauma will always be a part of me, and it is likely that it will continue to affect me for years to come. However, if I focus on channeling my experiences into a passion to learn and help others, at least what I have been through will not be for nothing and I will be able to ascribe some sort of meaning to it. It’s interesting how such a simple gesture can have such an impact. I was able to leave the class feeling good about my choice to study trauma, and honestly I kind of needed that. I have had so many doubts about what I want to do professionally and those doubts begin to really take a toll on me. However, this experience allowed me a chance to move my reservations to the back burner, if only for a few days, and focus on something positive for...

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...n the Trauma Stewardship text. Something simple like the technique of “five things I hear, five things I see, five things I feel” that you shared in class have already had a pretty profound impact on me. I am a very anxious person and that technique really helps ground me when I feel like I am getting overwhelmed. For me, it is learning that these things actually work for me that inspire me to continue to develop a plan of self-care. I am skeptical by nature, and when I was first presenting with mindfulness I thought it was hokum. However, between employing it for personal use, learning about it in various courses, and talking to other students and professors about it, I have developed a strong interest in it. I have every intention of incorporating mindfulness into my future practice, and I also have every intention of perfecting a plan for continuous self-care.