Reflection: A Critical Analysis Of Relational Dialectics

When we communicate, is our message received? If it is, then fine but if it isn’t how can we become better at communicating our interests? Many scholars have studied interpersonal relationships. They have poured over data, conducted studies and written theories on how we can make effective interpersonal relationships. I, myself have tried over the years to cultivate this ability. Mostly through self-taught or trial and error and some scholarly education. After taking this course I see how some of the things tried were apart of these theories and learned others to help further my education.

These theories can help us understand who we are. While studying for this course, Relational Dialectics (Griffin, Ledbetter, Sparks, 2015) stood out. Early

There are layers that I only allow certain people access to. One of my deepest layers that only my closest friends know about is my sister. She died suddenly at a very young age. She was 13 years older than me and we were very close. She died in 1995 and I am still affected greatly by her passing. Her information and how I feel about her is not something I give out freely. There has to be almost a complete level of trust before that side is shown. The feelings for her are kept guarded. Once a person knows about her truly from me then they have pretty much penetrated to the core of my being.

Another aspect this theory touches on is the rewards and costs (Griffin, et al., 2015). When we disclose our secret we set ourselves up for vulnerability. This is vital though in building a string interpersonal relationship. When we show people our inner most selves we tell them we value them and trust them in our lives. The use and understanding of this theory can lead to deeper and more meaningful interpersonal

I caution to not let this difference be your deciding factor in an interpersonal relationship. Think of all the times certain things were thought of to only be proved wrong later. Some examples are: people use to believe the sun revolved around the earth, the earth was flat, and how left-handed people were seen as evil in ancient times (sometimes I think we still are). Those are only a few examples where the world differed and caused major issues.

One of the factors I believe that places us, at least in our early years of life, into either a Rational-World or Narrative Paradigm, is our family system (Griffin, et al., 2015). Paul Watzlawick explains this system with his Interactional View (Griffin, et al., 2015).

This theory works off of how we interact with our family. As suggested on the Ohio.edu page, Watzlawick was more interested in the dysfunctional family (“Interactional View,” n.d.). I can relate to this theory. My parents were older when I was born. They grew up in days of racis m towards the black community and segregation. Growing up I would hear them speak ill of black people. My family rules and roles suggested that I grow up with that same mindset. Luckily I was able to not fall into that dysfunctional