Raymond Carver Cathedral Essay

A relationship is more than something physical. In fact, there are several types of intimacy: mental, emotional, and physical. In Raymond Carver’s short story called “Cathedral”, the narrator is not familiar to any but the last listed. He consequently distanced himself from others, including his wife because he does not take the initiative to be mentally invested in any discussions. This makes the narrator isolated, incapable of empathy or to understand others’ perspectives. This characteristic has an adverse effect on his social life and in his relationship with his wife, who is unnamed in the story. Moreover, it distorts his view of relationships. A theme that’s present in the story is for one to know, i.e. to empathize with someone, he or

she needs to be mentally engaged in the conversation. All in all, as the narrator recapture the past, it is evident that the narrator’s dismissive attitude towards people, especially his wife, negatively affects their relationship, his views of relationships, and prevents him from reaching an understanding of others by causing him to be personally isolated from others.
The unnamed narrator is one of the few characters in the story. He tells the story from his perspective, and although his thoughts are honest, his opinions of others are flawed, which makes him unreliable. The narrator recaptures the time when he reaches a transcendent moment after late night conversing with a blind man named Robert, an old friend of his wife who come to spend the night. The narrator explains how he and his wife meet, and that Robert is greatly influential in his wife’s life. He brings up an important moment in her life when Robert touches her face, which inspires her to write poetry. He continues, indifferently speaking of his wife’s harsh past, her former husband, suicide attempt, and how Robert is there through all of it because she and Robert keep in contact with each other by sending audio tapes back and forth. Once Robert arrives, there is an initial awkwardness. The narrator feels uncomfortable being around Robert at first because he is blind. Even though he knows little about Robert, he is judgemental and makes assumptions based on speculations. His insensitive remarks continually drives his wife into a boil. As the story progresses, the narrator is proven wrong several times. He sees Robert is capable of doing more things than he expects. To his astonishment, he actually learns more of himself from Robert. When the narrator asks Robert what he knows about cathedrals, Robert admits he only knows it to some degree. He mentions about builders who are involved in the construction of cathedrals, and how they invest their entire life to something that they can not witness in their lifetime. Robert then asks him to depict a cathedral, but the narrator fails to convey more than the physical aspects of a cathedral. Robert suggests an activity; he instructs the narrator to draw a cathedral while he places his hand on top of the narrator’s. Robert asks him to close his eyes while continuing to draw, and by this, the narrator reaches self-revelation.
When the narrator recalls the past, his view of the past with such indifference is unmistakeable. The majority of the past is his interaction with his wife, which is mostly in a glibness like manner. He has a dismissive attitude towards her thoughts and opinions. This suggests that he does not know his wife personally, and therefore, his marriage is nothing more than something physical. The most apparent reason for this is because of his lack of effort to care to listen. His apathetic view of what his wife has to say is evident in several parts of the story. One of the most striking example is when he explicitly states so. He thinks to himself, “my wife filled me in with more detail than I cared to know” when his wife shares to him about Beulah and Robert’s past. Additionally, he reacts similarly when his wife shows him an audio of Robert. He does not bother to listen to the rest of the audio once he “heard all he wanted to hear”. His dismissiveness trait is detrimental to the relationship he has with people. Perhaps, his disinterest in what others have to say is the reason why he does not have “any friends” such as his wife states because he does not make an effort to listen. This problematic characteristic prevents him from knowing a person. In this case, it is preventing him from knowing his wife more intimately. He does not know his wife well, and it is reflective from his refusal to acquaint himself with the people significant in her life like Robert. When the narrator’s wife asks him to make Robert feel welcome like he would with his friends, he complains, “I don’t have any blind friends” (Carver 437). Likewise, his unfunctional relationship can be concluded from his numerous oblivious, callous comments that upsets her. In multiple incidents, his insensitive comments regarding Robert irritates his wife more than Robert. For example, when Robert ran out topics to talk about, instead of trying to bring up more topics, he turns on the tv (440). This characteristic of indifference impedes him from further understanding his wife, and therefore, understanding what a true relationship means. That is, it is for this reason why he is misinformed of what a real relationship is.
Dismissiveness is an undesirable trait in that it is the cause of miscommunication.

As a result, it affects the way one views someone or something, and most of the time, it causes misinterpretations and flawed preconceptions like the narrator perceptions of relationships. The narrator does not consider all the facts because he only listens to what he wants to hear. Therefore, the narrator is more likely to make false assumptions like his ridicule of Beulah and Robert’s relationship. When the narrator’s wife tells him about Robert and Beulah’s marriage, he felt pitiful for Beulah.
A woman who could go on day after day and never receive the smallest compliment from her beloved. A woman whose husband could never read the expression on her face, be it misery or something better… her last thought maybe this: that he will never know what she looked like. (439)
The narrator’s criticism of Robert’s marriage reveals he misapprehends the meaning of a true relationship, which unlike his own is beyond physical intimacy. He has yet to experience the emotional, intellectual intimacy, which is inhibited from his dismissiveness trait. Consequently, he is unable to understand Robert’s marriage. Inconsidering other opinions means one have yet to hear the full course of the story, and as a consequence, it leads to flawed

conclusions.
Because of his disinterest in what others have to say, he is personally detached from people.

He lacks empathy. To say it in another way, he is unable to relate and understand those who surrounds him. His detachment or isolation is more obvious when Robert asks him to describe cathedrals. He struggles to and admits, “cathedrals don’t mean anything special to me. Nothing…They’re something to look at on late-night TV. That’s all they are” (444). Some may argue it is through isolation that leads the narrator to the transcendent moment. Although he feels isolate from the physical world, this can not be achieve without coming in union with the drawing. The narrator reaches transcendence through the unification with his drawing of the cathedral, and his action of blindly drawing the cathedral demonstrate so (445). Essentially I am arguing that he experiences an epiphany by finally gaining the ability to understand the true meaning of a cathedral. This can not be achieved if the narrator had no mental engagement. He reaches self-realization by, specifically, listening to the instructions and participating in the activity that Robert proposes. In other words, he is actively engage in the conversation and the exercise, contrasting from his prior conversations with Robert during then he does not give more than four words responses (440). He makes an effort to consider what is said, which is illustrated by him running in order to get the pen and paper for the exercise (444). The

absence of personal involvement and consideration of what people have to say alienates him from other people because he can not comprehend how they feel. This isolation does not cause his sudden realization as some will speculate, but it is cause by his appreciation of the cathedral, which occurs by his effort to understand.
The only way someone can know how another person is feeling is by communication and being attentive to what they say. Without the ability to empathize, he or she can not share another person’s feelings. He or she is emotionally ostracized from everyone else. In Raymond Carver’s fiction story “Cathedral”, the narrator is in similar predicament. He is unwilling to become personally involved in a conservation. This jeopardizes his relationship with his wife and everyone overall. As a result, it affects how he perceives relationships. When he looks at other people relationship like Beulah and Robert’s, he compares theirs to his own relationship with his wife. He wrongly believes it is not a real relationship when someone is missing out their partner's’ appearance. When he abandons the trait of indifference and set his mind on the drawing of the cathedral is when he gains a revelation. Given these points, as the narrator remembers the past, one can conclude the narrator act of indifference impacts his mindset and his relationship and understanding of people.