Purity balls are an Evangelical Christian phenomenon that has recently captured the attention of the world for its odd properties. Purity balls are dances that promote sexual purity, to the extent of saving the girl’s first kiss for their wedding day. Purity balls should be outlawed or strongly discouraged culturally and organizations who receive government funding should lose that funding because purity balls promote forced abstinence policies towards young women, promote heteronormativity, and leaves young women in the dark about their bodily autonomy as well what a healthy relationship is. Randy Wilson and his wife Lisa hosted the first purity ball in Colorado Springs in 1998. The purpose of the first purity ball was to engage fathers in their daughters’ lives because women who are closer to their fathers than those who are not have …show more content…
better relationships with men later in life and generally are more confident human beings. (Gibbs) Dan Kindlon, Ph.D., “did in-depth interviews with 113 girls and teens for his new book, Alpha Girls, found that those who had the best relationships with their dads were the most accomplished academically and had the strongest sense of self”. (Baumgardner) In an interview with Anderson Cooper, Randy Wilson said that “purity balls encourage fathers to participate in their daughters' lives, provide guidance, and teach coping skills” (Cooper) for their pure life in a culture that doesn’t celebrate teen purity or waiting until marriage. So what exactly would be wrong with wanting young women to grow up with healthy paternal relationships? It is not that those opposed to purity balls are against young women having strong relationships with their fathers, it is that the setting emphasizes their sexual purity instead of the relationship they have with their father or the relationship that their father wants to have with them. Alternatives to purity balls to help fathers and daughters could be anywhere from cooking classes to sharing hobbies until they both find something enjoyable to do together. Young women are going to be asserting their autonomy in the years during or after their first purity ball. By attending purity balls, young women, and sometimes girls, sign contracts of abstinence. What is abstinence? There are two types of abstinence, forced abstinence and voluntary abstinence. Abstinence in general is “abstinence as not having any kind of sex play with a partner.” (Planned Parenthood) Forced abstinence is when a child comes to the age of puberty and is not given the education or the time to decide if they wish to remain abstinent. Voluntary abstinence is when a person chooses to not have sex until after marriage even after being educated on safe sex in a non-demeaning way. By forcing women to be abstinent, it removes their bodily autonomy, or bodily integrity. Bodily autonomy or bodily integrity is control over what is done to people’s bodies, by who and for how long. It is considered to be a basic human right, and a choice everyone has to make. By forcing abstinent ideals onto women, in the form of contracts that they may or may not understand and may or may not be pressured into signing, they lose the ability to make choices with their body. Heteronormativity is the asserts that heterosexuality is the only sexual orientation or only norm, and states that sexual and marital relations are most (or only) fitting between people of opposite sexes. How purity balls promote heteronormativity is that they strongly promote the concept of marriage being between a man and a woman in their ceremonies by telling fathers that they will “shield and protect [their] daughter” (Purity Ball) until their husbands comes, who will then shield and protect the girl. This willfully ignores women who prefer other women as sexual partners over men, or are more likely to be romantically involved with women opposed to men. Healthy relationships are those that encourage communication and respect both inside and outside of the bedroom.
Only by experience can people learn how these relationship boundaries should be drawn, and what makes them comfortable. By being discouraged to date and experience sexual activities, women lose the ability to demand a healthy relationship because they don’t know what a healthy relationship is. Purity balls discourage women building healthy relationships from experience because the participants feel that dating, and developing healthy sexual relationships without parental input leads to “getting used, betrayed, [and] having guys deceive [them].” (Baumgardner) While that care is well intentioned it promotes a double standard between young men and young women. Feminists like Amanda Paul believe that purity balls promote double standards between the sexes, because of the use of “purity rings… and overprotective parenting.” These are not commonly seen with young men (Paul) and by neglecting the idea of male sexual purity, it promotes the double standard between young men and young women that is pervasive in Western
culture. Churches are nonprofits, and churches need money. Some of these organizations have government funding due to church grants. Church grants are for “maintaining the structure and surrounding area” (US Health and Human Services) of a church that has the proper nonprofit tax status. While the church has every right to practice what they wish, the violation of women’s more basic human rights, as well as the promotion of a sexual double standard should have their funding removed. Their status as nonprofit church is questionable when the only activity they appear to participate in is a for profit purity ball. Purity balls are a relatively new attraction in the world of religion, and should be stopped before it spreads even further. Purity balls should be strongly discouraged culturally, or outlawed because they promote heteronormative behaviors, sexual double standards in education, denies women of their bodily autonomy and denies them of healthy relationships.
The values and rules of traditional community add great pressure on an individual 's shoulder while choosing their identity. While women 's have relatively more freedom then before but however values of traditional communities creates an invisible fence between their choices. It put the young women in a disconcerting situation about their sexual freedom. Bell demonstrates the how the contradiction messages are delivered to the young woman 's, she writes that “Their peers, television shows such as Sex and the City, and movies seem to encourage sexual experimentation... But at the same time, books, such as Unhooked and A Return to Modesty advise them to return to courtship practices from the early 1900s”(27).
With so many opportunities to learn about their sexuality denied, Latina girls are forced to empower their own sexual knowledge on their own or with the help of friends. One example is through the use of self-respect. Similar to how mothers often instill a sense of self-respect on to their daughters, many Latina girls use the same concept to redefine the concept of the good girl/ bad girl dichotomy. Instead of the act itself automatically labeling girls as bad girls, it is the reasoning behind their sexual activities that ultimately matter. If a girl has sex within an established sexual relationship, that may or may not be defined as love, she is viewed as a good girl. But if a girl has indiscriminate sexual relations without regard to their own sexual health, she is labeled a skank or a hoe and thus a bad girl. Additionally, young Latinas often empower their sexuality, through the
Saturday night, May 15, 2004, was Lemoore High School's prom. As Lemoore principal Jim Bennett looked around the dance floor, he saw most of the guys dancing behind their dates, grinding their hips against the girls as the girls gyrated back against them. They were freak-dancing, which is how most people dance to hip-hop, but Mr. Bennett had always felt it was too sexual for a school event. "It's [the same as] foreplay," he says. During the last song of the night, a girl got on all fours and rubbed her butt against
As stated in the book, “college students have much to teach about sex” (8). That is because the values, ideologies, and worldviews of the students are representative of greater American culture. Although flawed, hookup culture on American campuses hold the possibility of accepting a culture of inclusivity, care, pleasure, and freedom while also rejecting predatory behavior, racism, classism, and abuse. Dismissing hookup culture all together is blind to the reality that young adults are going to have sex, and since sex is non-negotiable, one’s aim should be to foster open dialogue and critical thought onto a future where everyone enjoys the ability to freely explore sexuality, sex, and gender on their own
It has been almost thirty three years since the first federal funding was put to use in “. . . sex education programs that promote abstinence-only-until-marriage to the exclusion of all other approaches . . .” according to the article “Sex education” (2010) published by “Opposing Viewpoints in Context;” a website that specializes in covering social issues. Since then a muddy controversy has arisen over whether that is the best approach. On one hand is the traditional approach of abstinence (not having sex before marriage), and on the other is the idea that what is being done is not enough, and that there needs to be a more comprehensive approach. This entails not only warning against sex, but also teaching teens about how to have “Safe Sex” (“Sex Education,” 2010).
Even though our country supports equality in gender, differences still exist. This issue of gender and sexuality of our society has had one of the biggest impacts in my life since I was raised with five brothers. Since birth, I was immediately perceived by my parents as my gender role of girl and daughter. My brothers were given action figures, cars, and guns to play with. I was given the traditional girl toys Barbies, baby dolls and kitchen sets. Of course, I enjoyed my traditional girl toys but it might have been nice to have a choice and be able to have the same toys as my brothers to play with. I eventually concluded that I should be satisfied with whatever toys were given to me by my parents.
One of the points Freitas makes in the beginning of the book is, “The rise and “progress” of hookup culture rests in the fact that young adults are simply getting better at being uncaring.” (13). Is it “uncaring” of the active independence of choice to engage in hookups without the shame? Women for centuries have been sexually repressed by societal pressures, so when they choose to become liberated from the shame, they are met with the idea that they are ambivalent to sex. She says that hookup culture hinders people from becoming successful in her terms, “ We cannot encourage our students and children to become whole, integrated, empowered, and virtuous people if we fail to adequately address hookup culture and to articulate how it works against these goals.” (15). So, not only does it make people “uncaring” to Freitas, it also somehow discredits your capability to be successful. Those ideas sound very much like the rhetoric used on women for centuries to defuse their empowerment. She also includes, “Ultimately, we need to empower them to seek the kinds of relationships they want…”(16). Freitas neglects to acknowledge that some women might want to engage in hookups and not desire a relationship in the traditional sense. There is constant ignorance of choice behind sexuality and expression, confused with a lack of
Due to the girl’s current lifestyle and behavior, the mother is focused on sharing the value to save her daughter from a life of promiscuity. The mother fears her daughter will become a “slut” and insists that is exactly what the daughter desires. Moreover, the mother is very blunt with her view when she uses repetition with the statement, “… the slut you are so bent on becoming.” (Kincaid92). It is very clear that the mother holds a reputation to such a standard that it could determine the overall quality of a woman and her life. Therefore, a woman’s sexuality should be protected and hidden to present the woman with respect and to avoid the dangers of female sexuality. The mother is very direct in calling out certain, specific behaviors of the daughter. Such as, the way the daughter walks, plays with marbles, and approaches other people. The mother is very persistent that the daughter must act a certain way that can gain their community’s respect. She fears the social consequence of a woman’s sexuality becoming
Nowadays, more people tend to care about and work on social justice. Women’s rights, as one of the topics, draws people’s attention. The society and female-selves have rethought the meaning of being women in the 21st century. Therefore, nowadays twenty-something girls start to behave differently from early generation. One of the behaviors becomes ambiguous, which is female sexuality. In “Selections from Hard to Get: Twenty-Something Women and the Paradox of Sexual Freedom”, Leslie Bell argues that neither contradictory directing nor expectation from others is the main reason that causes female sexuality. She sets up this claim, because the identity a woman established by herself impacts more on a woman’s sexuality. Establishing an identity is more important because it’s more independently authentic, also it represents what the woman wants, who she truly wants to be. Another reason is that, sexuality is one of the changed-behaviors that women use to prove their established identity. Therefore, female sexuality is driven by identity rather than social expectation or confused directing from others because, first, the identity is established by a women herself independently; second, the identity is the way how a women defines who she is, which matters more than any other outside effects; third, women decide to have a certain kind of sexuality in order to prove their defined identities.
When women’s desires are less worthy of concern or not worthy of concern at all, it becomes evident that the hookup culture promotes women being used as a tool or a means to an end for male satisfaction. According to the Kantian moral theory, the culture is immoral because the woman is no longer being respected. The ambiguity of the hookup culture couple with societal effects of inegalitarian porn, according to Eaton’s “A Sensible Anti-Porn Feminist” and power imbalances in the sexes creates a culture that fosters rape. Women are placed in predicaments where they have to give in to pushy, coercive behavior by men who want to go further than the women intends to. Even if a woman feels liberated by participating in the hookup culture, that doesn’t mean she wants to go all the way, with every partner, every time. The objectification of women and rape are two serious and harmful effects of the hookup culture.
“Sex and the Social Dance” was a streaming video which examined the sexuality of social dances around the world. Regardless of geographical location or decade of popularity, dance conveyed social values. In particular, the sexuality was expressed through physical contact or lack thereof, in the gender roles of the dance, and in the purpose of the dance.
In the documentary ‘Paris Burning '(1990)which explores elements of drag culture, a notable In the ball scene they perform gender trying to recognise ‘Realness a key scene that represents several stereotypes that help us identify the type of person we are and how we are perceived performing like a ‘Real women ' or a ‘real man ' being able to blend in with society this is an interesting idea as the people who are seen as an outcast in society are performing what is considered the ‘norm ' amongst the general society. A key point made with this is that people can blend and conform to norms if they want to but choose to defy
The concept of hegemonic masculinity is criticized for being framed within hetero-normative conception of gender that divides male-female difference and ignores difference and exclusion within the gender categories. Through this theory, many heterosexual and homosexual individuals find their sexual identities through their moral beliefs about their sexual behaviors and dictate whether they are virgin or non-virgin. With the flexibility about virginity loss and the different meanings of what it is being a virgin revolves around complexity, therefore we cannot give a set description of the sexual identity of virginity because of our multiple acts of coitus and sexualities such as gay, lesbian, or bisexual sexual behaviors. The reason why I propose this is because with the given different types of coitus, and dependent on the social group and social factors that play within the role of identity is far more difficult to come to an exact meaning of considering who and what makes you a virgin or non-virgin.
The superiority men assume over women paves an imbalance on social encounters and the way women are treated. The stereotypical roles men and women are meant to follow has allowed several unjust issues of sexual wrongdoings to remain changeless for years. The archetype that men must be strong, successful and powerful idols has brought the ideals of women to be the complete opposite delicate, dependent, and loving. Although the characteristics of the manhood and womanhood are harmless and somewhat realistic, they have evolved this inequality in the way women are treated. Objectification is treating someone as an object and taking ownership over that person to carry out sexual desires. Men are treating women as if they can be objectified which
Some of the games that we see at baby showers in today’s day and age were brought about at this time. These games were used as a combination of preparation for the baby and also to bring the future mothers into the mindset of adolescents and a reminder of what they have in store for them. The chair that the mothers to be sit in while opening gifts and other important events at the shower were also typically decorated in an extravagant way to bring them back to virginity or the idea of innocence, while preparing them for their transition to a uniformed communal state of motherhood that they will soon share with most of the guest in attendance. While not all guests were required to be mothers themselves, same as in today’s society, it was expected that the women in attendance were all at an age where they could understand the significance of childbirth and participate in the games and appreciate the gifts that were being given to the mother to