The End Of Sex Summary

The End of Sex: Ignorance of the Female Empowerment

Donna Freitas in The End of Sex gives her thoughts on how hookup culture is affecting specifically college students. Her judgment comes out of a space where she wants, “to empower them (participants in hookups) to seek the kinds of relationships they want…” (16). Though her perspective comes from a good place, her argument has points that are shaming, archaic, dismissive, and one sided. Her argument seems to be that of a pro-woman stance at times, neglecting one of the key feminism ideals of choice. Freitas uses patriarchal arguments to back up her ideas, tarnishing her perspectives that come off as woman empowering. The book, The End of Sex, neglects to be conscious of female independence

and liberation through today’s sex positive society, through perpetuating archaic views on female sexuality.
One of the causes of so many tribulations Freitas and the students interviewed comes out of lack of education or awareness. There is also a continuation of social shaming that occurs throughout the text. Freitas speaks to one student about her “gender regulating” other girls because of their chosen sexual promiscuity. “’Well, I wonder why? You just slept with him, and you do that a lot. ‘” (23). Throughout history women have been shamed because of their sexuality, which has been continued by the patriarchal views of the devaluing of one through sex. If women shame other women, it is out of a lack of education on being a decent human being to begin with; second, it’s out of the social ideal that we must police one another because a woman shouldn’t be overtly sexual in society. There is a lack of education on the hypocrisy of double standards. There is also a lack of understanding that virginity is a social construct that is used to regulate one’s sexuality till marriage. Virginity is divisive and creates unnecessary expectations and shame. “Despite so much confusion about what virginity is and what is means to lose it, teens and young adults care deeply about how it is defined and who they are in relation to it…” (120). There is a continuation of anxiety designed around this imaginative concept. A lack of education on the idea of virginity as a concept can create much unneeded hostility towards sex, which can be detrimental to people’s future intimate relationships. There is also a lack of awareness between consenting participants in hookup culture and emotional, intellectual, and physical abuse. She uses a statistic, “Yet, most common of all among the respondents were the 41 percent of students who expressed sadness and even despair about hooking up.” (12). This seems like more of a peer pressure/ emotional abuse issue that could arise in any form of intimacy. The idea of hookup culture should become separated from a string of forced interactions, to a consenting sexual movement. Peer pressure should be taken into consideration, but is another issue at hand. One’s lack of education to be aware of social practices and to possibly opt out of engaging in them should be considered. Education and awareness should be considered in sharing one’s opinion on a social issue.
Another issue is the difference between indifference versus choice.

One of the points Freitas makes in the beginning of the book is, “The rise and “progress” of hookup culture rests in the fact that young adults are simply getting better at being uncaring.” (13). Is it “uncaring” of the active independence of choice to engage in hookups without the shame? Women for centuries have been sexually repressed by societal pressures, so when they choose to become liberated from the shame, they are met with the idea that they are ambivalent to sex. She says that hookup culture hinders people from becoming successful in her terms, “ We cannot encourage our students and children to become whole, integrated, empowered, and virtuous people if we fail to adequately address hookup culture and to articulate how it works against these goals.” (15). So, not only does it make people “uncaring” to Freitas, it also somehow discredits your capability to be successful. Those ideas sound very much like the rhetoric used on women for centuries to defuse their empowerment. She also includes, “Ultimately, we need to empower them to seek the kinds of relationships they want…”(16). Freitas neglects to acknowledge that some women might want to engage in hookups and not desire a relationship in the traditional sense. There is constant ignorance of choice behind sexuality and expression, confused with a lack of

caring.
A chapter in the book addresses porn and porn inspired parties. She goes into the dynamics in porn describing women as, “powerless, submissive, and, most of all, dependent on him for something.” (79). What is seemingly a “male sexual fantasy”, is actually a fictional situation between two consenting adults in an occupation driven by choice. Freitas doesn’t acknowledge that behind this fictional scene, is a woman that had the choice to go into that industry and make money. There are woman that enjoy being in the porn industry and feel empowered because, those that seem to be in a “submissive” situation are actually the ones that are in control of what happens. There are extensive porn shooting etiquette that is followed because of guidelines and laws. She neglects to see how being in one of the biggest money making industries could be empowering to women. She also addresses the porn inspired parties that are held on many campuses. Freitas seems to be coming from a somewhat feminist perspective, but ultimately tells the women that them feeling empowered by being confident in showing their bodies off is wrong of them. “Even if the women throw the parties, their roles remain the subservient ones, with the themes, depending on porn scenarios that cater to men.” (82). Though for some that may be true, but there is no recognition to the women that may have that as their sexual fantasy as well. “Theme parties provide an oasis of shame-free and guilt-free activity…” (85). To put it in sardonic terms, God forbid someone especially a woman feel guilt free about acting on their sexual desires.
Despite Freita’s effort to give a somewhat feminist argument against hookup culture, she neglects to think about some of the biggest aspects of feminism, ending institutionalized shame in regards to sex, and the freedom of choice. Her argument against sex culture uses the exact rhetoric used to shame women for centuries in regards to their sexual exploration. There is a complete disregard to the positive aspects of choice, lack of shame, liberation, and empowerment through hookup culture. Her argument sounds like it is straight out of opposition to the sexual revolution in the 1960’s and the second wave of feminism, which occurred concurrently during the 60’s and into the 70’s. The lack of regard to the empowerment of female liberation through this new age of sex positivity is ignorance to education, sex politics, and feminist ideals. The book, The End of Sex, neglects to be conscious of female independence and liberation through today’s sex positive society, through perpetuating archaic views on female sexuality.