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Overcoming homesickness essay
Overcoming homesickness essay
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In eighth grade I made the decision to take the risk of trading in my queen size bed and baby blanket for a twin bed and a complete stranger for a roommate. I came from a small private school located in New Haven, Connecticut that is called The Foote School. I was used to the things people at my school enjoyed like recess, gym class, and soccer. For me, the routine was the same. Everyday I would pack lunch in my lunch box, get Dunkin Doughnuts for breakfast, and scramble to finish my math homework on the twenty five minute car ride to school. The days were almost effortless. I always knew what I had to do and when I had to do it because everyone was constantly reminding me because, after all, I was just a middle schooler. When I was little, whenever we used to drive through New Hampshire, we would stop at the Tilton Diner, or as I called it “that place with the good milkshakes”. To be quite honest, I never actually knew that I was in New Hampshire when I would go to the diner; someone could’ve …show more content…
The people there are all I had ever known. Most of the 52 kids in my class had been going to school with me since kindergarten which as you can imagine, created a very strong bond between us all; those kids were my best friends. About half of those kids ended up staying for 9th grade as I had always dreamed I would do. As for the rest of us twenty five, 20 went to Hopkins day school or became day students at Choate which had also been a plan of mine. However, the last five, we ended up at Andover, Hotchkiss, Proctor, Loomis Chaffee and Holderness. I took a risk by deciding to leave, however, I took an even bigger risk deciding to take my own path away from all of my friends being the only one who chose Holderness. No one in my eighth grade class had ever even heard of Holderness. I knew that by choosing Holderness and secluding myself, I would lose my closest friends. As the past three years have gone by, my prediction has come
I was so ashamed of my physical appearance and nostalgic of my senior year of high school, that I isolated myself from the majority of the people I’d met. I started binge watching Netflix in my dorm room, making frequent trips to a nearby dermatologist and crying to my mom and friends from home about how I hated school and wanted to transfer ASAP. I was cold, lonely and ugly. I couldn’t wait for winter break so I could forget about my sucky dorm and lack of college friends for a while.
It was the fall of 2010 and little did I know that my world was about to change drastically. We had moved back to Kenosha, Wisconsin in 2008 after living in Mexico, and I was starting to enjoy my life in the dairy state. My 6th Grade classes had just started at Bullen Middle School. It was right at this time when my world seemingly got flipped upside down. My parents had a family meeting and informed my siblings and me that we were moving to a small Iowa town called Orange City. I had feelings of nervousness, excitement, and sadness all mixed together.
I left that project feeling extremely aware and extremely at peace. After three years of struggling to find answers, happiness, and a sense of purpose, I began to appreciate my present state of mind. I began to revel in the struggle, confusion, and push of not knowing. And as I approached graduation, my high school experience suddenly made sense to me. I understood life as a system of games. High school was simply one of them. I came to realize that playing games was both understandable and necessary as long as we are aware that we are playing them. I realized that a major struggle throughout high school had been my struggle to resist playing its game. I spent my three years at boarding school governed by my passions rather than playing by the rules of the institution. And in refusing to play by its rules, I made it increasingly more difficult for me to function within its realm.
Maybe it’s the fact that I tend to stay in my room all weekend, which leads to people thinking I’m studying when in reality I am probably binge watching a TV show or maybe it’s my glasses, but most people who don’t know me too well assume that I am smart. Now that is a great thing for me because I don’t have to try as hard to impress them, but I end up finding myself in a bit of a problem. The problem is that everyone thinks I enjoy admiring school textbooks. But the truth is I’m usually admiring my Justin Bieber poster on my bedroom wall. Ever since I was in sixth grade I’ve been a huge fan of Bieber. His music always brought a feeling of calmness and back in the day his “never say never” motto, was what I lived by. I might still be living by that motto because I’ve decided to write this essay
Lunch time came around and so did a handful of new feelings. I walked into the lunchroom with anticipation and feeling of nerves of where I was going to sit. I purposely took extra time so I wouldn't be the first but also not the last to sit down. When I ambitiously walked into the lunch room I looked around and saw everyone sitting by the people they had previously attended grade school with. My heart sank with the realization that I was the only one from my grade school because I had previously attended public school while the other kids attend small, private grade schools that feed into one high school. I someone walked over to another cheerleader in the grade above who I had known had gone to public school to and was just another misfit, I asked to sit and she said yes. I felt like Luis Valdez, sitting alone in the reality I created for myself, “Only this reality is real now, only this place is real, sitting in the lonely cell of your will...” For the rest of the lunch I played on my phone and attempted to talk to the two friends I had left from my previous
I can remember sitting in class, feeling eyes burning through me, dodging inquisitive glances from all sides, and anxiously awaiting the bell to ring for lunchtime. As most people know, lunch is the most dreaded part of the first day at a new school. First day of school memories are still fairly vivid for me; my father was in the JAG corps in the Army and my family moved with biannual regularity. In fact, I even attended three different high schools. While this may seem highly undesirable to some, I learned an incredible amount about myself, the world, and other people through movement that I may never have learned otherwise.
Let’s flash back in time to before our college days. Back to then we had lunch trays filled with rubbery chicken nuggets, stale pizza, and bags of chocolate milk. A backpack stacked with Lisa Frank note books, flexi rulers, and color changing pencils. The times where we thought we wouldn’t make it out alive, but we did. Through all the trials and tribulations school helped build who I am today and shaped my future. From basic functions all the way to life-long lessons that helped shape my character.
My parents sensed my troubles and we moved. Adjusting to a new high school took time. It was not easy making new friends and I continued to be lost. These incidents weighed heavily on my mind. My anguished heart refused to see beyond my own woes. A recent disturbing incident changed my purview of life.
Growing up, I always felt out of place. When everyone else was running around in the hot, sun, thinking of nothing, but the logistics of the game they were playing. I would be sat on the curb, wondering what it was that made them so much different from me. To me, it was if they all knew something that I didn’t know, like they were all apart of some inside joke that I just didn’t get. I would sit, each day when my mind wasn’t being filled with the incessant chatter of my teachers mindlessly sharing what they were told to, in the hot, humid air of the late spring and wonder what I was doing wrong. See, my discontent
After grade 3 ended, my parents told me we were moving to a new area which meant I would have to go to a new school. Boy, was I happy. A new chapter of life would begin. I was an A student at Lynnwood heights and I was very social. There was absolutely nothing to worry about. Or so I thought. When school started, I was completely caught by surprise. I had no idea what my teachers were teaching me. My teacher was exceptionally strict and it didn’t help I had no friends early on. They probably thought I was stupid because I couldn't even solve the simplest questions, I eventually learned why it was very different at Kennedy Public school. Lynnwood Heights was ranked 2000 in the province while my new school, Kennedy was ranked
Going to bed crying every night isn’t exactly how you would picture your freshman year of highschool. It is supposed to be this fresh start with new friends, teachers, and an abundance of opportunities. This was not the case for me, in my first year of high school waking up had become one of the hardest tasks I would do on a daily basis. Simple tasks such as waking up and walking out of bed had become something that I was physically unable to do. Irving, Texas wasn’t the most eventful place the live in, but I wouldn’t be the person I am today without all of the resources I have utilized here.
The last words a teenager wants to hear is that she must move for the fifteenth time in her life, this time an hour and a half away from her beloved high school. This was what I was told the summer before my junior year because my mom, after having worked difficult, low paying jobs for years, finally got a decent paying job that she enjoyed. She’d already been commuting for a few months, an hour and a half each way everyday. My small family decided we’d be alright with moving away from our little town of Anacortes, but I made the decision for myself that I would not change to a new high school because of the deep connection I shared with my teachers and friends. I truly felt like my teachers cared about my education more than I’d ever experienced, and I didn’t want to give away those connections.
The way I see things is that it takes one person to change another person’s day. Whether it’s by making them smile or telling them an inspirational story. It can be easy or it can be hard trying to accommodate one’s need for a different outgoing in a day.
It was the second semester of fourth grade year. My parents had recently bought a new house in a nice quite neighborhood. I was ecstatic I always wanted to move to a new house. I was tired of my old home since I had already explored every corner, nook, and cranny. The moment I realized I would have to leave my old friends behind was one of the most devastating moments of my life. I didn’t want to switch schools and make new friends. Yet at the same time was an interesting new experience.
It was Christmas break, the last time I marched out of the old, soot-streaked building that was my high school. I recollect that day well since it was probably one the most momentous moments of my life. The other students streamed gleefully out the door to jumpstart their holidays, their ineluctable return in the a fortnight seeming distant. Unlike them, I wasn’t ever coming back. I had taken a second to evoke at the school and let myself embrace the consequentiality of that moment. I was moving, in the very middle of my freshman year, and I had felt as if my life would never be identically