Unexpected Joy: My School Lottery Journey

I know when something life changing happens, you normally remember exactly what happened and where you were when it did. For me it’s mostly all a vague.

It all started when my dad put my name into the lottery without informing me. We’d discussed it the year prior, and I’d know that he was pretty intent on putting my name in, he just didn’t inform me when he actually put my in the lottery. I remember finding out that he put my name in a few months later. At first I wasn’t sure how I felt about it: A new school, new friends, the difficulty.

After that I tried thinking about it, I mean really think about it. I started considering my options; the pros and cons, of each school. The time flew by too quickly, and before I knew it the we had the results of the lottery. I remember sitting on the couch when I got the email saying I was accepted. I remember being so joyful!

Right after I darted upstairs to tell my mother of the news: she was thrilled, too. After the delight settled, it really sunk in that I now had to decide. It wasn’t just an after though anymore. It was real now.

At this point I realized that I would have to tell my friends. I told Taylor first, because I was too frightened to tell Kaylee. Taylor surprisingly responded way better than I expected. My strong-headed, stubborn Polynesian girl, looked at me with her golden brown eyes, and told me I should go - She told me to go! I couldn’t comprehend what just happened; couldn’t get my head wrapped around the idea that Taylor who was as stubborn as her curly hair, told me to go. Although Taylor had risen my hopes I realized that I would eventually have to face the inevitable. I would have to talk to Kaylee.

This encounter went exactly as I had expected earlier. The girl who was normally so full of laughter was the exact opposite. This new freckled face girl standing it front of me, was not for the idea of me attending a new school. She couldn’t even comprehend why I’d want to. My easy-going best friend was now acting like Taylor. Even though I knew she wouldn’t want me to go. I hadn’t expected them to switch personalities. This was strange.

As the time fly by Kaylee begged me not to go, and Taylor encouraged me. Personally I wanted to go, but Kaylee was making me unsure, and it wasn’t just Kaylee. It was Christian, Jocelyn, Maddi, even Ethan. Taylor was the only one who fully supported me.

Finally the meeting came, and along with it my chance to learn more about this mysterious school. My plan had been to absorb all the new information they give me and to fast about it over the weekend, nevertheless that clearly had not been they’re plan.

From the minute I sat down in the cold hard plastic seats, all I saw around me where unfamiliar faces. My future classmates. When all of a sudden my attention is directed to the woman standing at the microphone telling us about the wonders of her mysterious school, but what stuck out the most was- You have an hour to make up your mind. This threw me into shock. I hadn’t planned for this new curve ball, I’d planned on fasting that weekend. But apparently that was a luxury I was without.

Now I was truly petrified. It felt like I’d been thrown into the freezing ocean without a way to escape. The faces around me now seemed to have piercing eyes that demand to know what my choose would be. This left me extremely distracted and I couldn’t concentrate on even the simplest things. So how was I suppose to make this big life changing decision. Before I knew it I’d run out of time.
In that moment I had to decide. You’d think I’d put some thought into all my options and how the outcome would effect me. But at the last moment I made this important decision the same way I make all my decisions. I get a moment of pure courage, and I choose to walk down the scarier path, with rugged uneven ground,bare trees, and the feeling of fear hung in the air. Nevertheless I pick the unknown, and just like that I take a leap of faith and I don’t look back.

I went home feeling as though I was on cloud nine. My mother makes me call every relative we know, they’re all so excited for me. It felt as though I was higher then the stars in the sky and that nothing could reach me there. Until Kaylee’s freckled face pop into my head, I feel the sudden weight of gravity pulling me back down. Thats when I decided I’ll only tell her if she asks.  Monday rolls around and I’m scared to see Kaylee, once again. I try to pull my emotions together when she asks me “How’d the meeting go?”. Oh Crap she-asked-me-how-it-went does that mean I have to tell her I’m not going to Westlake. My head was spinning, no it was reeling. Before I could think about what I was doing I blurted out “It went good.” “So what’d you decide?” she responded. Now I had to tell her right? What would happen if I casually walked away? No she’d catch up to me. I’d have to run, but even as I started to imagine that outcome I knew it’d never work. I’ll just tell her and get it over with. “I’m going to ucas,” I stuttered. I couldn’t even look her in the eyes, I was so panic-stricken. Although now I can’t even remember how she responded back to me. All I know is that everyone accepted my decision even though they didn’t fully agree with it. To this day they still inform me that I can change my mind and come back to them.

Then school ended, summer began and I didn’t see them again, I was so busy.

Which meant school was just an after thought in my mind. This also meant that my new school wasn’t a reality- until I had to register. Suddenly the reality of my decision fell onto me. I was so nervous.

We went inside and everyone seemed so nice. I went to picked out a locker, the whole time my stomach felt like it was dripping with tar. It was nothing close to the magical butterfly feeling you get where you feel off but it tickles. I felt ill. All week the feeling got worse and worse as the first day of school got closer and closer. When he first day of school finally came around I felt uneasy, but it I slowly became more comfortable as the day progressed.

This life changing experience had taught me an important lesson. It’s taught me that I can’t let others opinions taint my decision’s, because in the end it’s my choose and I’m the one who has to live with the outcomes. Not only that I’ve also learned that sometimes scary’s good and if you learn to welcome it you never know what will happen as a

result.