Personal Narrative: How My Hearing Changed My Life

Every day for the past 2 years I think about why I lost my hearing. My life changed dramatically that day. My hearing loss has been a big impact on my life. I remember the day because it was my sons 11th birthday.

That morning, I began my regular routine; cooking, cleaning and setting things up for my son's birthday party. I began to feel pressure in my ears like if I was on a plane that reached a high altitude. By that evening my ears were blocked and the sounds around me were very faint. I was like a hypersensitive sound. I went Kaiser a couple of days later to try to get a walk-in in appointment, but instead received an assumption that I had wax build up, and was advised to buy a wax removing fluid. As days went by and I had no improvement I rack my brains on what could have happened.

Spending time with my family became harder to do with; with them asking questions, engaging in conversation with me, my son would call my name, my phone was ringing, but I could not make out what anyone was saying or hear my phone.

My hearing loss was overwhelming. It really was hard on me because not hearing my son was something I could not comprehend.

I was stressed and overwhelmed with anxiety. I was panicking and felt isolated. How could I possibly be a mom with my hearing as diminished as it was? I sobbed with raged and sank into a deep depression as the days went by. So I went to the emergency room where they implied that I had fluid buildup inside my ear and could have been from a cold I had or allergies. And was told to go home and let the fluid dry up, which could take up to 3 months.

The thought of not hearing for 3 months was overwhelming for me, so I visited an ear, nose, and throat doctor 2 weeks later. And they check my ears and found no fluid inside, now I'm confused. A hearing test confirmed the worst. I was told that hearing was gone and hearing aids would most likely not help. What made it even harder was that they said my hearing never get

better.

I struggled every day, pretending to myself that the doctors were wrong. I’m a not a good lip reader, which made it even harder for me. I am so clueless about my hearing loss. I was embarrassed to have lost my hearing at such a young age. I hide my hearing aids and I try my hardest to make out what is being say to me. It's even hard on my family because it is just as new to them as it is to me. When I think about my impairment I get a great deal of sadness.

When I have to go out and conversing is required I have to bring my son just so he can repeat was said to me. I have encountered people that become frustrated because I constantly have to ask them to repeat themselves. It's as if no one understands me when I tell them I am hearing impaired. I guess they assume that all hearing-impaired people have no speech as well.

It is still taking my family time to accept the fact that I can no longer hear as well as I did. I seem to always get "Oh never mind you can't hear me" I find myself engaging in conversations less and less every day, because I become more depressed that in a matter of hours I went from hearing everything to hearing nothing. And as of today, I refuse to believe that this is permanent.

This misfortunate has truly impacted my life, but I refuse to let it define it.