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Growing up as a child essay
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Growing up as a child essay
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Growing up I was a very naive and straightforward kid who believe that the world is a wonderful place filled with opportunities. I was a dreamer living in my own little, ideal fantasy. Of course, life is not a straight line that will carry you from point A to point B. It is a road filled with curves, hills, and holes that sucks you into a never ending cycle of disappointment. Elementary school was where my dream crashed and burned. I expected friends and fun, but all I got was rejections and discrimination. “Be mature”, a constant phrase that creeps out of my beloved parents mouth. It is like a venomous snake striking my weakest point. It is not that I should be mature. I never had a choice but to be mature in order to survive the harsh reality
Maturity is not a fickle expression such as happiness or frustration, but rather an inherent quality one gains over time, such as courage or integrity. Before maturity can be expressed, the one who expresses it must have significant confidence in himself, since self-confidence is the root of maturity. Being flexible and formulating one's own opinions or ideas are aspects of maturity, but neither is possible without self-confidence. The greatest aspect of maturity is the ability to make decisions which society does not agree with. Whether or not one follows through with these ideas is not important. What is important is the ability to make the decision. These decisions represent the greatest measure of maturity.
Growing up is never easy, and neither is change. I often find these as consistent variables that can build up a city in the middle of a devastation, or create a wasteland from a utopia. All of us relate to “coming of age”.
Can I love? Can I be loved? Am I worthy of love? I am a woman who experienced the anguish of love-loss at a very tender age and these questions capture my prime concern and fear in life. At a young age, I bore the brunt of neglect and abuse from the very caregivers who were supposed to be my protectors. At the age of 16, I was put into foster care. I have experienced tumultuous and dysfunctional intimate relationships in my search for love, connectivity and identity. Now, as a mother, I am learning to give the love I never got.
Growing up for me some would say it was rather difficult and in some ways I would agree. There have been a lot of rough times that I have been through. This has and will affect my life for the rest of my life. The leading up to adoption, adoption and after adoption are the reasons my life were difficult.
Now, that I am older and more mature, I can do the things I have always wanted to do as well as the things I never knew I wanted to do. I can do without authority; I can do without a plan, but all within reason. I can get a job to earn money, and know not to do it away. I can live on my own with said money, but all I could afford is a dismal apartment. At this point, I am all but disillusioned by what I thought was freedom. Though still with my goals, they know longer seem to fit. What I Iooked forward to, I would rather not see.
For me, driving a car, going to Europe, graduating, and having a job have all contributed to my maturity. I have to make life and death choices every day while driving, and my choices affect other’s lives- and that bring a lot of maturity. I went to Europe basically by myself, with no parent there to hold my hand. I had to make good choices, be safe and be mature while I was half way across the world from my parents. I am graduating this year as well. After this summer I am going to college, being a real “adult” and I will be able to make my own choices. Maturity will help me keep my head on straight while I am being my own boss. For the past two years I have held the same job. This job has taught me responsibility, how to deal with money and people and basic life skills. If I were not mature I would not be able to hold a job for that long.
I was taught that I could go far in life just by respecting myself and the people around me. The most important social value that I was taught is how to be successful. My parents made sure to teach me that nothing in life is free, and if I want something I have to grind and go get it. My peers have taught me a few things too. A cultural value that my peers have embedded in me is that I have to have tough skin and that not everybody will accept me for who I am, and who I want to become. A social value taught to me by people my age is that life is a big competition. There is a limited amount of spaces at the top of the pyramid of life, and everybody is racing and scrounging to get a spot, so if I want to make it to the top, I have learned that I have to work quicker and smarter than my fellow man. When or rather if I ever decide to have children, I want my kids to know that taking the elevator is not always better than taking the stairs. What I mean by that is in life some people will take the fast route to the top, but the learning experience that one can obtain from gradual success means so much more. I want my children to understand that they will never appreciate up unless they have been
Back in High School I could not even see myself pursuing any goals that I had set. I got pregnant at sixteen, and decided to drop out of school so I could work full-time to support my family. Needless to say, my mom was not happy. She had worked so hard for my future. I realized the only way to ensure my family’s future was through higher education. Knowing that was the key factor to happiness I enrolled at SCALE (an adult program from Somerville High School). Currently I have a rewarding job working in a Day Care for Catholic Charities. I help kids learn about the world through play. For me, that has been about as close to “right livelihood” as I have ever enjoyed.
Ever sense I was a little girl I was compared to my other siblings. I was told whenever I was unable to accomplish something at its greatest that at least "I was pretty" and hearing that as a kid is something that you don't forget. It's something that sticks with you for the rest of your life. When I think about growing up I remember how tough school was for me. I know I wasn't the kid that had straight A's. But I was a kid that attended school every single day and tried my hardest. And to most families that would be enough. But what I did was never enough.
Growing up as a kid I had no sense of the real world. I woke up, went to school every day, and saw the same kids I saw every single day for 12 years. Life didn’t change a whole lot while being a kid. Yeah I had my experience with death, personal mistakes, and “hardships” along the road to transform me into to where I am now. Everything that I have seen in my life made me the man I am today, and good or bad I am forever grateful for that. It only makes sense I give a little background of myself before I start talking about the emergence of becoming my adulthood. I grew up in a primarily white middle-class neighborhood that was filled with kids that worked a hell of a lot harder than I did. Starting elementary school I was loud, obnoxious, and
I joined a few clubs, actually worked for school, and most importantly, I actually learned in high school. As my identity, age, and therefore the criticism that is my shadow, was temporarily concealed, I was the happiest I have ever been. I had practically transformed from a shy girl without a clue about the real world to an assertive woman who took charge of her life. I started making decisions for myself, right and wrong, but they made me a person. I believe that a person is made up experiences and choices; up until that point I made no choices for myself nor did I have any experiences. Those experiences made me, for all intents and purposes, a person with a personality, likes, dislikes, and a whole lot of mistakes. Those mistakes, though, are what make me who I want to be. Academically, I am learning things. I actually have a reason to pay attention in class. I got my first B and, honestly, I have never been happier. I earned that grade and I have earned every one since. Sure there are teachers who told me to my face that I was making a big mistake and that it was a stupid decision, but it was worth it. I believe that I became who I dreamed I would would become as a
Everyone knows that being young means being naive about certain parts of life. Most children can't wait to get older, to be more mature, and to have unlimited freedom. Of course, adults also encourage maturity and growth. Growing up is always glorified, but I don't think that maturing is as grand as some people might say. Throughout my own experiences, I've found that the perfect optimism of my youth isn't what it used to be. When I look a little closer at who I used to be and who I am now sometimes I can barely recognize myself.
Ah! I see you have come to hear my story. Well, I warn you now; I am advanced in years and might forget some parts. My story is filled with adventure, new beginnings, and confusion. But enough! I will begin.
All throughout my young life I was told that you have to go to school, you have to do this and that, it was never what I wanted to do. Being the oldest child, grandchild, and niece everyone expected more from me. They expected me to do better than them. My mom expected me to be better than she ever was. My grandmother like most grandparents thought I was good as gold and didn’t do any wrong. My boyfriend expected great things from me. My aunts always said go to college.
I never really thought about where my life was going. I always believed life took me where I wanted to go, I never thought that I was the one who took myself were I wanted to go. Once I entered high school I changed the way I thought. This is why I chose to go to college. I believe that college will give me the keys to unlock the doors of life. This way I can choose for myself where I go instead of someone choosing for me.