Personal Narrative: Can Robert Ross Recognise His Home

Robert Ross cannot recognise his hometown and even the world he lives in. How can someone not recognise his home? I can recognise my hometown every time I go back, no matter how many years I have left there. It possible only when someone’s hometown has dramatically changed (or ruined). The World War ruins every single place. Robert Ross cannot recognise his home not only because the place is destroyed, his connection to his hometown is cut off as well. Timothy Findley discusses the tremendous impact on the world of the horrible World War. I always feel thankful that I do not live in an era where my home would be destroyed. Everyone lives in the World War would be a victim.
Mrs. Ross is telling Robert that everyone should and must be independent. At my first glance, I thought Mrs. Ross was heartless because she let Robert join the war and it may risk his life. But I then realised that Mrs. Ross’s anger toward Robert is not hatred but love. When people face conflicts that force them to choose the way that contradicts to their aspirations, they tend to vent anger on somebody else. In Mrs. Ross’s case, there is no way to make Robert stay with her, and she knows that Robert will face danger (or even death) if he joins war. So on one hand, she acknowledges the fact that Robert wants to leave her, and she cannot bear this fact so she gets

angry at him; one the other hand, she tells both Robert and herself that “no one belongs to anyone”, so she has to let Robert go if he is willing to. Knowing that she lacks the power to keep anyone alive, Mrs. Ross tries to get rid of Robert in her mind as she says “you can go to hell” (“I don’t care about you anymore, die if you want!”). But it is just not possible for her to forget Robert, like she cannot forget about Rowena. This huge conflict between loving her son and letting him leave to face danger makes it impossible for Mrs. Ross to reveal her emotion in a peace way.
Considering the environment of this scene, the conflict between childhood and adulthood has been emphasised very clearly to the readers. Mrs. Ross steps into the bathroom while she is smoking a cigarette and carrying an empty wine class. These two things represent adulthood whereas Robert is in a bathtub, like a baby in his mother’s womb, warm and safe. There is signifiant comparison between Robert’s kid-like figure and his mother’s cold-and-grown character. As the quote states, Robert hates his mother when she uses his childhood, he thinks his mother is using his childhood to attack him or to say “I am a grown-up, I know the world better than you”, especially when Robert does not believe what she does is right and when he thinks he is mature enough.
I always feel the same way Robert does. I want to argue when my mother sees me as a kid. “I’m not! I know what to do” I say that a lot when she tells me what to do, and every time she tells me that she is sophisticated and I should listen to her, my reaction is just like what Timothy Findley describes, “‘No.’ Beat. ‘Thank you.’” But I have never really thought maybe she was right. Moreover, Mrs. Ross does not come to insult Robert, she shows her love and care when she tells the story.
Robert soaks in the bathtub in his bathroom, a place where his privacy should not be invaded by anyone else, but Mrs.

Ross does. Her irruption makes an emotional impact on Robert, which lets him question in his mind: “why are you here?” This is one of the themes that Timothy Findley reveals in this novel: private vs. public. Another example is: Robert’s willingness of joining the army is generated by his sister’s death, and he wants to run away from guilt. However, he does not save his sister’s life because he is masturbating in his bedroom. The deed itself is a private action, and this private action pushes him to go into the

public.
This quotation reminds me how I dislike other people invade my privacy, no matter who and no matter for what reason. I can imagine that if someone, even if a close family member, invades my privacy, I would have a strong feeling of getting away from him or her. For example, every time I use my computer to complete my projects, my mother always walks in and ask me if I am playing games. One second before, I was thinking and doing my works; the next second, I will have to explain that I am working. Like Robert, my thoughts will always “stutter and shuffle to a halt”. Furthermore, in Robert’s case, as he runs away from his family to maintain his privacy, he will have to be exposed in the public, and since he is socially awkward, the struggle of maintaining privacy and becoming sophisticated has grown even more intense.
Robert Ross is introduced in the prologue of the book, and we can see one of the biggest themes throughout the novel: human’s connection to animals. It is evident that in the story, animals sometimes hold more “humanity” than human beings. In the prologue, “[the horse] threw her head up and whinnied. Other horses answered from inside the car.” The horse is waiting for her companions to go together and she cares about her companions. Her action juxtaposes to what human beings are doing: fighting, committing violent deeds. The horse acts more “civilized” than the men (although men always believe that they are more civilized). On the other hand, at this moment, Robert has no other human companions, by staying with the horses and a dog, Robert experiences a feeling of unprecedented peace and freedom, which he never experiences in human society.
When I stay with animals and isolate myself from other people, animals do not judge me and I do not have to say what they want to hear and act as what they want me to be. I can express my true-self. Life is peaceful and simple with animals, so I think the animals that appear in this story symbolize peace and nature. They hold the deepest nature that human beings should have, such as pursuing for freedom and freely express one’s self. But those natures are lost in the war by people’s violent deeds.