Personal Essay: Moving To California

Before you begin reading the main narrative of my essay, I want to let you in on some details about my life and myself. I was born in Manhattan, New York and when I was about twenty two days old, I boarded a plane with my parents on a journey across the United States to the city of San Francisco, then to the town of Grass Valley. This is where my grandmother and grandfather resided. They had been telling my parents that the city of Manhattan was no place to raise a child and that we should move to California and live with them. Before making this life changing decision of leaving most of their friends and loved ones in New York to come to California, my parents sent me off to live in India with my uncle. Keep in mind, I was about the age of two when this all happened. The opportunity of leaving me with my uncle gave my parents about a year to think things over and pull themselves together, in efforts to properly raise a child in a country that was so

unfamiliar to them, seeing that they are Tibetan immigrants.
I do not remember much of living with my uncle due to the fact that I was just a toddler, but I do remember some details from the times I went back to visit. After my parents had figured some things out, found a house and a somewhat sturdy job in the small town of Bolinas, they brought me back to the States. From then on, my mother occasionally took me out of school for months at a time, usually from the end of January to the beginning of March around the time of Tibetan New Year, to go back and visit india. The time that I visited India in which I remember the most, was when I was in third grade. This was specifically because my mom thought I was old enough to temporarily attend school in India, despite the fact I begged her not to make me go, I was still forced to attend. This is where the real story starts.
While I was in India, I spent a lot of time watching Bollywood movies with my family. If you know Bollywood, you know that they release some of the most over the top movies. You can find movies that are centered around a specific genre but no matter what they will incorporate as much as they can. For example, you can find a horror movie, but it won't just be horror, it will be a romance and comedy film as well. I was obsessed with Bollywood movies and the characters in them, I mean who wasn’t. Bollywood movies and their stars were the talk of the town and when a new movie came out everyone had to see it. As a child, I fell in love with the heros and heroines of the movies but what I found so magnetizing was their appearance of effortlessness when battling the villains and the simplicity of smoking while fighting.
In these Bollywood movies the image of the villains and heroes were portrayed very differently. For a long time, smoking was a vice of the villains. You could see them in movies looking clean cut in their suits, sitting around a table smoking their cigars or cigarettes while planning their malicious attacks. Meanwhile, the heroes spent no time risking their image by smoking. Instead they used their martial arts skills to single handedly fight of a whole gang of bad guys to save a damsel in distress. Eventually, with the influence of western culture and tobacco companies, smoking was no longer seen as the vice of the villains. Bollywood began to incorporate smoking into the image of heroes. You could now find a hero lighting up a cigar or cigarette before fighting a crew of bad guys. This not only contributed to their image of effortless fighting skills but it was in a way thrilling and magnetic. Furthermore, for some reason it added sophistication, attitude and charm to them. Due to this, smoking was no longer seen as wicked or immoral behavior, rather it made people seem more laid back and stylish.
There was no real threatening oppressive force that made smoking magnetic, but as a child, my excuse of an oppressive force was my parents, who I was mad at for forcing me to go to school in India. They disliked smoking and found it vulgar but did not express these feeling towards the rest of our family, since my uncle was a big time smoker. However, they constantly hounded me on it, reminding me again and again that smoking is dangerous and only for degenerates. Nevertheless, I found it enticing. I kept on asking myself questions like, what’s so dangerous about a little cigarette? What’s so harmful about it? Why is it appealing to such a wide crowd, old people, young people, heroes, heroines, villains? And if heroes in movies smoked it, how bad could it really be?
While attending elementary school in India, my cousins and I would usually have to find our own way home. Occasionally when my uncle wasn't busy he would pick us up or a family friend would take us home, but sometimes here and there we would have to walk couple miles home. Now, although february is considered winter in India, it is still very hot and we had to lug our big backpacks under the burning sun in 80-90 degree weather without the shelter of trees. Then, when we finally made it to the home stretch we would stop to buy snacks and drinks. I remember a few times, walking back, my friends or cousins would to to pick up a cigarette from the ground and pretend to smoke it. Now, I know it’s not very hygienic, but I did it as well and honestly I found it funny and entertaining. We would laugh and continue to make the gestures a smoker would, leaning back and pretending to blow smoke from our youthful mouths, not caring if we were spotted by neighbors or elders we knew.
Looking back at this now, I definitely don’t have the same feelings towards smoking.

I can understand why I found it cool, many people did, and still do. There’s some kind of dangerous and risky appeal to it. But, it’s place on my personal pedestals has definitely been replaced by other blooming trends and things I consider cool. There is no strong force still drawing me to smoking cigarettes and i’m thankful for that. Thankful that I listened to my parents and never smoked, and thankful that I wasn’t like some of those children from my hometown in India that actually got addicted. Before, I was drawn to smoking because it was strange and mysterious, yet it had some kind of elegance. Now that i’m more capable of understanding this thing and its side effects, therefore I feel no need to try it. More so, over the years it lost it’s power over me because as multitudes of facts and reports of its negative side effects were released and it became less idolized since more people realized how physically dangerous it

is.