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10 fundamentals of effective communication
Communication skills:quizlet
10 fundamentals of effective communication
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Summary After reading Eric Bartel’s article, “My Problem with Her Anger,” he explains about his kids, his work, and most importantly his marriage. Bartel loves his family and wife very much, but sometimes they argue and he questions his ability to live up to her standards. Insight on an average day in the life of Eric Bartels, he illustrates the dirty dishes in the sink that are his responsibility to clean and put away. He proceeds to explain that before children, not making the bed and leaving dirty clothes on the floor are things that aggravate his wife. Though, once children have been born this aggravation turns into extreme rage. Bartels shares he and his wife do not act out in front of their children unless they are arguing angrily.
Even the most durable substances can fall apart. Marriage, a structure built upon the union of two people for eternity, can be destroyed—especially when the two feel threatened by the inevitable stress and frustration that follows. Eric Bartels, an author for the Portland Tribune, wrote in his article, My Problem With Her Anger, about receiving anger from his wife and his own discontent in his marriage. Bartels establishes his opinion that fundamental differences between men and women can deter marriage, through his use of strands and diction to describe reactions to stress from marriage based on gender; however, with his use of generalizations and loaded language to attack the female audience, his claim is limited.
The article “My problem with her anger” was written by Eric Bartles. It is a first person point of view about the multiple problems he and his wife face while raising a family. The author goes into detail about the domestic problems that arise after having children, while both parents maintain a job. Bartles continues to state the anger his wife projects on him, which he believes is due to his shortcomings. The writer expresses the difficulties of their relationship, and tell readers ultimately no matter how bad things get it, it continued to work.
A normality within typical suburban homes is washing dishes, whether it be following a meal or anytime during the day. Though washing dishes seems to be a simple task, Tobias Wolff’s short story, “Say Yes” proves otherwise. Wolff depicts a typical suburban white couple washing dishes together; however, the topic of race is brought up between the two and clashing viewpoints are shown. Through the use of tone to demonstrate the raising levels of tension, point of view to provide an unbiased depiction of the situation, and domestic details to contrast with the ongoing tension, Wolff expresses the characters and their relationship.
The relationship between the husband and wife seems initially to be perfect. They both show each other expressions of love. There is understanding, harmony, financial security, and good communication between them. The couple spends a lot of time together, discussing future plans, and talking about the good moments they had in the past. However, behind all of this positive interaction between the two of them is something they are both not able
Conversely, the lack of communication and awareness between Vijai and her husband only serves to highlight their differences and to amplify the discord in their marriage. Everyone will face hardship in their lives, and everyone will experience turmoil in their relationship, but the biggest responsibility a married couple has is to try to understand their partner, and to work find a common cause to help them work through the rough
In relationships the adage is often proven. A married couple that argues with each other constantly can seek a marriage counselor for advice. Advice on how to spice up or fix their marriage that is not up to par. However, it is entirely up to the couple to fix the problems the couple has with each other. Perhaps the wife would argue that the husband never washes the dishes, never puts the toilet seat down, and always leaves his dirty clothes in the bathroom. The husband argues that the wife does not work, stays home all day doing nothing, is never in the mood for sex, and the least thing she could have done is, cleaned the house and made dinner by the time he gets home from his work. The counselor can analyze the situation, and suggest that the wife occupy herself by having the house clean and dinner ready when the husband gets home from work. The counselor also suggests that the husband be considerate and pick up his dirty laundry from the bathroom, put the toilet seat back down after using the toilet, wash his utensils after using them and he might get his sexual desires satisfied. The marriage problems might be straightened out if and only if the couple decides to use the advice the marriage counselor offered them. If the husband and wife have too much pride, and/or are too stubborn to change, then their marriage will remain the same. Some people are prideful and put their dignity before everything else, others are stubborn and will not change something that they are accustomed to; therefore getting them to change a habitual action will not be possible.
is the author of numerous scholarly articles on the psychology of women and family relationships, and twelve books, including The New York Times bestseller, The Dance of Anger.
In the book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999) John M. Gottman provides insight on the seven fundamental tools to construct positive relationships. Through long years of research, Gottman studied married couples and noted degenerative behaviors that hindered the formation and attainment of a long and healthy marriage. Gottman research focused on several key behavioral predictors of divorce, which he calls the “The Four Horsemen”; Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
When she had exhausted a torrent of such inquiries, she threw a candlestick at Joe, burst into a loud sobbing, got out the dustpan -- which was always a very bad sign -- put on her coarse apron, and began cleaning up to a terrible extent. Not satisfied with a dry cleaning, she took to a pail and scrubbing-brush, and cleaned us out of house and home, (author’s last name and page #)
I think the reason the initiate the conflict with their spouse and not their children due to them having less interaction with their children and more with their spouse. I also feel like it would cause additional conflict if they “take their anger out” on their children. For instance, it may lead to the children repeating these actions they’ve seen. An additional gender difference in adaptive processes were when men had more heavy workloads at work, they did less work when they arrived home. Similarly, women did the same, however, men did not help the women with their work load when they experienced these types of days. Additionally, this further explains the gender differences in experiences and
Jessica Grose’s article “Cleaning: The Final Frontier” was published by the New Republic in 2013. Grose acknowledges that when it comes to cleaning in a household, the distribution of cleaning is unfair between both gender roles. In the beginning she explains how household chores should be equal between the wife and the husband. She goes into talking about how women work more than their male partners. Grose argues that men do not do enough cleaning and that they are the problem, but she contradicts herself and later realizes that men are not the problem, women are. She starts her article with effective appeals, strong credibility and facts about men not doing their share but later her argument becomes ineffective and loses her argument at the end.
A study by Carnstensen, Gottman, and Levenson (1995) aimed to explore emotional behaviors in long-term marriages. They have come to the conclusion that older people often show more affection in their relationship while younger or middle age marriages. Although older couples have had their conflicts before, affection and love proved to be the most dominant emotions. However, unhappy marriages exist in all age categories. This research suggests that optimizing positive emotional experiences and minimizing negative experiences is the only way of achieving a happy marriage. Furthermore, it suggests that some couples have learned to remain neutral during discussions and disagreements, so they do not aim to change the other's opinions and beliefs. This behavior prevents escalations of deeper emotional problems which would eventually endanger the marital ...
...entury gender roles within their marriage are unbalanced, furthermore, holding a reoccurring pattern of injustice.
In a marriage, there are lessons to be learned from one moment to the next. Part of the purpose of being together is to make each other happy, create new memories and experiences, worship together, and connect on various other levels. However, through the joy and climbing the ladder, there will be some challenging obstacles the couple will face. Not all couples face the same issues, but if the effort to determine a solution is not given, then the outcome may be the same, divorce or separation.
- Noller, Patricia; Feeney, Judith; Understanding Marriage, New York, Cambridge University Press, 2002, Chapter 6