Rhetorical Analysis Of My Problem With Her Anger

Hol(e)y Matrimony

Even the most durable substances can fall apart. Marriage, a structure built upon the union of two people for eternity, can be destroyed—especially when the two feel threatened by the inevitable stress and frustration that follows. Eric Bartels, an author for the Portland Tribune, wrote in his article, My Problem With Her Anger, about receiving anger from his wife and his own discontent in his marriage. Bartels establishes his opinion that fundamental differences between men and women can deter marriage, through his use of strands and diction to describe reactions to stress from marriage based on gender; however, with his use of generalizations and loaded language to attack the female audience, his claim is limited.

Bartels focuses on the nature of men and women to discuss the vast differences as each respond to stress in marriage. However, due to his use of loaded language and diction, his message is ineffective as his language attacks women. Eric Bartels creates a binary between the steady emotions of men and the undulating emotions of women. Throughout the article, as Bartels describes men, he envelopes them into an immobile atmosphere. He equated men to a “testosterone factory” when discussing their innate behaviors (Bartels 60). The connotations with “factory” convey the strong, steady, and reliable nature Bartels parallels with men. Using immobile figures to portray men, Bartels illustrates that men are naturally sturdy, alluding to their more logical tendencies—like factories, men are utilitarian. Moreover, Bartels explains that men have a “confidence that, however vexing a problem might seem, it can and will be resolved” even if that problem arose from marital issues (Bartels 60). Because of this inherent confidence, Bartels assumes all men have, he conveys his beliefs that men can combat stress effectively without losing control as they will find a solution to a problem rather than worrying about the existence of a problem. Granting this confidence to men, Bartels creates a bias favoring men. Alternatively, Bartels surrounds women with mobile structures. He explains that when faced with “controlling the monstrous effects of motherhood” his wife struggles with keeping stress from morphing her “emotional landscape” (Bartels 60). Encompassing her with a shifting atmosphere, Bartels illustrates that she is unable to stand against the force of stress, which exhibits her innately weak character. Additionally, he explains how unlike men, “a woman’s world starts with fear” (Bartels 60). While men naturally have the aptitude to set aside their emotions to solve problems, women do not have this ability in Bartels’ opinion. Instead, their emotions, mostly fear, determine their reality. This binary between the confident man and the fearful woman illustrates the instinctive response of each gender to stress. However, because Bartels creates such discrimination against women, he weakens his claim. Instead of appealing to all of his audience, with his offensive and patronizing language, he isolates his female readers at whom his message of increased consideration during difficult times is directed.
Bartels delves into his personal sacrifice for marriage.

While he is effective in defining his sacrifices, his self-victimizing diction limits his claim as he blames his wife for his suffering and frustration. He discusses the social sacrifices he made as he no longer has personal time to have smaller liberties such as “time with friends...basketball games, beer” (Bartels 58) However, more importantly, he feels blindsided as he “wasn’t informed that [he] would give up golf altogether...not warned that sex would become a rarer commodity” (Bartels 63). Because Bartels claims he was unaware he would have to sacrifice so much with marriage, he places the blame for his dissatisfaction onto someone else’s shoulders, mainly his wife. Using a militaristic strand of diction, Bartels depicts his wife as an aggressive and offensive threat. Bartels explains how he has a consistent “fervor to confront(defeat)” problems that arise in his marriage, alluding that he exhaustingly fights through the problems he faces to meliorate the situation(Bartels 63). Additionally, Bartels feels as though his “castle, it is under siege. From within” which conveys his experience from menacing frustration and anger as well as his self-victimizing action by describing his sense of peril (Bartels 59). If Bartels places himself as the hero who nobly fights against danger for the greater good of the marriage, there must be an antagonist to the story. He vilifies his wife by portraying her as a constant threat, and consequently, not taking responsibility for his own emotions. Instead, exemplifying the a hasty generalization fallacy, he blames her inability to control her anger for all problems he faces throughout the marriage. Because he does not accept any responsibility and accuses his wife of his stress and sacrifice, his claim crumbles, even though he was able to provide specific examples of the sacrifices he

made.
Bartels wrote about his experiences and frustrations in his marriage. Through his use of strands and different types of diction, he was able to establish his claim about the inherent differences between men and women as well as his personal sacrifices. However, loaded language highlights the flaws in his claim which not only isolated the female audience but also presented himself as one without blame. Ultimately, he was ineffective in relaying his message about his wife’s anger and its deteriorating effect on marriage. Ironically, he feels frustrated at the lack of understanding from his wife, yet his personal lack of understanding of the causes of problems he faces leaves him with a holey matrimony.