My Parents's Influence On Gender Identity

Looking back on my childhood, I am better able to “see” just how much influence my parents had on my gender identity. My father always wanted a son, but ended up with two daughters. From the beginning, he did not know what to do with girls in the house. I can remember wanting to be by his side and help with outside chores, but I was always told no. I grew up in the country with lots of space to climb trees and run in the yard, yet again I was trained from the beginning that girls did not do those things. I can remember feeling like I disappointed my dad because I was born a girl. I even went through a faze where I tried to be a tomboy to gain his attention, but that did not work. My mother was a “traditional” homemaker. She made sure

There was no playing in the mud, jumping in rain puddles, or going outside without shoes on. I remember being told “no” constantly for everything I asked to do or play. Fast forward a few years and I am now in high school. This would normally be the time when teens start to stretch their wings and have some independence from their parents. I on the other hand was not allowed to do anything or go anywhere without my father. If I attended a football game it was considered dangerous and my dad had to go with me. My parents bought me a car, but I was not allowed to drive anywhere by myself. I was never taught car maintenance or even how to fill up the gas tank. My dad would always take my car and fill it up, even once I was married he continued to do this while my husband was serving in the Marines overseas. I can see now that the era my parents grew up in believed that women were the weaker sex and their roles were to take care of the home and serve the man. This type of thinking bothered me growing up, but I did not rebel against it. By growing up in the 80’s, I was able to see women start to make their own decisions and working outside of the home was becoming more commonplace. As a teenager, the outside influences of society were starting to make a mark on me even though they were unacceptable in my home