My Family: My Autistic Brother

As a child, I often avoided confrontation by keeping my opinions to myself, no matter how offensive someone was. But when someone directed negative comments toward my autistic brother who could not defend himself, I lost my self-control. Witnessing the struggles Bo has gone through, I feel it is cruel and ignominious to belittle the battles autistic children deal with daily. I share this story to help disclose the need to treat others with the courtesy we all deserve.

I never felt embarrassed by Bo or his condition. I describe him as "one cool cat." I have never encountered anyone who can use a computer with such efficiency, remember a week's entire TV show schedule, or quote all the lines from "Ren and Stimpy." Bo, the technology wizard of our family, can help us with any computer-related problem.

But Bo also has a communication barrier; he has difficulty carrying on a "normal" conversation with a "normal" child. This never blocked communication between my beloved brother and me; I jumped at the challenge of deciphering the "Bo Language."

When faced with someone unfamiliar with his behavior, however, I often became defensive. I too often missed chances to expose to others the need to give those with disabilities equal treatment, or at least a friendly smile. Instead, I would snap at the person committing the mistreatment; I would bristle and sputter and claw defensively like an angry cat.

Once when I was in my defensive mode, I had the opportunity to teach others the importance of treating the disabled with respect.

It was Bo's birthday. While other eight-year-olds would be celebrating with parties at Chuck E. Cheese or a roller rink, Bo wanted to visi...

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...e of Bo's favorites. Over Dr. Seuss books, animal crackers and Dixie cups filled with apple juice, the two girls, my brother, and I laughed and talked, enjoying the feeling of overcoming prejudices and finding a common ground: a desire to be loved and appreciated.

The two girls teasing my brother made me snap and lose my self-control and patience. Had I simply explained to the girl my brother's condition and the mistreatment she had directed at Bo, she would have most likely apologized and learned a valuable lesson without acquiring a purple bruise. But my own shortcomings taught us all a priceless lesson, and allowed the girls to see the tenderness in my brother that their prejudices had caused them to overlook.

As Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, "He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.