In a selection from Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men titled “Bros Before Hos”, Michael Kimmel defines masculinity and describes the societal guidelines for being a man. Kimmel lists the generalized rules of manhood and explains that the majority of men attain these ideas from other men in their life. Men who were shaped by these ideals then shape other men to fit the same rules, furthering the cycle of masculinity. Kimmel then illustrates the shunning of emotion, sensitivity, and any other effeminate behavior, for the fear of being perceived as gay. These effects of masculinity push men to avoid being ostracized and conform to idiocracy of manhood: recklessness, poor health, and stress. Just when masculinity seems like an obvious …show more content…
ploy, Kimmel explains the origin of the “Guy Code”. Not only are boys taught from a young age to act like their fathers and remain tough, but they are also separated from their mothers and any emotional interaction. Kimmel describes this as a deprivation to boys and a leading cause for the significantly larger amounts of male mental health issues. Kimmel’s writing not only depicts the conformity forced upon masculinity, but also strongly clarifies how difficult, and seemingly impossible, straying away from these impactful ideals is. Kimmel’s description of masculinity is perhaps the most understandable.
He maintains an order of writing that is well-organized, as well as constructive. The piece initiates with basic rules of masculinity. Then, he describes where these ideas come from and further describes how it is a solely male-instructed idea. Then, to further defend his “homosocial” definition of manhood, Kimmel explains the homophobic “fear of being misperceived as gay” (Kimmel 543-545). Thus, Kimmel ends his piece with a discussion of boys’ development and how “suppression and repudiation is the origin of the Boy Code” (Kimmel 547). The syntax structure Kimmel utilizes also proves helpful. Throughout his writing, he refers to masculinity as “Guyland” and refers to the rules of manhood as “The Guy Code” (Kimmel 541). Another key component in his writing is the tone he uses. After he allows the seriousness of his thoughts to develop, he adds in a bit of humor, such as comparing the “Guy Code” as fitting “as a straightjacket” (Kimmel 547). He also adds in dialogue of his own interactions to make a point, as well as provide occasional humor. Kimmel’s writing is not only supplies an ease of understanding, but it maintains its intent of unmasking the causes of masculinity. This piece allowed an idea so abstract and complex such as masculinity to be easily understood. Kimmel impressively interprets how the daunting demands of masculinity affect each man and the damages these demands hold to their emotional
well-being.
In Kimmel’s essay “’Bros Before Hos’: The Guy Code” he argues that the influence of society on masculinity is equal to or greater than biological influences on masculinity. In the essay, Kimmel uses various surveys and interviews to validate his argument. He points to peers, coaches, and family members as the people most likely to influence the development of a man’s masculinity. When a man has his manliness questioned, he immediately makes the decision never to say or do whatever caused him to be called a wimp, or unmanly. Kimmel’s argument is somewhat effective because the readers get firsthand accounts from the interviewees but the author does not provide any statistics to support his argument.
In the essay, “The High Cost of Manliness,” writer Robert Jensen discusses the harmful effects of having male specific characteristics, such as masculinity. Jensen realizes that men’s actions and ways of living are judged based upon the characteristic of being manly. He argues that there is no valid reason to have characteristics associated with being male. Society has created the notion that masculinity is the characteristic that defines males as males.
Both Shotgun Lovesongs by Nickolas Butler and Population: 485 by Michael Perry explore ideas of masculinity and manhood, but I think Butler shares a more diverse representation of masculinity through his different characters. What it means to be a man The concept of masculinity is considered as the qualities and characteristics of a man, typical of what is appropriate to a man. In this article, A Community Psychology of Men and Masculinity: Historical and Conceptual Review, the authors Eric S. Mankowski and Kenneth I. Maton, analyze four main themes: "Men as gendered beings, the privilege and damage of being a masculine man, men as a privileged group, and men’s power and subjective powerlessness. " The second and fourth themes are described as paradoxes that have created difficulty in efforts to analyze and understand men’s gender and masculinity." However, the point of view of masculinity that Perry raises in population 485 has a different aspect.
Kimmel, Michael. “Men Will Be Boys.” The New York Post. 7 Sept. 2008. Rpt. in Writing Communities & Identities. Ed. Cynthia Debes et al. 6th ed. Plymouth, MI: Hayden-McNeil Publishing, 2009. 56-64.
Whether this be through morals, choices, beliefs, or personality. Holloway argues that it is through toxic/abrupt masculinity that boys are constantly caught in the crossfires between fight or flight. Masculinity becomes toxic when it becomes obsessive and disruptive. When society gets to the point where they cannot even focus or be themselves because of the fact that the only thing they care about is being the perfect man. The idea of striving to become this perfect man is an example of flight in society. Men are being forced to attempt to fit into these ideals and “prove, and re prove that they are men” in order to avoid the feeling of not fitting in with the rest of the group (Holloway). Holloway continues to discuss how throughout their lives men are constantly seen as emotionally tougher which causes them to grow up believing that if they show emotions they are weaker and are not allowed to be a part of the pack. Therefore instead of fighting this ideal and deciding to stand up for who they are, it is easier to conform and attempt to fit in because if they show discontent then they are shown as weak and unable to handle the “social constructions of masculinity” forcing them to become a social pariah and damage their spiritual
For example the book in chapter 8 offers a con by talking about lack of relationships, and if guys are in relationships, they put in little effort. Guyland implies guys have as much sex as possible and watching porn reassures masculinity. I believe that’s not totally true, everyone is different and has unique way of approaching relationships. “Timid guys sometimes have a tendency to give older; more so called “popular” guys the power to define themselves, thus making their role in society greater” says Austin (pseudonym). Positively, Michael Kimmel offers a view into the minds of America 's sons, brothers, and boyfriends, and works toward redefining what it means to be a man today and tomorrow. Only by understanding this world and this life stage can we enable young men to chart their own paths, to stay true to themselves, and to travel safely through Guyland, emerging as responsible and fully formed men of integrity and
Zeilinger believes that not only women suffer from oppressive gender roles. Men often suffer just as much if not more. She seeks to expose the issues men face in todays society. Guys do have emotions, and when they come, they must face a big dilemma. They can either disconnect from their human emotions or live in a “state of contradiction” against their “manliness.” The traits that traditionally come with being a man are harmful to society. They are expected to be “cunning and take power and control instead of sharing it.” Men must be willing to point out weaker men in order to be above them. Zeilinger points out the adverse effect this mainstream mentality has. Guys are afraid to stray from the strict rules of manliness. If men go against the common standards they risk losing their identity as men. Those who choose to not follow these social norms are seen as a threat by those who are clinging to them. Gay men, for example often choose to stray from these norms. Zeilinger brings up a story of a friend who is gay and must overcome “male and female stigmas”. He often feels displaced as he does not fit in the realm of male or female roles. Zeilinger ends her article calling for change among both men and women in order to create a healthier
As young men grow up, they would generally learn and integrate within a box of codes which shows them how to be a man, known as the Guy Code. The Guy Code is a set of rules prevalently applied among men groups about how a man behaves with other men and his girlfriend. It mainly teaches guys to be dominant, aggressive and fearless. In Michael Kimmel’s “ Bros Before Hos: The Guy Code”, he indicates that men disguise their emotions and inner beings to be like a man, particularly among their peers. It imposes a consciousness that timidity is not a characteristic that men should have.
Jensen provides evidence throughout the text for three assumptions on why masculinity must be terminated from pertaining to just males. It is proposed that masculinity is harmful for both men and women, that men are surrendering their humanity by conforming with masculinity, and
Over the course of history, the definition of manhood has changed and morphed according to society’s rules. In his essay “Masculinity as Homophobia,” number four in The Matrix Reader, Michael Kimmel tackles the truth about what manhood has become and how society has challenged the meaning of homophobia. He begins with an analysis of history, and then proceeds to relate masculinity and homophobia to power, women, and violence. Manhood had not always existed; it was created through culture. Depending on the era, masculinity has a different meaning.
In the views of Micheal Kimmel “hegemonic masculinity” is a socially constructed process where men are pressured by social norms of masculine ideals to perform behaviors of a “true man” and its influence on young male’s growth. It is the ideology that being a man with power and expressing control over women is a dominant factor of being a biological male. The structure of masculinity was developed within the 18th to 19th century, as men who owned property and provided for his family with strength related work environments was the perfect example of being a generic “American man.” Kimmel introduces Marketplace Manhood and its relation to American men. He states, “Marketplace Masculinity describes the normative definition of American masculinity.
Boys are influenced by many of their coaches in life; brothers and fathers telling them they must be tough and show no pain, teachers who expect them to work hard at everything they do, and in the back of their minds are their mothers who worry about them over extending and getting hurt. Kimmel asked a few men in their 20’s, “where do young men get these ideas” (the Guy Code), they all gave the same answers: their brothers, fathers, and coaches. One mentioned that his father would always be riding him, telling him that he must be tough to make it in this world, another said his brothers were always ragging on him, calling him a “pussy” because he didn’t want to go outside and play football with them. He just wanted to stay in and play Xbox. Yet another said that whenever he got hurt his coach would mock and make fun of him because he was showing his feelings. The world is a very competitive for men, they believe they must always prove themselves to other men. Men get pressured into doing things they don’t want to do. Men shouldn’t be pressured they should be able to do what they want to
2. Language is a powerful tool when it comes to maintaining the Guy Code. It is how men teach each other what it means to be a man. This is evident in the list of ten phrases considered defining traits of being a man. Kimmel says that “all these aphorisms involve never showing emotions or admitting weakness.” If a man is able to measure up to all of these traits, then his manhood is safe and others will see that.
What this piece turns out to really be, is his taking to task the way society has determined that men should act and the inability for men to avoid the imposition of that stereotype without some how being considered, different at best or “not manly” at worst. And it is in the second paragraph where he sets up the notion of what the world believes a man to be and how that is both ambiguous and constraining at the same time. While there is no definition beside biological of what a man is, he points out that the notion of manliness “insists on difference and connives at superiority.” While he is obviously exaggerating somewhat in the insistence that he finds the notion of manliness to be “insulting and abusive, and ...
3. This model of masculinity can be recognized as problematic (i.e. harmful for the person living it, those living around it, and young men looking up to it) because…