My world didn’t end in a bang, or a whisper. But rather, one diagnostic at a time.
Ever since I was a just a little dude, my best friends were the doctors and nurses that poked and prodded me daily. My life consisted of hospitals and universities, long drives to fancy medical research places, and those splitting headaches that often woke me up screaming in pain. Lately they’ve gotten so bad I end up passed out on the floor for hours. When I was little, my mom told me that it was a gift to have so much smarts that my brain couldn’t handle it. Now that I’m older, I know that I have an extremely rare brain disease. So, while normal seventeen-year-old boys are out partying all the live-long day, I’m stuck in this closet they call a hospital room
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I am the only patient in the world with this disease. Modern medicine can’t cure it. The treatment I need may not be found for another century. If I continue in the state I’m in without treatment, I’m going to die. So, they wanted to cryogenically freeze me.
A year must have passed before I realized they were all looking at me expectantly. “So,” I mumbled slowly, my mind whirling. “You want to freeze me. Like Captain America.”
Doctor Dude grinned. “Yeah. Like Captain America.”
I left the hospital that day with a week to live the rest of my life, before I was basically killed and hung upside-down in a container to freeze my corpse until medicine from the future could cure me. How exactly is one supposed to react to that?
. . .
Doctor Dude was the only familiar face that met us when we arrived at the cryogenics lab a week later. He winked at me. “Welcome, Cap.” I forced a grin that could sour milk. We made a sad procession through the
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Ava wordlessly sat on my lap and wrapped her thin arms around my neck. I felt a giant lump rise in my throat, and no amount of swallowing could force it down. I closed my eyes and rested my head on hers. Suddenly I felt a strong arm around my neck and smelled mom’s hairspray, and I opened my eyes to find both my parents surrounding me protectively. I snuggled me and Ava into their arms like when were kids. The waterworks came and before I knew it Ava’s hair was soaked with my tears. But it was okay because she was soaking the collar of my shirt with
7th grade brought opportunity to discover more about medicine. Mrs. Barrett asked us to research an interesting careers. I picked pediatrics. I chose to tap into a first-hand experience by sitting down with Dr. Wayne. Every patient to him was like solving a Scooby Doo mystery. Sick kids were so young that, they could not always tell what was going on and parents were also at a loss for words. However, often times there were hints as to the illness. Arriving at a
If a doctor didn't come and talk to us soon, I was going to march my way into one of those rooms and find the doctor myself. It was cruel to keep us waiting so long without answers; I was going crazy with worry.
“Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Everything will be all right.” My doctor was there. That reassured me. I felt that in his presence, nothing serious could happen to me. Every one of his words was healing and every glance of his carried a message of hope. “It will hurt a little,” he said, “but it will pass. Be brave.” (79)
I walked into the room on New Year’s Day and felt a sudden twinge of fear. My eyes already hurt from the tears I had shed and those tears would not stop even then the last viewing before we had to leave. She lay quietly on the bed with her face as void of emotion as a sheet of paper without the writing. Slowly, I approached the cold lifeless form that was once my mother and gave her a goodbye kiss.
It was a quiet and pleasant Saturday afternoon when I was doing my rotation at the surgical medical unit at Holy Cross Hospital. It’s time to get blood sugar levels from MM, a COPD patient. His BiPAP was scheduled to be removed before his discharge tomorrow. When I was checking the ID badge and gave brief explanation what I needed to do. The patient was relaxed, oriented and her monitor showed his SPO2 was 91, respiratory rate was 20. His grandchildren knocked the door and came in for a visit. I expected a good family time, however, the patient started constant breath-holding coughing and his SPO2 dropped to 76 quickly. With a pounding chest, the patient lost the consciousness. His grandchildren were scared and screaming,
The director threw me the ball a few times, and I practiced hitting it in order to give me confidence. One time when he threw it, I hit it. There are two cameras next to each other, and the ball went right through the middle. My jaw dropped when I saw that. I couldn't believe it.
A yellow skinned man wearing a gas mask and orange prison clothes stands in a large glass box. Another man walks in wearing a tailored suit, black tie, gasses, and a name tag. He sits down in a chair. “Now lets see what your in for... arson, tampering with lethal chemical compounds, bank robbery, and and 24 acounts of murder, and that's just in the past week, It seems like you're going to be here for a while.” He fixes his glasses.
One fateful day at the end of June in 1998 when I was spending some time at home; my mother came to me with the bad news: my parent's best friend, Tommy, had been diagnosed with brain cancer. He had been sick for some time and we all had anxiously been awaiting a prognosis. But none of us were ready for the bumpy roads that lay ahead: testing, surgery, chemotherapy, nausea, headaches, and fatigue. Even loud music would induce vomiting. He just felt all around lousy.
Then I feel arms wrap around me and pull me into a tight hug. I recognize the familiar embrace and realize it’s my mom. She whispers comforting coohs and barely audible words. I feel her shirt pressed against my forehead drenched with my tears so I know she can feel it too
I can still remember that small enclosed, claustrophobic room containing two armed chairs and an old, brown, paisley print couch my dad and I were sitting on when he told me. “The doctors said there was little to no chance that your mother is going to make it through this surgery.” Distressed, I didn’t know what to think; I could hardly comprehend those words. And now I was supposed to just say goodbye? As I exited that small room, my father directed me down the hospital hallway where I saw my mother in the hospital bed. She was unconscious with tubes entering her throat and nose keeping her alive. I embraced her immobile body for what felt like forever and told her “I love you” for what I believed was the last time. I thought of how horrific it was seeing my mother that way, how close we were, how my life was going to be without her, and how my little sisters were clueless about what was going on. After saying my farewells, I was brought downstairs to the hospital’s coffee shop where a million things were running
Several months ago, I was at my annual checkup at my doctor’s office. What started out as just a routine office visit was the beginning in a life changing experience.
Paramedics squeeze my arms, staining their gloves a deep red. Doctors and nurses scream at each other as they run across the hallways wheeling me into the operating theatre. I look over to my wrists as clear fluids begin their journey into my veins. My heart is in my throat, my pulse is echoing throughout the room, my limbs are quivering, and my lungs are screaming. Nurses force plastic tubes up my nose, as jets of cold air enter my sinuses, giving me relief. Inkblots dance before my eyes like a symphony of lights. A sudden sleepiness overcomes me and slowly my vision dims.
Count to ten- one, two, three, four. The cool room smells of chemicals from the sanitation products used on everything. Thirteen people all cooped up with masks, gloves, and scrubs. As they are preparing for their job mine has already been done. I back away and let the surgeon take over as I watch the patient's vital signs like a hawk. For a moment, there is complete silence as everyone prepares to begin the long, grueling surgery. I feel especially tense given I’m just a baby when you compare me to the veteran doctors that surround me. I have studied and worked hard my entire life to be able to do this. Tick.Tock. The hours go by. The tension in the air grows thicker with every passing second, as the surgery becomes more riskier. The career
I stood there in amazement. A tingle surged throughout my whole body. It was a rush of excitement I had never felt before in my life. When my eyes hit her angelic little body, they froze and I couldn't think or acknowledge anything else around me. The world seemed to stop, hold its place in time, just for that perfect moment. While she slept I stared at this precious little angel. My hands quivered as I slowly reached down to touch her little fingers and feel the softness of her skin. I ran the tips of my fingers very gently across her smooth face, and right away, I fell in love. Then my brother said, "I can wake her up so you can hold her." I was ecstatic, I was finally going to meet her! As I held her, I stared into her gorgeous blue eyes and knew instantly that I would love and cherish her forever with all my heart.
“Wow…are you absolutely sure there is no chance our baby will not be born with Down syndrome?” I asked the doctor after being told my baby was not the healthy baby girl my husband and I had hoped for. “Yes, ma’am we are 100% positive your daughter has Down syndrome…now I hate to tell you this, but I must say the best choice for both you and your baby is to have an abortion.” The doctor said.