Martha Stout's When I Woke Up Tuesday Morning, It Was Friday

Ones normal reaction towards trauma is to avoid it, however the objective reality towards consciously forgetting memories unknowingly strengthens them. In Martha Stout's, “When I Woke Up Tuesday Morning, It Was Friday" the broad concept of trauma materialized through activities such as dissociation, serves as a protective mechanism that stimulates a person to enter a detached state, in which an individual completely separates his or her thought processes and memories. Plainly stated in Stout’s essay, “It is the case that under certain circumstance, ranging from peasant or unpleasant distraction to fascination to pain to horror, a human being can be psychologically absent from his or her own distinct experience” (427). The small perception

individuals have on self-conception forges a deeper meaning, as dissociation causes individuals to lose track of time and find another representation of himself or herself to continue in that moment. Throughout Stout’s essay, she elaborates how the removal from reality can be seen in many ways as non-traumatic and a necessity. Similarly, Karen Armstrong elaborates a bit further on this idea in her essay “Home Religiosus”, where she questions the detailed notions placed on trauma, as the symbolical motivation to safe harbor. In what follows, I will argue that when traumatic events interfere with the interpretations of life, one stresses the idea of excluding themselves in various ways to cope with their loss of self conception.
　　In times where many people weave through the contradictions and traumatic events within communities, people feel as if the ability to dissociate themselves, or simultaneously empty the meanings surrounding their lives, is a better way of living than facing the traumatic struggles of time. Traumatic events can make or break people. In the sense that when one feels the struggle to survive, they may grasp their intellect and find their personal places in society. Whereas if one succumbs to the fear of trauma, they may just dissociate themselves from the world around them and cut their ties to existence. As stated in Stout’s essay:
　　Typically, only those with the most desperate trauma histories are ever driven to discover and perhaps modify their absences from the present....On account of our neurological wiring, confronting past traumas requires one to reendure all of their terrors mentally, in their original intensity, to feel as if the worst nightmare had come true and the horrors had returned. All the brain's authoritative warnings against staying present for the memories and the painful emotions, all the faulty fuses, have to be deliberately ignored, and in cases of extreme or chronic past trauma, this process is nothing short of heroic. (423).
Here, through the traumatic events being described, the struggle that one of Stout’s patient faces actually allows her to create meaning to her life. It may seem as if the narrator’s cryptic tone may question the weary existence of an individual. However the heroic and striving personality of the patient allows her to surpass the misery that she faced. Furthermore, with use of words such as “desperate”, “terror”, and “painful” Stout hints at the notion that when times do get rough and painful, the way that one beats the cruel natures of existence requires much more press from an individual than usually expected. Meanwhile with the repetition of traumatic pain throughout Stout’s essay, Armstrong also makes it evident in “Homo Religiosus” that through religious attempts to find meaning the result of relentless pain also traumatizes individuals. For example she states:
　　As meaning-seeking creatures, men and women fall very easily into despair. They have created religions and works of art to help them find value in their lives, despite all the dispiriting evidence to the contrary. The initiation experience also shows that a myth, like that of the Animal Master, derives much of its meaning from the ritualized context in which it is imparted (5).
Here, the trauma that one faces while searching for meaning parallels how an individual forces him or herself to find meaning in their weary existence, while also creating memories of pain and distress. As a normal reaction one would most likely avoid the problems that may arise. However different people have different ways of coping with these difficulties. One common response is to create a sanctuary where one cannot be bothered by the disruption. As stated in Armstrong’s essay, “Nirvana was a self center that gave meaning to life, an oasis of calm, and a source of strength that you discover in the depths of your own being” (17). Yet still these sanctuaries are fictional ideas that are just there to detach your soul from existence “In purely mundane terms, it was “nothing,” because it corresponded to no reality that we could recognize in our ego-dominated existence” (17). Therefore, when we confront situations in which we feel the utmost traumas of life, the idea of forgetting pain takes a larger toll than expected.
　　Meanwhile, the notion of facing reality can be helpful in creating a better understanding of the truth of an event that an individual remembers. As explained by Stout in her essay, sometimes the reality of an individual’s existence can be misguided as his or her own consciousness becomes lost, and only portions of what actually happened can be recalled. For instance in the essay Stout states, “The thing that I understand the least is that apparently I go about my business during these time, and nobody notices any difference in me... I must have done a mountain of editing. And I don’t remember a bloody thing” (431). With this dialog Stout explains how her patient, Julia, in a sense blacks out and loses a control of her actions, thoughts, and feelings. This may seem as if the reality of the situation is common since no one notices a difference in her state of mind. However the subjective reality of the event makes it evident that the surreal feeling of letting go has no end and can cause much pain on the body. Although, events may occur, or seem to occur, the trauma of the event can jumble the self-conceptions of individuals.
　　Typically one assumes detaching yourself from trauma can be beneficial for the moment.

However, if everyone were to stop and take a gander to forget their failures, society would not recognize that each and every person has something better to offer than their accomplishments. It is evident that dissociation itself can be seen as a problem. For example Stout’s patients encounter it on a daily basis, and unfortunately this labels them as “abnormal.” Nevertheless with the biased perceptive of seeing her patients as weird, they are no different from the man that blacks out at the movie theater. “This perfectly ordinary man is dissociated from reality. Effectively, he is in a trance. We might label his perceptions as psychotic, except for the fact that when the movie is over, he will return to his usual mental status almost instantly. He will see the credits. He will notice that he has spilled some popcorn, although he will not remember doing so” (427). In sum, someone who society would see as a “normal man,” also experiences something that Stout’s patients take on regularly, all in the end just to loss the negativity in their

life.
　　In conclusion, Stout establishes how trauma plays a vital role in how every individual acts in society itself.

As an individual feels the dread of time and goes through the process of depression, the idea of dissociating themselves comes into play. Stout describes this throughout her essay as leaving the soul or describing it as “flying away”. It may seem as if some individuals are secure with their own identity, however that is never the case for the traumatic events that force each person to fall into a state of desperation and lose their self-conception. Meanwhile in Karen Armstrong’s essay, she describes how through spiritual practices some abolish all the negativity that surrounds everyone just to find meaning. Yet still the idea cleansing your mind from all trauma, to reach a safe harbor, where you feel relaxed and comforted is never the brightest solution. Due to the fact that when you lose a memory, you are short yourself of an experience. In both Stout’s and Armstrong’s essay, the willingness to dissociate yourself from the harsh realities of society with ease comes into question. In the end when one interferes with the interpretation of traumatic events, the meaning behind life turns out be blemished and left

questionable.