Love and the pattern of relationships will often be fashioned on a person’s upbringing and the family life they experienced. While a person may have come from a loving home with parents who respected each other, shared responsibilities and managed to stay married, this will perhaps be the kind of relationship they will want for themselves. On the other hand, while a person may have come from a hostile environment with parents who fought and ended in divorce, this may perhaps be the kind of relationship they may seek. Memories of a negative childhood will always be in the back of a person’s mind, and they will subliminally feel normal in a relationship that reminds them of their childhood. Many people mistake this pattern as love, and it often leads to a broken affair. Recognizing this and breaking the pattern of this type of relationship is the only way a person will be able to achieve happiness, and build a relationship that will last. If a person believes that everything about their parent’s relationship was perfect, they, too, may have an illusion that this is how life should be between partners. They may not realize that times change, or understand that their parents may have withheld some of their bad times from them. When a person enters into a relationship that does not live up to this perfection patterned from their childhood, it can leave them with a feeling of disillusion and a sense of disappointment. Love and the pattern of relationships should be of our own desires, hopes and dreams, and not someone else’s. We are the only ones who can decide how we want our next relationship to be. It may take some time in understanding what our definition of a perfect relationship is, or what we wish for our own lives. For every relationship that does not work out, this should be a clue as to what we desire in a long-term relationship. Learning from failed affairs should give insight to future ones, and help to understand ourselves better.
Once they can objectively see the pattern and how it repeats itself over time, they are in a position to see their own contribution to it” (pg. 36). An individual can only change their own relationship pattern. If one individual in the relationship tries to make a positive change to their relationship pattern it is more than likely that the other partner will follow in their footsteps (Gilbert, 1992). While reading this chapter on relationship patterns I began to notice similarities with some of my own relationships. It was awesome to see how these patterns come about and how to improve them. One of the second concepts discussed in the chapters was the emotions in relationships. One factor that stood out to me was how vital and crucial emotions are to human life. Gilbert (1992) believes that “Emotions are important to all life, firing the strong, quick reactions necessary to survive the dangers of existence” (pg. 38). Emotions can also be described as patterns that are created early on. In relationships emotions are one of the crucial parts of a relationship, but they can also lead to be part of the most difficult parts of a relationship. Gilbert (1992) states “While they are necessary, desirable, and pleasurable, feelings and emotions also lead to most of the
Regardless of the form in which it exists- be it romantic, familial, or platonic- the love and many relationships which manifest between people functions as a defining factor in the development of all individuals in both an intrapersonal and interpersonal context.
Dating back to the early 1900’s and all the way through to the present, romantic relationships have been viewed differently. From strict unwritten dating regulations to not having regulations at all, recent generations have become more liberated in making their own decisions. The progressing times have made us become a more accepting society and have caused a decrease in the strong practice of religion and class. Even though differences such as religion and class in relationships were more than an issue they were not always a complete deterrence.
This standard looks at whether or not the theory opens up a new perspective that is uniquely human. When trying to understand the laws that govern relationships, Baxter and Montgomery looked at many relationships and found that there were contradictions, different expectations, and several other misconceptions. This led the...
Robert Nozick’s Love’s Bond is a clear summary of components, goals, challenges, and limitations of romantic love. Nozick gives a description of love as having your wellbeing linked with that of someone and something you love. I agree with ideas that Nozick has explained concerning the definition of love, but individuals have their meaning of love. Every individual has a remarkable thing that will bring happiness and contentment in their lives. While sometimes it is hard to practice unconditional love, couples should love unconditionally because it is a true love that is more than infatuation and overcomes minor character flaw.
Epstein, Robert, Mayuri Pandit, and Mansi Thakar. "How Love Emerges In Arranged Marriages: Two Cross-Cultural Studies." Journal Of Comparative Family Studies 44.3 (2013): 341-360. Academic Search Complete. Web. 31 Mar. 2014
The media today publishes many articles on relationships. These are often presented as advice columns or news articles and many of the writers will usually include some sort of psuedo-psychology to back up their claims. This may look good from the readers’ perspective as it attempts to provide some scientific grounding for the basis of the article; most of the time however, the ‘psychology’ presented is either misinterpreted, based on poor research, or just completely false. In this paper I will use examples of relationship psychology found in popular media and will compare them to accepted psychological theory.
When thinking about romantic relationships, whether in the movies, media or your own relationship what characteristics come to mind? The topic we will discuss in this presentation attends to the romantic relationships within interpersonal communication.
After understanding, and coping the problem a person can deal with their problem at hand by perhaps writing it down or writing about who hurt them, according to Melanie Tonia Evans, “this is self-recognition that will assist you in healing and reclaiming your right to perfect love, success and happiness.” A person can feel as if they were abandoned, unwanted, unloved, or forgotten. The most important thing though, is to stay positive about themselves at all costs. When a person loves themselves and is happy with their life it can make everything much easier and healing can begin. “Once you have validated and learned what you can from the experience, you can let it go and move forward. This won’t happen all at once. Those imprints are still there, and they need to be replaced with healthy, positive ones,” (Dania Vanessa.) The dysfunctional experiences that a person has from their childhood can pose as a learning experience that shaped someone into who they are now, from the hardships they
Karen Horney “Distrust between sexes” proceeds go into the different aspects of Love and Relationships. In this book Horney gives examples on how women deal with emotions which transitions from childhood to adult life. The fundamentals of documentation are displayed in unavoidable ways in most occurrences people run into. People are blind to the fact that love in relationships can be destroyed by overt or covert? In some cases lack of sympathy is then blamed, when relationships don’t work out between two individuals. Some couples fall into social, economic defaults which impacts the relationships. These are issues people never stop to think about, all they want to do is shift the blame to one another in a relationship. Self-preservation is a basic instinct for everyone and is present at birth. This can enhance the natural fear of losing ourselves in a relationship (Horney 1930). In Horney discussions I found that a person only feels despair because of the deep emotions of abundant from “Love” during childhood. That can develop more mixed emotions that turn into mistrust, which causes delusions that tell them they are not getting love from their partner (Horney 1930). With these types of feelings mistrust sips into relationships, starting from a child carries over into adult life. Reasons are when a child comes into the world learns everything it needs to know from its parent. If the child’s emotional needs are not taken care of when the family increases, the child will feel a need to compete for affection from the parents, which could turn into a painful situation. With this being said the child grows into an adult with suppressed aggression. If he/she has not learned how to deal with...
In our adolescence we experience many things that can affect our live. When we are at young age, we are more at risk to get into addictions. We want to experiment new things that adults do like smoke, drink alcohol or even do drugs. But during this period of time we are in school, we also experiment our first sentimental relationship. In the scientific article by Giordano, Longmire and Manning entitled, “Gender and the Meanings of Adolescent Romantic Relationships: A Focus on Boys. It talks about some main points of relationship those are communication, emotion and influence. Sometimes is not what we expect from the person or in reality is that we think different than others. With the time we may experience lots of relationships it could be
In the second relationship, things are often thought to be better, but it’s not always the case.
How different are families compared to the past? Lately there has been some major changes in relationships, weather female dominance, or even just having no relationships at all. We also see that relationships are based only on a basis of reproduction and sometimes the child of the relationship is rather irrelevant. In a Temporary matter by Jhumpa Lahiri, the reader can see how relationships have developed with the rest of the world into failing, no relationship, and feminist relationships.
A big thing that people may disagree with is that love is supposedly “conditional” (108). According to Fredrickson, “'just as our body is designed to extract oxygen from the Earth’s atmosphere, our body is designed to love” (105). If love is supposedly such an engraved ability, why would it need conditions? Well, as amazing as our brain can be, it is not able to hold huge amounts of information. It will automatically discard of unused information after a short while. So basically, if we want to maintain love, we have to keep renewing acts of love. This explains why many relationships tend to fail. It is very common for people to lose feelings for someone and it is solely because people do not know how to self-generate love. However, it is not our fault, no one has taught us how to love, we just follow our hearts and go with it. But with integration of love 2.0, we will be able to achieve that status of “relationship goals”. Fredrickson simplifies this idea by revealing that love has two preconditions, safety and connection. In maintaining a safe environment, we can continue to bless each other with the gift of positive
When I was a child, my parents fight a lot because they married by arranged. I witnessed or heard the moment when they fight and had an argument, I also cried a lot when I saw the bruise appeared on my parents’ body. My older sister hugs me until I fall asleep at that period. After several time, my parents started to realize it is so affective to us if they had the domestic violence when they fight. That experience also caused the issue of my distrust to the marriage. I think the early attachment relationship between my parents predicts later emotional development to