Look Me In The Eye: A Brief Summary

In Look Me in the Eye, John Elder Robison reminisces about his life with Asperger’s Disorder as a child and adult, before it was diagnosable in accordance with the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (APA, 2013). While Robison was not diagnosed until his 40’s, many people today are diagnosed in early childhood when clinical signs and symptoms first become apparent to parents and clinicians. Asperger’s Disorder, unlike other Autistic Disorders, presents with no significant delays in cognitive development, age related activities of daily living, language development or adaptive behavior (APA, 2013). After it is confirmed that the aforementioned developments are intact, the DSM-V examines for the presence of social impairment, stereotyped and repetitive behaviors and interests, and a clinically significant impairment in social, occupational or other area of functioning (APA, 2013). To meet the social

impairment requirement, two of the following need to be observed: abnormal nonverbal behavior, age inappropriate relationships, lack of interest or joy in other people and decreased social and emotional empathy. Each prerequisite presents to a different degree but represent a general lack of awareness in social situations. To meet the second criterion, one of the following needs to be observed: intense focus on stereotyped interest, non-adherence to non-essential routines, repetitive motor mannerisms and enthrallment with parts of an object. All four encompass behavior associated with intense focus on the detailed task at hand or established routines. The last criterion involves significant functional loss due to impairment in social, occupational or other important area. Unlike the first criterion, the third criterion involves the loss of a functional social or occupational life due to factors associated with Asperger’s Disorder.
While Robison was undiagnosed throughout his memoir, his recollection of events and mannerisms provides the reader with the framework needed to fulfill the requirements of Asperger’s Disorder. Robison gave no suggestion that he suffered lack of cognitive or language development. In contrast, Robison describes himself as having advanced cognitive and language development throughout his childhood but an inability to demonstrate these abilities due to social impairment (Robison, 2007). Robison’s shortcomings were attributed to depression and schizophrenia as a child, but as he describes he never suffered from delusions, hallucinations or disorganized speech and despite his flat affect, never suffered from depression (Robison, 2007). As Robison puts it, “my facial expressions were rigid, and I seldom smiled...I stayed alone, in my own little world” (Robison, 2007, p. 4). While it may have appeared to the outside world that he was depressed or hearing voices, Robison was so inwardly focused that he rarely refocused to his surroundings. Ruling out possible diagnoses like Pervasive Developmental Disorder or Schizophrenia, the first three criteria need to be met in order to be diagnosed with Asperger’s Disorder.
Robison possesses several characteristics of social impairment. As the title suggests, Robison has struggled and stills struggles with looking people in the eye during social interactions. He questions this social process; acknowledging it as a normal process but describes himself as unable to focus when looking into other’s eyes (Robison, 2007). He also acknowledges his lack of nonverbal communication when reacting to peers (Robison, 2007, p. 236). Another struggle for Robison over the years is his lack of emotional reciprocity or empathy. Robison attributes his lack of empathy to his logical course of thinking:
“If ten people get killed in bus crash in Brazil, I don’t feel anything at all. I understand intellectually that it’s sad, but I don’t feel sad...I have what you might call “logical empathy”...I don’t know them and the news has no effect on my life” (Robison, 2007, p. 30).

While some might agree with his perspective on empathy from a logical stance, what separates Robison is his inability to convey emotion in an empathetic manner to develop peer relationships. From early childhood, his logical thinking impeded relationships with kids his own age because he did not understand or acknowledge people’s differing reactions to events and emotions. Fulfilling the second criterion, Robison explains his unconscious head bobbing and weaving that frequently accompanies him in social situations. He explains he seldom notices when he starts and even when someone points it out, it feels normal to him (Robison, 2007). This repetitive mannerism has led to peer criticisms and stereotyping. Lastly, Asperger’s Disorder has impaired Robison’s ability to function socially, academically and occupationally. While severely affecting his life early on, through conscious and purposeful behavior, Robison has adapted to the people and mannerisms surrounding him.
It is difficult to single out one factor that has caused Robison’s Asperger’s due to the genetic nature of the disorder. People are born with Asperger’s, so risk factors point in the direction of the pregnancy or the genetics of the parents. It is possible that Robison’s mother ingested a chemical during pregnancy, leading to genetic mutations but at this point it is hard to know. It does not appear that either of Robison’s parents exhibited signs of Asperger’s but they could have been carriers or been exposed to environmental substances that altered the genes they would pass to their son. Support for the genetic nature of Asperger’s is demonstrated in the Robison’s son being diagnosed at a young age, although he appears to suffer to a lesser degree. While it is unknown what risk factors ultimately led to Robison’s Asperger’s, he is adamant it is no one’s fault.
From forming relationships to keeping relationships, Asperger’s Disorder makes all aspects of social activity more difficult.

Robison’s earliest challenges started with creating relationships with kids his own age. Social normality and customs went unnoticed to Robison, and often resulted in other kids mocking him. For this reason, he connected to adults because they “tolerated” his abnormal behavior, but this was also a burden on his family. When Robison didn’t act like was expected, his parents lashed out towards him, sending him to countless psychiatrists which often made him more confused. Ultimately, his social behavior forced those closest to him to simply accept him for who he was. This meant adjusting to his intricacies that others saw as rude or abrasive. For instance, when he becomes jumpy and fidgety, like many with Asperger's, his wife “decided to try petting my arm, and I immediately stopped...she never stopped” (Robison, 2007, p. 256). While some may view these intricacies as weaknesses, Robison sees them as his

strengths.
The first major environmental strength that contributed to Robison’s “recovery” was when he joined KISS on tour as their sound technician. This was the first time he was fully accepted as himself. It was the first time he didn’t feel alone. Robison states: “I did not ever want to be alone...I was alone as a result of my own limitations” (Robison, 2007, p. 211). In this world he was given the opportunity to grow as a person without the judgement he experienced in his childhood. As Robison later worked in the corporate world he became more self-aware of his strengths and used them to his advantage. When he left the corporate world and started his own car business he realized his compulsion to focus and details made him great at car service. His precise and blunt speech gave him the ability to explain complex problems to clients and his “inability to read body language or appearance meant, in an industry rife with discrimination, that I treated everyone the same” (Robison, 2007, p. 214). Finding his niche allowed Robison to adjust to the social world within the realm of his own thinking, but his largest breakthrough came from a client and friend. Having known Robison for 10 years, his friend TR, gave him a book on Asperger’s by Tony Attwood. Realizing he wasn’t alone, Robison retrained himself to interact with people in a way that was “only slightly eccentric” and finally understood “how ‘normal’ people acted in different situations” (Robison, 2007, p. 239). Understanding his diagnosis has led to Robison not feeling like a fraud for the first time in his life and has allowed him to be open and connect with others affected by Asperger's Disorder.
I recently began watching the show Parenthood on Netflix and a major storyline revolves around a family with a son diagnosed with Asperger’s Disorder. Coming from a family of teachers I had a basic understanding of Asperger’s but I never truly understood what it means to live with the disorder. When I watched the character depiction on the show, I became curious how accurate the portrayal was of Asperger’s. I found the similarities remarkably similar. While a fictitious character on the show, watching him mature through the show gave me a better understanding of Robison. My most important take-away was the want of people with Asperger’s to not be alone. While it is often hard for them to express this desire, it is something I will carry with me in my profession and life. What I find amazing about Robison’s story is his insight into his behaviors and mannerisms. He completely understands his strengths and weaknesses but is not always able to demonstrate them outwardly. His ability to convey this self-introspection makes me curious about severe forms of Autism where communication is more difficult. What emotions or insights do they want to convey but can't express? It may never fully be answered but I look forward to learning about further research of Asperger’s so I can better support and strengthen the Asperger community. Robison says it best: “Asperger’s is not a disease. It’s a way of being. There is no cure, nor is there a need for one. There is, however, a need for knowledge and adaptation on part of Aspergian kids and their families and friends” (Robison, 2007, p. 5). His story has contributed to this knowledge and will continue to bolster understanding of Asperger’s Disorder.