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A chemistry teacher wanted to teach his 9th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class, observe the worms closely," he said, putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.
The second worm he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the teacher asked.
One of the students raised his hand and wisely, responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."
Quotes To Go With Your Beer
The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.
- William Butler Yeats
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
- For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemingway
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
- Ernest Hemingway
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
- Dean Martin
Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.
- Anonymous
No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or as good as drink.
- G.K. Chesterton
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
- Catherine Zandonella
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
- Ambrose Bierce
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
- Anonymous
I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
- W.C. Fields
Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
- Anonymous
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
- Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
- His reply
If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomaches.
- David Daye
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
- Oscar Wilde
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
- Henny Youngman
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
- Anonymous
...
... middle of paper ...
... in beer.
- Dave Barry
My problem with most athletic challenges is training. I'm lazy and find that workouts cut into my drinking time.
- Anonymous
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
- Humphrey Bogart
Friends don't let friends drink Light Beer.
- Anonymous
If nothing beats a Bud, given the choice, I'd take the nothing...
- Anonymous
Draft beer, not people!
- Anonymous
Adhere to Schweinheitsgebot. Don't put anything in your beer that a pig wouldn't eat.
- David Geary
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
- David Moulton
A drink a day keeps the shrink away.
- Edward Abbey
Put it back in the horse!
- H. Allen Smith, an American humorist in the '30s-'50s, after he drank his first American beer at a bar.
The Beer Song
(Sung to the tune of "Do Ray Me")
Do--the stuff that buys me beer
Ray--the guy who sells me beer
Me--the guy who drinks the beer
Far--a long way to get beer
So--I'll have another beer
La--I'll have another beer
Tea--No, thanks I'm drinking beer
That will bring us back to...(looks into empty glass)
D'OH!!!
As Herie and Skinner state “Beverage Alcohol can be described as a depressant drug which diminishes the activity in parts of the brain and spinal cord in accordance with the amount of alcohol in a person’s bloodstream” (Herie & Skinner, pg. 42). With its long history and unique properties such as the cure of all diseases “prolongs life, clears away ill humours, revives the heart and maintains youth”, alcohol is often related to tradition and expressions; many of these traditions are adaptation from earlier times where it was believed alcohol reflected water of life (Herie & Skinner, 2010). This is quite evident in Days of Wine and Roses where Joe is first seen drinking because “it was part of his job” and because “he had to because of everyone
Most people point to wars, Presidents or the economy when asked to describe the history of the United States, but what about alcohol. Social history in general has always taken a back seat to political and economic history, mostly because many aspects of social history are not exactly bright spots from the past. Alcohol, for example, is actually a much bigger aspect of our history than one may expect. As a matter of fact, early America was centered around drinking as a kind of social event. William Rorabaugh’s book Alcoholic Republic outlines how prevalent drinking really was during the years after the Revolutionary War. Rorabaugh argues that post-colonial Americans should be considered alcoholics. However, the evidence Rorabaugh uses
What is alcohol? Where does it even come from? Is it bad? What effect does it have on the body? What are the benefits? These popular questions are the focal points of this discussion. The moral and religious debate of whether or not alcohol is wrong to consume is not in the scope of this conversation. Alcohol is a widely used substance by many people, and I intend to take an objective, factual, and practical approach to this topic.
Alcohol has always been a part of feminine culture, but it took a dramatic shift in the early 20th century. In the book, Domesticating Drink, Catherine Murdock argues that during this period, women transformed how society drank and eradicated the masculine culture that preceded this shift. Murdock draws from a few different sources to prove her argument, such as: etiquette manuals published after the turn of the century and anecdotes from the time period. She provides many interesting and unique perspectives on how drinking culture evolved, but she shows a clear bias towards “wet” culture and also makes very exaggerated claims that turn her argument into something that is nearly impossible to completely prove.
Jody was born biologically with male genitals and he was brought up as a boy. Unlike his more gender-typical older brother, Jody’s childhood behavior was considered “sissy”. Jody genetically preferred the company of girls compared to boys during childhood. Jody considered herself a bisexual male until the age of 19. At 19 years of age, she became involved with a man, and her identity would be transgender, meaning that Jody was unhappy with her gender of birth and seeks a change from male to female. It would seem that there was some late-onset dissatisfaction, and late-onset is linked to attraction to women; in comparison to early childhood-onset, which are attracted to men. Jody identified herself as bisexual. The relationship with the man ended; nevertheless, Jody’s desire to become a woman consumed her, and Jody feels that’s he was born in the
Imagine, a little boy sitting at home alone, hungry and scared because he doesn’t know where his parents are. Millions of children live this scenario every day because they have parents who abuse alcohol. Alcohol abuse is an addiction that affects everyone in the drinker’s life. Many examples of this are shown in The Glass Castle, Jeanette Walls and her siblings are heavily impacted by their father’s drinking habit and are constantly forced to take care of themselves. Having a parent with a harmful history of alcohol abuse increases the risk of child maltreatment greatly, alcohol use disorder creates many problems especially when children are involved so government should step in and remove children from that environment.
Mass media controls the public like puppets. It affects everything a person does with their lives. Just like in Fahrenheit 451 we live in a society of fantasizers. We believe what the media tells us and to not question it but just go along with it. Media is everywhere whether we are aware of it or not.
The Bernie Madoff Ponzi Scheme is a well-known case and is known as one of the biggest Ponzi scheme’s. In summary the scheme occurred for many reasons that I will some up into 3 points; A lack in competency by regulatory agencies, a lack of regulation, and finally a breach in ethics by Bernie Madoff himself. To explain further, the regulatory agencies like the lawyers and SEC are supposed to prevent schemes such as this one from happening but because they lacked the skills to correctly assess the situation, interpreting the number of tips they had received regarding scheme that had been filed, and to act on those in an efficient manner. One of the tips was made by Harry Markopolos in 2000, of who correctly predicted that Madoff was guilty of fraud. Even after this tip from Markopolos, Madoff was not arrested until 2009. Many family members were also a part of the fraud along with some non-family members such as Frank DiPascali and a team known as the 17th floor team, who helped Madoff carry out his fraud. The idea behind Madoff’s fraud was that he would produce false statements of their investments and when people wanted to pull out their investments, the money wasn’t actually there, which rightfully rose more than a few eyebrows and ultimately led to his arrest.
The state of women in the United States criminal justice system, an apparently fair organization of integrity and justice, is a perfect example of a seemingly equal situation, which turns out to be anything but. While the policies imposed in the criminal justice system have an effect on all Americans, they affect men and women in extremely dissimilar manners. By looking at the United States' history of females in the criminal justice system, the social manipulation of these females and the everlasting affects that incarceration have on all women, both in and out of prison, this essay will explore the use of the criminal justice system as simply another form of control from which there is no hope of escape. This system of control then leads to the examination of the everlasting, yet never successful, female struggle to balance the private sphere of domesticity with the public sphere of society and the criminal justice system's attempt to keep women within the boundaries of the private.
Bernie Madoff is one of the greatest conman in history. The Bernie Madoff scandal takes the gold as one of the top ponzi scheme in America. Madoff started the Wall Street firm, Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC, in 1960. Starting off as a penny stock trader with five thousand dollars, earned from his workings as a lifeguard and sprinkler installer, his firm began to grow with the support of his father-in-law, Saul Alpern, who helped by referred a group of close friends and family. Originally, his firm made markets by the National Quotations Bureau’s Pink Sheets. However, in order to compete with the bigger firms that were trading on the New York Stock Exchange floor, his firm started to use very intelligent computer software that help distributed their quotes in second’s rater then minutes. This software later became the NASDAQ that we know today. In December of 2008 Bernard Madoff confessed that he had embezzling billions of dollars from investors. It is estimated to have lasted nearly two decades, and stolen approximately $64.8 billion. On December 11, 2008 he was arreste...
In today’s society, criminal justice professionals contribute their services to a variety of social issues. A social issue is defined as society’s perception of one’s personal life, also known as a social problem or a social situation. Professionals with our criminal justice system enforce laws, promote good community relations, and are in charge of people’s safety. Three social issues affecting our criminal justice system are being addressed with examples; sex offenses, drug abuse, and hate crimes. There is a wide scope of social issues, yet these three have been chosen to inform one of what they are, how the laws apply, and the impact they have within society.
In the previous years the number of incarcerated women have increased drastically. According to the authors the recent change in arrest patterns could be because of the constructionist approach which focuses on shifts in law enforcement practices or other mechanisms of crime control to explain changes in arrest patterns.” (Schwartz, Steffensmeir & Feldmeyer, Pg.9) According to Beth Richie, “ women constitute a small fraction of the total population but the number of women incarceration rates are growing more significantly then their male counterparts… Women constituted for 16% of all people detained in correctional facilities.” (Beth Richie, Pg.2) Compared to why men are put in prison majority of women are put in prison because of drug offenses,
Social justice is the fair and just relation between the individual and society. This is measured by the explicit and tacit terms for the distribution of wealth, opportunities for personal activity and social privileges. In western as well as in Asian cultures, the concept of social justice has often referred to the process of ensuring that individuals fulfill their societal roles and receive what was their due from society. Today social justice lies in between the balance of chaos and insanity. In what possible way could law enforcement be viewed as criminals while professional athletes who show no respect to the country that pays them millions of dollars be viewed as political figures and heroes?
I myself had a very hard time trying to find reliable, proper information pertaining to this topic. Although, this is most likely due to the very scarce information and research conducted on the deep web, as well as the fact that I absolutely refuse to set foot in the Deep Web. Nonetheless, the main purpose of this research was to explain: What the Deep Web is, what and how someone accesses it, the history behind Tor, the history and issues surrounding cryptocurrency, and the problems that web anonymity brings, as well as the positive and negative attributes of the Deep Web. I neither condone nor do I disapprove of the usage of the deep web, so long as it strictly abides with the law. Furthermore, I do not recommend that the technologically inexperienced venture into the Deep, Dark Web without having first gained enough proper knowledge. In closing; my only recommendations would be not to visit the Deep, Dark web to begin with, and it is wise to practice using common sense, because common sense, whether it is on the Surface web, Deep Web, or even “real-life”, can prevent a lot of nuisances and
It is very important to understand sleep to then understand the effects of shift work and to understand how to increase safety. There is very little knowledge about why we need a normal sleep cycle that include sleeping at night, but even less is known about the sleep cycles of those who try to sleep during the day and go to work during the long night. All the studies are not clear about what is the correct amount of sleep is actually required for a healthy lifestyle. As you look there the research there are result that show long natural sleepers and short sleepers have increase in mortality stats.