James Montgomery Commemorative Speech

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As billionaire, playboy and philanthropist, James Montgomery, I hereby say that this deserted island sucks. As many of you have probably already found out watching the news, the handsome and amazing James Montgomery the Third has been missing for 2 weeks, when his cruise liner, the SS Amazing James, went down in the pacific ocean. I know many of you citizens cannot contain your grief and horror about never seeing my pretty face ever again, but do not fear I am still alive and my face is still intact so you can stop worrying. Many of you might be wondering how I survived my ship going down, well let me tell you it is a story of heroism and bravery that will be told for centuries. As you may know two weeks ago I had a party aboard may ship for

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