Is Avoiding The Grieving Process In Patrick Ness A Monster Calls

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Introduction
A Monster Calls, by Patrick Ness, is an awful book. Not the kind of awful that is synonymous with terrible, but nearer along the lines of awe-inspiring. This story leaves you with a sense of awe- awe of the pain that a boy can experience, and astonishment at the power that the truth can have. The story is awful, since the protagonist’s mother is dying from cancer. The entire novel relates the struggles that Conor, the protagonist, faces as he slowly loses his mother. From dealing with bullies, an absent father, and a cold grandmother, Conor encounters seemingly endless hardships. He begins to crack under the pressure, and then begins to have a terrible nightmare every night. What he does in that dream racks him with guilt, and …show more content…

Couldn’t one just avoid the whole process, as well as all the pain involved? However, there is no avoiding the process. According to Dreyfus, the process is natural and is a byproduct of being attached to anyone or anything. Whenever one loses someone they were attached to, they mourn that loss, or grieve it (Dreyfus). Avoiding the grieving process is futile, since it is so closely related to our abilities to form emotional attachments. Therefore, “If we do not allow ourselves to grieve, we will stunt our ability to attach... If we do not grieve effectively, we stunt our own growth and will find it difficult to attach again”(Dreyfus). By any avoidance of the grieving process, we will simply hurt ourselves in the future. An example of this is found on page 163, when Conor enters his mother’s hospital room, “He pushed open the door, fearing the worst. But his mum was awake… she was smiling… [but] he saw that the smile didn’t match her eyes… And they wouldn’t have pulled him out of school to tell him she was feeling a little bit better”(Ness). Since he had been avoiding accepting his mother’s fate up until this point, Conor is nearly crippled by the sudden, crushing truth that he now has no option but to face her death. The only way to move past his grief, and past one’s own, is by confronting it through the grieving

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