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Psychological expressions of grief
The management of grief
The management of grief
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The Suddenness of Death When dealing with death individuals have different methods of coping with grief in order to make the mourning period more tolerable. Certain factors allow people to heal faster than others. In “Management of Grief” by Bharati Mukherjee, the protagonist Shaila manages to accept the death of her family and move on with her life. However, in “Death by Landscape” by Margaret Atwood, the main character, Lois has immense difficulty accepting the death of her best friend which causes her to lose meaning in her own life. Both Shaila and Lois deal with the same effects of grief which includes denial, finding closure, and feeling dissatisfied with their lives, however one is able to move forward while the other is not due to their specific positions. Death is a very traumatic devastating matter that can have distinct effects on people. Depending on how the ones impacted handle life after death they can either accept it or let it destroy their lives. Denial is a very common reaction after a loved one passes away. It is even …show more content…
In “Death by Landscape” when Lois grows old she still feels there is a part absent from her life which leads to her missing out on her own life. Lois throughout her whole life thought about Lucy “as if she was listening for another voice, the voice of a person who should have been there but was not” (23). Whereas in the “Management of Grief” some relatives of the deceased are quick to move on “the widowers among us are being shown new bride candidate” (1191). Shaila lives in a culture that focuses on moving on after death and starting a new life oppose to Lois who can quietly grieve and focus on the past and no one will notice. Shaila is able to move on because she is surrounded by other people who are moving on as well meanwhile Lois is alone while dealing with the death of her best friend and cannot relate with other
In “Whoever We Are, Loss Finds us and Defines Us”, by Anna Quindlen, she brings forth the discussion grief's grip on the lives of the living. Wounds of death can heal with the passing of time, but in this instance, the hurt lives on. Published in New York, New York on June 5, 1994, this is one of many Quindlen published in the New York Times, centered on death's aftermath. This article, written in response to the death of Quindlen’s sister-in-law, and is focused on an audience who has, currently is, or will experience death. Quindlen-a columnist for the New York Times and Newsweek, Pulitzer Prize winner and author-has written six bestselling novels (Every Last One, Rise and Shine, Object Lessons, One True Thing, and Black and Blue) and has been published in the New York Times and Newsweek.
At some point in everybody’s life they feel the sorrow and anguish of losing somebody. The the stories “Nashville Gone to Ashes” and “When It’s Human Instead of When It’s Dog”, both a widow and widower are not able to move on with their life after the loss of their loved one. In both cases the mister and the widow both come to the conclusion that their significant other is not coming back leading them to find ways to cope with their deaths, move on and function the best they can with their lives.
Overcoming the grief that is felt after losing a loved one is a physically and mentally agonizing task. According to Dr. Christina Hibbert, a clinical psychologist who graduated from the California School of Professional Psychology, three main stages of grief include anger, depression and acceptance. Each one of these emotions can be seen in William Shakespeare’s Hamlet and The Descendants (2011, Payne) as the artists explore the effects of grief and the different emotional responses that one can have due to the loss of a loved one. Additionally, in Ismail Kadare’s Broken April, the Berisha family feels the sufferance that is associated with unexpected death, as well as the various temperamental reactions that one will have after losing a loved one. Each of these works of art represent a powerful example of the stages that one will go through after feeling the intense sorrow that is connected with death, as well as the unavoidable effects of grief.
Denial was also used through the novel as a defense mechanism so that the person can protect themselves from the pain he or she was feeling at that point in time. When Oskar father Thomas Schelle, has gone missing him and his mother both decided it would be a good idea to “fill a suitcase with a poster of Oskar's father and post them all around town they refused to believe that Thomas could have been dead”(For 229). When Oscar and his mother put up these posters it gave them a sense of belief and hope that their loved one may still be alive. Another person the denied the death of a loved one was Oskar grandfather, they believed he was“trying to remake the girl he knew seven years before”, his beloved Anna, who had died in the bombing of Dresden (83). Many Psychologists have said that “ People grieve because they are expecting their loved ones to magically appear even though he or she is really gone”. Living in denial is very hard for a person and it is hard to move on into their day to day routines. Denials help delay the other stages of the grief and this stage usually lasts the longest. One of the first feelings that we experience after Denial is anger. Anger comes after the numbing of shock that something bad just had happened. Oskar puts all of his anger towards his mother because he thinks that his mother does not love his father anymore because he believes she is not honouring his name and memory. Seeing his mother being happy and continuing on with her life makes him think that she does not miss his dad (Foer 170). Oskar was releasing all of his build up anger towards his mother because he felt that it was her fault and that she was moving on without
In 1969 Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a psychiatrist, published the Pioneering book On Death and Dying. The work acquainted the world with the grieving process, called the five stages of grief. Kübler-Ross gathered her research from studying individuals with terminal cancer (Johnson, 2007). The first stage of the grieving process is denial. In this stage the person refuses to believe that their loved one is deceased, a common thought during this period is, “This can’t be happening to me” (Johnson, 2007).The second stage of the grieving process is anger. In this level the person becomes frustrated with their circumstances, a customary complaint is “Why is this happening to me?” (Johnson, 2007). The third stage of the grieving process is bargaining. At this point the individual hopes that they can prevent their grief, this typically involves bartering with a higher power, and an ordinary observance during this time is “I will do anything to have them back” (Johnson, 2007). The fourth and most identifiable stage of grief is depression. This phase is habitually the lengthiest as...
Individually, everyone has their own methods of dealing with situations and emotions regardless of any positive or negative connotation affixed to them. One prime example of this comes with grief. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying” suggests that there are five stages of mourning and grief that are universal and, at one point or another, experienced by people from all walks of life. These stages, in no particular order, are as follows: Denial and Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. Each individual person works through these stages in different orders for varying levels of time and intensity, but most if not all are necessary to “move on.” In order for positive change to occur following a loss, one must come to terms with not only the event but also themselves.
Depression is often triggered by a negative event, such as divorce, illness, or the loss of a loved one. Grief and depression present very similar symptoms: dysphoric mood, feelings of guilt, cognitive slowness, fatigue, appetite changes, and recurrent thoughts of death. Whether a grieving person should be diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) is a matter of significant controversy among healthcare professionals.
“Denial is a conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, reality, etc., relating to the situation concerned” (Elisabeth Kübler-Ross -Five Stages of Grief, Business Balls). Denial
Throughout the history of mankind there are two main things that are guaranteed in life, taxes and death. According to researchers at Hebrews For Christians, 56,000,000 people die each year, (Parson, 2014). Many of these people die at ripe old ages while there are a plethora of young people who die slow and tragic deaths. When death occurs many people are not prepared and therefore many devastating things can result from this. People usually experience problems with their emotions, they will stress over a number of situations, and many health issues will arise. Many people become depressed for long periods of time and give up on life. Although there are people who take these experiences to heart, there are many ways a person can deal with these problems. Dealing with these problems in a healthy manner, can lead to a very healthy healing process for everyone who is being affected by it. In this research paper I will discuss three main keys points. The first key point I will discuss the stages of death in the Kubler - Ross Model. Secondly I will discuss is the psychological effect of how death can effect people in many different ways. Third and final, I will show you many different ways a person can deal with grief.
Everyone has or will experience a loss of a loved one sometime in their lives. It is all a part of the cycle of life and death. The ways each person copes with this loss may differ, but according to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s novel On Death and Dying, a person experiences several stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, finally, acceptance. There is no set time for a person to go through each stage because everyone experiences and copes with grief differently. However, everyone goes through the same general feelings of grief and loss. There are also sections in Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet” that connect to the process of grieving: “On Pain,” “On Joy and Sorrow,” and “On Talking.” Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet” reflects on Kübler-Ross’s model of the different stages of grief and loss.
It is common for those experiencing grief to deny the death altogether. Many people do this by avoiding situations and places that remind them of the deceased (Leming & Dickinson, 2016). However, by simply avoiding the topic of death and pain, the mourner only achieves temporary relief while in turn creating more permanent lasting agony (Rich, 2005). In this stage, mourners will begin to feel the full weight of the circumstance. Whether the death of a loved one was sudden or long-term, survivors will feel a full range of emotions, such as sadness, guilt, anger, frustration, hopelessness, or grief. While many of these emotions can cause serious suffering, it is important for the survivor to feel whatever emotions come up and deal with those feelings, rather than trying to suppress any
Leming, M., & Dickinson, G. (2011). Understanding dying, death, & bereavement. (7th ed., pp. 471-4). Belmont, California: Wadsworth.
Often when a person suffers through a tragic loss of a loved one in his or her life they never fully recover to move on. Death is one of hardest experiences a person in life ever goes through. Only the strong minded people are the ones that are able to move on from it whereas the weak ones never recover from the loss of a loved one. In the novel The Sweet Hereafter by Russell Banks, character Billy Ansel – having lost his family serves as the best example of brokenness after experiencing death. Whether it is turning to substance abuse, using his memory to escape reality or using Risa Walker as a sexual escape, Billy Ansel never fully recovers from the death of his twins and his wife. This close analysis of Billy’s struggle with death becomes an important lesson for all readers. When dealing with tragedies humans believe they have the moral strength to handle them and move on by themselves but, what they do not realize is that they need someone by their side to help them overcome death. Using unhealthy coping mechanism only leads to life full of grief and depression.
The characters in Alice Sebold’s The Lovely Bones are faced with the difficult task of overcoming the loss of Susie, their daughter and sister. Jack, Abigail, Buckley, and Lindsey each deal with the loss differently. However, it is Susie who has the most difficulty accepting the loss of her own life. Several psychologists separate the grieving process into two main categories: intuitive and instrumental grievers. Intuitive grievers communicate their emotional distress and “experience, express, and adapt to grief on a very affective level” (Doka, par. 27). Instrumental grievers focus their attention towards an activity, whether it is into work or into a hobby, usually relating to the loss (Doka par. 28). Although each character deals with their grief differently, there is one common denominator: the reaction of one affects all.
The stages of death are known to be a process of mourning that is experienced by individuals from all phases of life. This mourning ensues from an individual’s own death or the death of a loved one. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross dedicated much of her career to studying this dying process and in turn created the five stages of death. The five stages are; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These stages may not occur in sequence and sometimes may intersect with one another (Axelrod, 2006). The reality of death many times causes a feeling of denial; this is known as the first stage. In this stage, people have many emotions and have a tendency to hide from reality. This reaction is momentary, but should not be rushed. The patient or loved one needs time to adjust to the awaiting death. This adjustment helps bring them through to the next stage; anger. Anger is a common feeling and many times routes from a feeling of not being ready. This emotion may be directed toward God, strangers, friends, family or even healthcare professionals (Purcell, 2006). In some cases, it can be targeted...