Irrelationship And Codependency

Humans are gregarious, integrations with others and get involved in a relationship is important for people to live a normal life. However, due to the complex nature of human, there are many kinds of relationships and some of them are unhealthy to people. Two types of the relationships are irrelationship and co-dependency which could lead the relationship become unhealthy and they are mutually inclusive, but people could get a sense of security in such relationships.
First of all, what are irrelationship and co-dependent relationship? Irrelationship is a defence mechanism, which happens without awareness, to help people avoid anxiety, intimacy and investment in developing a relationship further(Brenner). Different from irrelationship, co-dependency

Both of irrelationship and co-dependency need both sides of a relationship to acquiesce to maintain the state of these two kins of relationships. In a codependent relationship, one side is always more powerful than the other, which may take the other side as “weak” and “vulnerable,” however, in irrelationship none of the two sides will consider themselves as a victim in this relationship, instead, they both agree on this kind of relationship as a plan they made together. Therefore, for people who are in an irrelationship, they could also have problems with co-dependency, as long as both of the people who involves in the relationship agree to behave co-dependently in an irrelationship. For example, a couple in an irrelationship may not want to develop a mutually satisfying relationship further by not showing their true selves, which might be caused by co-dependency as a learned behaviour of this couple. Thus, irrelationship and codependent relationship are mutually inclusive to each

When a relationship is defined to be unhealthy, it makes the people in that relationship feels stressful and could harm one’s physical health, mental health and self esteem(Brown, KLT). Usually, in an unhealthy relationship, people could experience dynamics like controlling behaviour , abusive behaviour, irresponsible behaviour, isolating behaviour and so on(Brown, KLT). These behaviours are easy to be noticed when people are not involved in the unhealthy relationship, but once people are already in an unhealthy relationship, they are hard to be realised and fixed. Then, how can irrelationship and co-dependency be related to unhealthy relationships? The answer is in their symptoms. A co-dependent person has low self-esteems who has difficulties in putting his or her personal feelings and interests over the others. People who are co-dependent have good intentions in their behaviours that they want people around them to feel happy therefore they could be valued as being needed by others (Mental Health America). However, people like them need to express themselves from time to time.Which lead some of them to alcohol, cigarets,and drugs, others may become workaholism, indulge in gambling or have sexual activity indiscriminatingly (Mental Health America). People who are codependent could be both the injurer and the victims in an unhealthy