Pros And Cons Of A New Leaf

According to the “Merriam-Webster”, codependency is a psychological condition or relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (as an addiction ); dependence on the needs of our control by another. Many people rely on other people or substances to make them happy. Within “A New Leaf” written by F. Scott Fitzgerald we learn what makes people codependent on other people, the pros and cons of codependency, and resources to help overcome codependency.

In the short story “A New Leaf” by F. Scott Fitzgerald we learn about what makes people codependent on other people. In the story, Dick is dependent on the needs of alcohol till he meets Julia. The couple soon fall in love which one another, and Dick becomes overly dependent on Julia so he does not drink. When Julia left to California, Dick became dependent on anything to take his mind of not having Julia. "Try and understand. Those terribly lonely evenings. I think if it hadn't been for Esther, I'd have fallen off the wagon. I never loved her--I never loved anybody but you--but I had to see somebody who liked me.( F. Scott Fitzgerald 3) This

direct quote, states that Dick obviously knew that sleeping with Ester was wrong, but he “had” to so he would not fall off the wagon. According to the “PsychCentral” what makes people codependent narrows down so a few symptoms: low self-esteem, you are a people pleaser, have poor boundaries, reactivity, caretaking ,control, dysfunctional communication, obsessions, dependency, denial, problems with intimacy, and painful emotions.

We normally think that codependency strictly means that it’s a negative thing, but in some cases I can be good.

For instance, the situation in which Dick becomes codependent on Julia to help with his drinking; it is bad that Dick is completely dependent on Julia, but its helping him in the long run by not drinking. A pro for codependency can be a good thing in some scenarios. Take as if you were in a relationship with someone who is codependent along with yourself, you and your partner would be equally obsessed with each other. (Pros and Cons of Codependent Relationships) A con of codependency is that many codependents are passive aggressive and will jump from one extreme to the other when talking to the other person. They also are prone to playing the role of the victim or martyr in an

argument.

Lastly, regardless if codependency in shown upon in a positive light or negative light its something that you should overcome. There are four major steps that help overcome codependency.(Recovery.org) Step 1 is being aware, denial is the cornerstone for both addiction and codependency. Most codependents do not realize what they are doing or how they are feeling making it impossible to truly understand what the codependent is doing to themselves and others. Step 2 is to accept your value; once you understand that you are important it makes it easier to accept your value. People with codependency is typically characterized by feelings of low self-esteem, helplessness, and inadequacy. Step 3 is to redefine relationship roles: in many situations, role of caretaking offers loved ones a feeling of control and relevance. Having a healthly relationship with a friend or a concerned parent rather than someone your codependent on makes it easier to form relationships. Step 4 is take action; the final step is breaking the cycle of codependence.