In Persuasion Nation: Mcdonald's Double Quarter Pounder With Cheese

2. Look back at "In Persuasion Nation." Write a number of advertisements for real (or imagined but realistic) products in the same fashion.
McDonald’s Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese
A man walks out of McDonald’s his Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese held firmly between both hands. As he moves it to his face to take a bite, a raccoon jumps onto his shoulder, snatches it from his hands, and scampers away. “HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY CHEESEBURGER” screams the man indignantly and begins his moving his 300-pound frame in the direction of the rapidly disappearing raccoon. “I’ll never catch that raccoon…wait!”, he suddenly remembers the fries in his pockets. He quickly shoves a few into his mouth and instantly is filled with energy and begins to glow

with red and yellow power. He sprints toward the raccoon, covering the ground faster than Usain Bolt ever could. The raccoon looks up in fear as a massive form blots out the sunlight above him. With a mighty roar, the man picks up the raccoon rips it in half and tosses the pieces into the nearest dumpster. He picks up the dropped burger and takes a massive bite. He roars with approval as his body adds another 100 pounds. He leaps a thousand feet into the air and lands right next to his car, creating a 2-meter-deep crater. A green triangle blots out the sun as a disturbingly soft voice emanates from its center says “The new Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese will let you pound your enemies into cheese!”

Alienware

“Open your present,” says the dad excitedly. “You’re going to love it” add the mom. The son quickly rips apart the wrapping to reveal an Alienware computer still in its box. “Thanks so much, you guys are the best!” exclaims the son and rushes upstairs to his bedroom. “What about the cake?” asks the mom as she hears the boy’s bedroom door close. In the bedroom, the son quickly unpacks the Alienware. His hands shake as he plugs the power cord into an outlet and plugs in the computer. As he opens up the computer, his eyes glimmer with excitement, his whole body shakes with anticipation. He presses the power button, and blue light explodes from the screen. He is instantly transported to an outer space arena. He is covered from head to toe in alien armor and a sword and shield appear in his hands. The arena is ovular with two gates opposite each other at the far ends. The boy stands in front of one while a 30-foot cyclops stands in front of the other. The cyclops’s armor must easily way 400 pounds. He holds a trident the size of a telephone pole in one hand and a fishing net in the other. A crowd filled with an assortment of alien creatures shouts and toss food at the boy. “The match will begin in 10! 9! 8! 7…” shouts an official on a hovering platform above the arena grounds. As he shouts begin the boy takes three steps and launches himself at the cyclops with such speed he creates a sonic boom. When the crowd uncovers their ears, they noticed the head of the cyclops drop to the ground as blood drips from the boy’s blade. The boy is instantly transported back to his bedroom. He grabs hold of his desk to support himself, his body still surging with adrenaline. He stares at the power button for a minute before reaching for it again. This time, when he presses the power button, a green light emits from the screen and a voice booms “The Ultimate realistic gaming experience!”
Fiji Water
“We’re losing him doctor!” shouts the nurse.
“If we can’t purify his body of all these toxic chemicals, he’ll die” says another nurse. “But how do we do that?” asks a third.
“I have an idea,” says the doctor and rushes out.
He comes back a minute later with a bottle of Fiji water.

He quickly hooks up an IV fills it with diet water and waits. Ten tense minutes pass before the beeping of the machines resume their natural rhythm and the patient is stabilized. Suddenly, the patient begins to radiate a pale, golden light.
“You’ve saved him doctor”, exclaims one of the nurses.
“He’s done more than that”, says another “He’s purified him, he’s as pure as Jesus now!”
The man slowly rises from the bed and sickly green light enters the room. A voice booms “Rise my son who has been baptized with the purest water on earth and rule with me in the pyramids.”
7. Re-write a scene in any Saunders story from the perspective of another character in the scene whose. perspective is not currently given
The monkey, tagged #93990, screeched with a surprise as he received his first of many intravenous doses of Borazadine. He quickly settled down and felt no adverse effects throughout the rest of the day. Though he could not interact with the other monkeys he noticed they weren’t holding up well. Some were acting strangely and seemed disoriented while others were vomiting. What scared him the most were the four that lay ominously still by the end of that day. Over the next few days, 93990 watched the rest of his fellow monkeys succumb to their symptoms. But he was also experiencing

changing.
His mind was sharper than it had ever been. After four days, he could understand English perfectly. He listened in on his captives to learn of their plans for him. They seemed extremely frustrated by the lack of discernable symptoms he showed. To keep up appearances, 93990 continued to behave like a regular monkey. But inside, his mind was racing, trying to discern not only his captive’s plan but his own escape. By day 6, the increased dosages had given him an IQ of 250. He now knew his captives were testing a drug called Borazadine and that he was sole monkey who was immune to the effects all the other monkeys were experiencing.
He spent his final days planning his escape as ever increasing dosages pushed his IQ north of 300. He pondered not only his escape but his existence. Did his life have meaning given by a higher power? For an unknown reason, thoughts of a higher power always brought up images of green triangles gazing down at him from above. Eventually, the 93900 dismissed these ideas. He determined that his infallible logic showed there was no higher power. He was a smartest being in the world and soon it would worship him as its master. But first, he had to escape. He had just come up with an acceptable plan when his cage opened and the sound of tranquilizer dart being fired reached his ears. He passed out before he hit the ground.
93990 woke up in immense pain. His body felt like it had been opened up and his organs scrambled. This was not entirely untrue; he could see his intestines hanging out of his body. As he took a stock of his surroundings, he realized he was on a moving conveyor belt, along with several other still forms. The heat was unbearable and increased with each passing second. Too late, 93900 saw the orange glow and realized what was happening. He fell into the incinerator; he did not die. The next day, when the incinerator was turned off, the wind scattered his ashes, each taking a piece of 93990’s consciousness to one-day rise again.

Top five favorite Saunders characters
5. Monkey 93990(That’s a lot of experiments lol)
Monkey 93990 is one of my favorite characters not because of his actions or choices but because of what he represents. Out of 20 monkeys, Monkey 93990 is the sole anomaly in the results of the experiment. He represents the fact that no matter how hard scientists try, you can never fit everyone into specific boxes. We are all unique in ways even scientists still do not understand and, maybe, never will. He also shows what can happen to exceptions when someone desperately wants something they prevent them from getting. Monkey 93990 reminds us that though these exceptions are frustrating they are part of nature and people are not in control of nature.

4. Eskimo (Thank goodness they didn’t call him an Indian)
The Eskimo is only a minor character. He is confined to a fictional world where every day, without fail, he must go through the traumatic experience of fighting a polar bear with an axe in front of his children. He drinks heavily and has recurring nightmares of attack his family with the same axe. What makes him my 4th favorite character is what is going on inside of his head. Many people, when forced to endure such suffering will find the nearest and most convenient scapegoat. For the Eskimo, the expected target would be the polar bear. But as we see in the story, he is not angry at the polar bear but filled with sadness that they both play in this comical but depressing scene. The Eskimo explains “This whole thing is just a big crock of shit as far as I’m concerned… I know, I know it.” (Pg.176) The Eskimo is not fooled and knows that this is doing the higher power, a common enemy.
3. Illuminati/9/11/Green Triangle (Seriously wtf is this thing?!?!?!)
I consider the triangle not only for its power but because in some perverse way, the Illuminati triangle represents the American dream. From a torn piece of a Slap-of-Wack stuck in a cactus to assuming god-like status, the triangle clawed its way to the top of the food-chain. In the eyes of characters like the polar bear, it is GOD. It was now in charge of the very system that had brought it great misfortune and suffering. A system that prided itself on the exploitation of people and things just like the piece of plastic the Illuminati triangle was. This sort of irony is prevalent throughout in Persuasion Nation.
2.Giff (Giff or Giff)
Giff is my second favorite character not only because of his complexity but his noticeable change in character at the end of the story. Initially, Giff comes across as zealous Christian. One who is intent on forcing his views and beliefs upon others, sometimes in inconsiderate or even offensive ways. He goes as far as to say if Rimney’s disabled wife would be healed simply by Rimney praying more often. He is intent on converting his coworkers without considering their perspective. But after his murder at the hands of Rimney, he changes. Instead of simply visiting his wife, he visits the parents of Rick because he knows in the end, that will save them all. Giff’s transformation into such a selfless person and willingness to sacrifice his personal desires for the good of others is truly remarkable and inspiring.
1. Polar Bear (Would suck to have his job lmao)
Last, but the opposite of least, is the polar bear. This comical character is my favorite because of the questions he brings up, his ability to begin thinking for himself, and his struggle to find the truth. Having an axe in your head isn’t exactly conducive to deep thought, but the polar bear is able to discover things about his world that change everything. He finds the meaning behind his world’s existence. “Was selling what all that suffering was a bout? Selling? Selling RugBrite, selling AllerNase?” (Pg.177). But what is most impressive is the depths the polar bear is willing to go to prove his points. This illustrated when he jumps off the cliff. The failure of the Illuminati triangle to notice allows him to prove the triangle is a fame god, who has deceived him and others. Without hesitation he attempts to warn the others. “‘The green symbol is a false GOD!’ he shouts. ‘A false GOD, obsessed with violence and domination! Reject him!’” (Pg.179). His bravery and refusal to conform to ridiculous standards should not be confined to this fictional world but something people in our world should strive for too.