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Communication as a key to successful relationship
Communication as a key to successful relationship
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A Recipe For Marriage
In today’s society you see so many people getting married, but they don’t seem to think about the importance of what marriage is really about. Although I have been married for almost twenty-eight years, when I first married I really had no idea what marriage entailed. The recipe for marriage should consist of communication, love and support for one another. These three items are I believe are the strongest and most important that a couple should be aware of or even possibly think about before tying that knot.
I am sure we all know how to communicate with one another. Even though being married is a whole new recipe. When we talk to one another it lets both sides have a better feel of the other. Although we at times may not be on the same page; by communicating we can figure them out. Heated arguments are an example of communication. We have all had arguments; but having an argument with a husband or wife is different in comparison to a friend down the street. My husband and I agreed a long time ago that we would never go to bed at one another, and for twenty e...
Marriage is the beginning of family life, culmination of a period of seeking a mate, and realization of a major goal.
Communications generally occur in body languages: how the individuals interpret each other. Her essay is an event that is reoccurring more and more lately. The event results in a failure in marriage. In today’s society more and more people are splitting up or having divorces due to miscommunications. The essay, “Sex, Lies and Conversation,” that Deborah Tannen wrote is much use of today because it explains where miscommunications happen and she has her own studies and research to back it up. The essay goes into depth about her ideologies that cause miscommunications. Look at a miscommunication twice and do not be quick to judge because it will save plenty of
If man and the woman both had the same communication ways they would be more successful in marriage. Many of the communication issues are brought up in the article “Sex, Lies, and Conversation by Deborah Tannen.” Tannen states that men and women argue with one another over communication which leads to marital problems and divorce. Men and women have different viewpoints on communication. Women see bad communication as the one of the major reasons for divorce. Also the way men and women communicate are very different. Men are very different than women they do not like to communicate as much like women. Men don’t talk about their problems and women love to talk about them. Communication is seen as one major cause leading to a relationship failure. When couples get married the women is always looking for a good comuincator.
Human beings are not isolated individuals. We do not wander through a landscape of trees and dunes alone, reveling in our own thoughts. Rather, we need relationships with other human beings to give us a sense of support and guidance. We are social beings, who need talk and company almost as much as we need food and sleep. We need others so much, that we have developed a custom that will insure company: marriage. Marriage assures each of us of company and association, even if it is not always positive and helpful. Unfortunately, the great majority of marriages are not paragons of support. Instead, they hold danger and barbs for both members. Only the best marriages improve both partners. So when we look at all three of Janie’s marriages, only her marriage to Teacake shows the support, guidance, and love.
Marriage is a commitment that couples vow to love each other, and committed during their toughest times. Chris Offutt, the author of the short story called "Aunt Granny Lith" explains the trials and choices in a marriage between the couple Beth and Casey. Three parts in marriage are vital: communication, trust in one another, and unconditional love. All three elements will lead to a successful marriage. Marriage is what you put into your relationship not what you can get out of it. It is a team effort. Couples shouldn 't give 50/50 they should give 100/100 effort into marriage. Offutt describes these three parts throughout the story.
Marriage in the United States is thought to be a very important event because it is the celebration of two people professing their love for each other, and vowing to be with one another for the rest of their lives. Although each person vows that they will support each other no matter the situation, sometimes that are certain obstacles that will pull two people apart. In Chosen Place, Timeless People by Paul Marshall, Running in the Family by Michael Ondaatje, and King Lear by William Shakespeare, it is shown that although marriage is often seen as a sacred thing, sometimes marriage is not as solid as everyone may think it is, and that it may actually break very easily. Marriage connects two people together, but it may not last forever.
Is marriage really important? There is a lot of controversy over marriage and whether it is eminent. Some people believe it is and some people believe it is not. These opposing opinions cause this controversy. “On Not Saying ‘I do’” by Dorian Solot explains that marriage is not needed to sustain a relationship or a necessity to keep it healthy and happy. Solot believes that when a couple gets married things change. In “For Better, For Worse”, Stephanie Coontz expresses that marriage is not what is traditional in society because it has changed and is no longer considered as a dictator for people’s lives. The differences between these two essays are the author’s writing style and ideas.
There are movies, books, songs, poems, and even a holiday devoted to love. However, the concept of love that seems to be greatly glorified by our own society is also heavily binded by expectations that come from ignorance or beliefs. These restrictions are mirrored by the restriction that marriage seems to face due to the heavily embedded notion that marriage is the prioritized outcome of love. However, as many authors such as Meghan O’Rourke bring up, marriage seems to have grown old and might need to be renewed or replaced in some way. (O’Rourke, 2013) Some of the suggestions that are brought up in O’Rourke’s review, “The Marriage Trap,” seem to be a bit radical, but these suggestions are not to be ignored. While a new standard would be hard to implement completely, the concept of a more liberal form of marriage that removed the restrictions from its infrastructure would provide a less oppressive environment in the world that would let love more openly thrive. The failings of love as a whole are heavily connected with the failings of marriage in our society, and we should to be more honest about these failings because it would reveal the disconnect that love and marriage have always had between them and could allow for changes that would allow society to remove the roots of misogyny and discrimination while allowing true love to
Marriage was once for the sole purpose of procreation and financially intensives. Living up to the roles that society had placed on married couples, more so women, is no longer the goal in marriage. Being emotional satisfied, having a fulfilled sex life and earning money is more important in marriage (Cherlin, 2013). Couples no longer feel the obligation to put the needs of their partner in front of their own needs. In the 1960’s and later it was the woman’s job to ensure that the house was clean, the children were bathed and dinner was prepared before the husband came home work. However, once more and more women began to enter the workplace and gain more independence, a desire for self-development and shared roles in the household lead way the individualistic marriage that is present in today’s society (Cherlin,
Tradition is a strong component in the institution of marriage. The ideal American dream usually involves the perfect fairy-tale wedding with the gorgeous white wedding dress for the bride, the matching bridesmaids, the well-arranged bouquet and the numerous rituals that compose this well thought-out event. Usually it requires a great amount of planning, devotion and dollars to make the important day memorable. Family and friends come together to rejoice in the vows that will bond the two lovers into a lifetime journey of love, commitment and fidelity. Each person in the couple is expected to have a role in this institution. According to Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, “in the idealized form of the older model of traditional marriage, the man’s primary job for self-definition is to provide for the economic well-being, protection, and stability of his family ...The woman’s job and self-definition”, on the other hand, continue Wallerstein and Blakeslee, “is to care for her husband and children and to create a comfortable home that nourishes everyone, particularly her husband, who comes home each evening drained by the demands of his job (211).” With a constantly changing society, the concept of marriage has also varied. The “quickie” Vegas drive-through wedding or the underwater vow exchange is not as unusual or shocking as it once was. Even the roles of the persons involved have changed to fit the shape of society’s needs. For example the modern “companionate marriage” which is “founded on the couple’s shared beliefs that men and women are equal partners in all spheres of life and that their roles, including those of marriage, are completely interchangeable (Wallerstein, Blakeslee 155).
In the book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999) John M. Gottman provides insight on the seven fundamental tools to construct positive relationships. Through long years of research, Gottman studied married couples and noted degenerative behaviors that hindered the formation and attainment of a long and healthy marriage. Gottman research focused on several key behavioral predictors of divorce, which he calls the “The Four Horsemen”; Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
Before I finish, I would like to offer my own advice for a happy and successful marriage, now just because I’m not married or never have been it doesn’t mean to say I am now not an expert on it.
A good marriage thrives on the open exchange of emotion, desires, and beliefs; In fact, communication is one of the most important aspects of a satisfying marriage (Marriage Communication: How Does It Work?). The rate of satisfaction in marriage is higher for husbands and wives when both regularly maintain religious attendance and feel that God is the center of their marriage (The state of Our Unions 2011, 31, 33 and Why Marriage Matters: Facts and Figures). Having a strong belief in your faith can help strengthen the communication and commitment to a marriage. Having a clear line of communication is key. Trust is the foundation of a marriage, and the basis of all lines of emotion that result from the feeling you get from knowing you can rely on the person you marry to honor their vows faithfully. Without trust and communication, a marriage will struggle and have a reduced chance of
The most important reason of marriage and what we look for in it is commitment and love. The idea of commitment, love, and marriage, is to find someone that loves us for who we are and what we do. Our marriage partner is someone who will respect, trust, and depend on us when time in need. A Mississippi State student Kyle Waltman talks about his essay, “Saying ‘I Love You’” he writes, “Loving someone is a constant conscious choice to show kindness, respect, loyalty, compassion, forgiveness, and appreciation for that person regardless of circumstance (348). Arguably, that is one of the easiest ways to understand the concept of committing and loving. When loving someone an extreme amount we decide to ask him or her the “big question”, this is the one of
At no point in life can you be perfect at anything, but you can prepare yourself for the adventures of life. One of life’s biggest challenges is marriage. Marriage requires preparation emotionally and spiritually. Marriage is considered to be one of the hardest aspects of life to control. Merging two different customary lifestyles into one can be difficult especially since the feelings of both are involved. I have learned both the numerous ways to destroy and build a successful marriage. Marriage is the union of man and woman becoming as one flesh according to God’s law and the law of the land.