“AWW! How long did you guys last? Two weeks?!?” That is just one of the many conversations made among those going through a divorce. Yes. I get it, sometimes things don’t quite work out the way it was intended to, but do you blame it on the two people within the marriage, or the document signed? After all, can a piece of paper really make your wife cheat on you or even cause the arguments between you two? Marriage isn’t anything to be taken lightly whatsoever. It’s just not papers you sign to get it out of the way, it’s a commitment made between you and the one you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with.
Now, when some things don’t go as planned, we all need to realize that it was wrong on the couple’s end, whether it be they didn’t work things out or the whole relationship was doomed from the beginning. The signed paper doesn’t cause all these divorces we may witness or hear on the news about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, it’s the people and the situations they have to deal with. We shouldn’t base us not wanting to get married all because one of our role model’s marriages didn’t work. Rather, we must think that they can do better, as
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Even if you’re an expert in writing or reading, it was your cognitive abilities that helped you be so awesome. Marriage is similar, you live and you learn with your one and only. Marriage, the event itself, is the expression of you and your supposed to be partner for life. It’s all about the love two people have for one another. We shouldn’t base things off of movie cliches, rather realize that it’s the real deal and shouldn’t be taken lightly. I believe that’s the issue with the countless divorces going on now a days, there’s no sense of forgiveness and preparedness for how serious things are about to be. Divorces aren’t such a bad thing when you look at it from a certain view. Just think of it as being one person closer to the one you’re truly supposed to be
Along with these feelings of rejection, the spouse who wanted to stay married also often feels betrayed. Their partner vowed to love and honor them forever, and to stand by them in sickness and in health, and to devote their lives to them. With divorce, all of that is taken away. Those promises of love, fidelity, and companionship are broken, by the choice of the spouse pursuing the divorce. In contrast, when d...
In this text, Deal (2014) explains that “one of the great ironies of divorce” (p. 130) is the need to cooperate with the ex-spouse, even if you hated him before the divorce. My family shows the complexity that divorce can bring to a family’s life, and the adults need to constantly monitor their own attitudes for the sake of the children. Deal encourages building communication and flexibility; however, his reminder to accept that neither co-parent can control the other’s household decision is one of
Divorce is and has become a major issue in our society, the reason for that has been attributed to the drastic increase in divorce rates over the years. The most commonly reported major contributors to divorce were lack of commitment, infidelity, and conflict/arguing. The most common “final straw” reasons were infidelity, domestic violence, and substance use (Scott, Rhoades, Stanley, Allen, & Markman, 2013). Divorce often disrupts the flow of the family structure, increases discord, and affects how family issues are handled. Families dealing with divorce are often times in a state of complete confusion and disorder, and filled with frustration, anger, and pain. Power struggles between spouses, which often times spread to the children if there
For those who are heading in the direction of a divorce should take a lot of time to think over things before getting a divorced. A divorce can seriously effect many in negative ways that will change their lives forever. So therefore, divorce should be thought about twice before any one decides to go through it. If a marriage is having any problems its best for them to talk it out or seek some professional help to deal with the problems before it destroys the marriage.
Therefore, divorce should be a last resort because it brings nothing but such pain, and affects each individual directly involved in the divorce. For one, divorce causes trauma and exhaustion. Medved states, "The process of evaluating the injuries-of cajoling and pleading and threatening-is emotionally exhausting. The physical act of packing and moving out is traumatic. And from there the trauma escalates"(664). According to this quote divorce causes more pain than closure, leaving both in distress. Furthermore, it affects future relationships. In fact, according to Medved, it brings indefinite "distrust, agony, and bitterness"(665). It is harder to move on, and to find a new partner, when a person's trust and hope has suddenly turned into nothing but a distant memory. Lastly, divorce can cause many different types of psychological disorders including depression, separation anxiety, adjustment disorder, and so on. These are disorders that are difficult, if not impossible to cure. Even though difficult for her to share, Medved writes "Even though I found a satisfying relationship, I am still paying the price of my divorce... I am embarrassed and ashamed."(668) No matter the amount of time passed, the pain and the aftermath of it all, will permanently stay a part of a person involved in a
I think that there are ways to save a marriage, but too often, married couples divorce because it is the easy way out of an unhappy situation. In this case, both parents put their desire for happiness before the needs of their family as a whole. I believe that other solutions are both possible and effective. One of my main reasons for believing this is because of my religion. I believe that when a man and woman marry, it is for time and all eternity.
Everyone goes through a divorce differently, but there is no doubt that divorce is hard for everyone involved. The people who suffer the most are always the children. They are the future and they need to reach their full potential. By making good decisions, we can raise them to far exceed their full potential. By being educated on divorce we make better decisions about marital problems. Hopefully people will think twice about the future effects for them and their family before they ask for a divorce. Remember, a divorce affects everyone involved, and those affects are almost always negative.
As an adult, we sometimes forget what it is like to be a child dealing with some of the childhood pressures. Many parents do not realize how something like divorce could possibly
“Studies show 35% of people who marry get a divorce, and 18% of those divorced are divorced multiple times” Clinton, Hart, & Ohlschlager, (2005). The rate of divorce of United States families continues to increase and is one of the most perplexing experiences for children. There are many reasons couples decide to end their ties to each other. Whatever the reasons, ending a relationship means that all individual that has ties to each other must adjust to a new way of living. The married couple may experience the stages of loss, such as, the experience of grief. Additionally, their young children will undergo these feelings too! It is vital that couples with children seek guidance and understanding on how to help the entire family deal and cope with the emotional process and stages of grief of their divorce.
The importance placed on fidelity has probably never been higher than it is today. In Stephanie Coontz’s essay, “Five Myths about Marriage,” she states that according to a 2010 Gallup Poll that only 23% of Americans believe that divorce is morally wrong, while 92% believe it is immoral for married men and women to have an affair. Mary Malone, a married high school teacher says, “Based on my own life experiences, I can name several examples in which a couple, with and without children, divorced instead of having an affair and hiding it from one of the spouses. They filed for a non-contest divorce to acknowledge that the fidelity piece of the vows could no longer be upheld” (M. Malone, personal communication, January 16,
When he or she mention they are going through or has been through a “Divorce”, we as human beings feels sympathetic to that person. Divorce is by no means a pleasant experience to male or female. The Dictionary defines divorce as “formal separation of husband and wife according to established custom” (Dictionary). For those who have not experienced it can not be compared themselves to it. Davis talks about in his article “Marriage: Seasons of Marriage”, that marriage is a life long experience however for some the experience runs short, like myself have recently went through a divorce. “Expert or not, marriage is hard work, At times you consider quitting. Creating a lasting marriage is a humbling experience. It is part skill, part luck, elbow grease and blind determination” (Davis). It turned my life around for the better. Sometimes people change for the better when he or she experience it. Billy Collins poem Divorce, talks about a couple going through a divorce using imagery, tone and
Many different factors play into why the divorce even started to pop up in the first place.
To truly understand, I would have to take you back, about a year, to the divorce of my first husband. We had gotten married at a young age and we were just short of one decade, and three children in. The reasons for the divorce are not the story here, just that after many unhappy years I decided to break free. So, here
Infidelity, dishonesty, addiction, abuse, and priority changes are all the most common reasons people get divorced and in some cases it’s all or some of them combined. In an article written in the Huffington Post by Kim Olver, she states the many expectation people go into marriage having, stating that “Being able to trust, count on and predict one's spouse is paramount to a healthy, happy relationship”. With that being true it is safe to say trusts and meeting each others expectations is essential to a marriage and without paying attention to those key aspects the marriage can parish quickly. In this same article Olver asks couples what their non negotiable were in their marriage and they listed the same 5 things listed above. All five of these causes are common and almost always one of the reasons for a marriage ending in divorce. Sometimes the effects of the cause can be worse than the actual cause, and in my opinion they almost always
To begin, one of the leading causes of divorce is infidelity. Infidelity happens when the husband or wife decides to replace their spouse with another one secretly. In other words it is known as cheating. The reason for this is that after the spouse discovers that his or her partner is cheating, the spouse feels that he or she cannot trust the partner ever again. As the partner finds about this infidelity, he or she would definitely get these mixed and negative emotions, which are often the reason for a divorce (Meyer, n.d.). One of the emotions that the person feels is anger. A person would certainly get angry after finding out about the affair because it is considered as a violation of the vows that they took when they first got married and as damage to the marriage and relationship (Meyer, n.d.). Another emotion felt by the spouse is denial and rejection. A person feels that he or she is no longer wanted and are rejected when they discover that another replaced them (Meyer, n.d.)....