Wait a second!
More handpicked essays just for you.
More handpicked essays just for you.
Divorce and its effect on the family
Divorce and family dynamics
Divorce And Conflict Theory
Don’t take our word for it - see why 10 million students trust us with their essay needs.
Recommended: Divorce and its effect on the family
The night my husband proposed to me was full of family, good food and wine, but it was also one full of anxiety. His family was uncomfortable with me, and I with them. I don 't believe anyone truly wanted us to get married, and his mother was wrought with nerves. His brother and pregnant wife felt confused, and torn . Yet, we sat down, we smiled, we drank, we ate, and ignored the silent accusations permeating through the air. To truly understand, I would have to take you back, about a year, to the divorce of my first husband. We had gotten married at a young age and we were just short of one decade, and three children in. The reasons for the divorce are not the story here, just that after many unhappy years I decided to break free. So, here …show more content…
I was supportive of her troubled marriage and kept my turmoil to myself, she never saw my divorce coming, many did not. She was having some trouble adjusting to my divorce, and in retrospect, I believe she was jealous. The nice young man who came to talk to me, was the third brother of the groom, the only single one. We talked and drank for hours and I began to find myself again, the girl I had put away in the dark corners of my mind. The night ended and we all went home alone, but I could not get him off my mind. A few days later we agreed to meet up for some drinks, and one date led to another, I felt alive and respected and in love. We came out as a couple, and Jeannie did not take it well. We stopped talking and she spread malicious, false rumors about me, ones the family believed, as she was family, and I was not. As things progressed and we moved in together it became time to meet the family. At this point in time Jeannie and her husbands issues had become more public, and the family was beginning to see a side to her they did not …show more content…
We were certain we wanted to get married eventually, but others were still confused. Having to weigh the slander and rumors they had heard, against the woman sitting in front of them, became increasingly more difficult. Jeannie 's credibility had taken a hit, no one knew what to believe anymore. I smiled though the meal and hoped that time would help them see me clearly. Once desert was served, I was itching to leave, politeness dictated I had to stay for a short while. Out of no where, in front of his mother, brother and sister- in – law he gets on his knee and proposes. My mind was racing, of course I wanted to marry this man, but not like this, not with hostile eyes on me, judging me. Having spent to long unhappy, I shook it off, what did it matter how they felt, this man wanted to marry me. Apprehensively, I agreed, his mother threatened my life if I should hurt him, and we returned home. Since that day, there have been many meals, but now they are filled with genuine laughter, people I call family, and all those I love dearly. Those uncomfortable days, now a thing of the past, as is Jeannie. Her toxicity eradicated, we are thriving, and his mom is now a step-grandma, and a
The starting of the story kept me in suspense: the starting sentence, “No one can accuse Philippa and me of having married in haste” (Fox 1). This clearly brought up the theme of love and marriage. The selection of words by the narrator told that the speaker did not regret his marriage. The defensive tone of the narrator made me to think that perhaps people had criticized his marriage.
When someone is confronted with legal separation from the person to whom they've committed their adult life, it may seem as though their whole life is disintegrating right before their eyes, especially if they're not the one choosing the separation. The future stops existing, and only an empty present looms ahead. For some, the feelings evoked by a divorce and the issues that surround it pass relatively quickly; for others, the anguish and consequences last for years.
Divorce has grown conventional in today's society. First marriages stand a 50% chance of breaking up and second marriages stand a 67% chance of doing the same thing (issue 8 pg 146). It seems as if instead of working out problems and believing in love, people are giving up and throwing away all they worked on together for so long, thinking that their next marriage will be much different. By doing this they are hurting not only themselves but also their children and could cause them to have negative side effects later on into their adult lives according to clinical psychologist Judith S. Wallerstein. Erikson's theory of personality development can help calculate which and how stages are affected when parents get divorce. Stages 3, 4, 5 and 6 seem to be the most affected by the divorce because the main conflicts the child is confronting at the time are necessary to go through them calmly for a healthy development.
In today’s society, women tend to feel pressured into finding a spouse before the opportunity to fall in love passes by. Unfortunately, love is not the only reason for two people to get married. Support and security provide a person with the comfort of not being alone for the rest of their lives, however, many fear time may run out if they do not act fact. In Margaret Atwood’s The Edible Woman, Marian McAlpin displays struggles in her decision to commit to her fiancé; Peter. Although she admires him, something just isn’t quite right. In the Over...
Divorce is a word that everyone knows very well, no matter what the age. These days, everyone knows at least one person that has either been in a divorce or whose parents are divorced. Today, about 50% of all marriages end in divorce('No-Fault' Divorce, 2004). Between the time that half of those couples get married and divorced, many of them had children. By 2004, "one in four children lived in single-parent homes"('No-Fault' Divorce, 2004). After the divorce, not only are the adults hurting, but the children are also. Throughout the divorce, the parents are caught up in each other, money, possessions, and their own pain that without even realizing it, their children are hurting too. Adults are becoming more careless and think less about how compatible they are to their partners. Some couples have children shortly after the wedding before they adjust to each other. After their children are born, the real problems start to become more relevant. With new problems surfacing and raising children at the same time, it becomes very difficult and divorce sounds like an answer to the problems.
Wallerstein, J. S., & Lewis, J. M. (2004). The unexpected legacy of divorce: Report of a 25-year study. Psychoanalytic Psychology, 21(3), 353-370.
Divorce should be harder to obtain due to the effect that it has on children the main effect it has on the children is depression. “ In the short term divorce is always troublesome for children Mavis Hetherington videotaped and scrutinized the workings of 1400 divorced families since the early 1970’s. Hetherington pinpoints a crisis period of about two years in the immediate aftermath of separation when the adults, preoccupied with their own lives, typically takes their eye off parenting just when their children are reeling from loss and feeling bewildered” (Hethrington 2). This article states that the short term effect of divorce affects the kid deep because they feel that they lost one forever and in those 1400 many of the kids felt the effect of the divorce. “Wallerstein has told us that divorce abruptly ends kids’ childhood, filling it with loneliness and worry about their parents, and hurting them prematurely and recklessly into adolescence. (Wallerstein 2).” This later affects the kids life because they try to think of happy memories they had but really all they can think about is the parent that they loss due to the divorce. “Contrary to the popular perceptions, the alternative to most divorces is not life in a war zone. Though more than 50 percent of all marriages currently end in divorce, experts tell us that only about 15 percent of all unions involve high levels of conflict. In the vast number of divorces, then, there is no gross strife or violence that could warp a youngster’s childhood. The majority of marital break-ups are driven by a quest for greener grass—and in these cases the children will almost always be worse off. (Zinsmeister 2)” this proves to me that when people get a divorce they most of the time don’t ...
With this ring I thee wed…. For better or worse, for richer or poorer…. Traditionally, two people speak these words on their wedding day, the day that two become one, the day that two people begin a life together and share an unbreakable union. This may be so in some cases but not all. Divorce among Americans is rampant. In society today divorces are as common as marriages themselves. Couples meet, date, fall in love, marry, and have children and then one day: Wham! Something is just not right with the relationship anymore, so they opt for the easy way out, the big "D". They get a divorce, is this really the easy way? The legalities and dissolution of the union may be easy and painless, but what about the emotions that are still in tact? Although a divorce may be hard on the adults involved, what about the children? What happens to the kids of these broken marriages?
It was the last Saturday in December of 1997. My brother, sister, and I were chasing after each other throughout the house. As we were running, our parents told us to come and sit down in the living room. They had to tell us something. So, we all went down stairs wondering what was going on. Once we all got down stairs, the three of us got onto the couch. Then, my mom said, “ Well…”
Finally after what seemed like years, I walked out to greet my new father-in-law and my new wife. I shook his hands as he gave away his youngest daughter to start our own family, and then I reached out for the arm of my bride. Together we walked the rest of the way down the aisle and stood in front of the pastor’s
Divorce is an emotionally painful experience for everyone involved, especially toward the children in the family. But yet, the law officials continue fabricating laws and devising regulations to make it harder for spouses seeking a divorce or separation to get one. The family has to deal with child custody and support, spousal support such as counseling, property distribution, and a possible name change. Divorce is not only a financial struggle for the families involved, but it is also a nuisance between family relationships.
Our wedding cost a total of seventy-two dollars, this included the license and ceremony. I should also include the cost of what I call 'our wedding planner.' His name was Jake and he was a taxi driver, he charged us fifteen dollars and we tipped him fifteen for his extra duties, it was a special day. When we arrived in Las Vegas from Boulder our car started to over heat from the long drive through the hot desert. We decided to park it at the hotel. We hailed a cab and set off to find a place to get married. We had a deadline; our honeymoon was scheduled to begin the next day. The cab driver drove us past several different chapels giving us details about each one. After a brief survey of chapels we asked him to drop us off at the justice of the peace. The chapels just seemed too cheesy and besides, I had no real affection for Elvis. He dropped us off in front of a large, very official looking building to get the license and he directed us across the street to a small brick office where the ceremonies are held. I had the distinct feeling that he has provided this service a few times before in his career.
Divorce isn’t always as bad as people portray it. Commonly realized, divorce isn’t a great thing to happen to a family. But being in a bad relationship can have more negative effects on a child than divorce. In a study conducted of 98 couples, that later divorced, 80% of their children felt that their parents split was a good decision. Of the 20% that felt it wasn’t a good decision, most came from more abusive families. Being together in a bad relationship can actually cause more harm than good. Parents commonly think that by staying together for the kid’s sake will it eliminate negative effects and help their kids thrive. Nevertheless they see their parents unhappiness creating a more tense environment. Provided that the parents are abusive or are more vocal about their opinions then it can actually create a traumatic environment around the child, making them feel unsafe or timid constantly. What the minority of people know is that divorce can actually give kids positive vibes. Divorce can teach kids to focus on the positives and keep moving forward in life. In a Harper Collins book it says (We’re still family: What grown Children have to say about their parents divorce) that “ kids more commonly emerge wiser in spite of- or perhaps because of- their complex histories.” Multiple studies have proven, kids who have experienced divorce emerge mo...
Tradition is a strong component in the institution of marriage. The ideal American dream usually involves the perfect fairy-tale wedding with the gorgeous white wedding dress for the bride, the matching bridesmaids, the well-arranged bouquet and the numerous rituals that compose this well thought-out event. Usually it requires a great amount of planning, devotion and dollars to make the important day memorable. Family and friends come together to rejoice in the vows that will bond the two lovers into a lifetime journey of love, commitment and fidelity. Each person in the couple is expected to have a role in this institution. According to Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, “in the idealized form of the older model of traditional marriage, the man’s primary job for self-definition is to provide for the economic well-being, protection, and stability of his family ...The woman’s job and self-definition”, on the other hand, continue Wallerstein and Blakeslee, “is to care for her husband and children and to create a comfortable home that nourishes everyone, particularly her husband, who comes home each evening drained by the demands of his job (211).” With a constantly changing society, the concept of marriage has also varied. The “quickie” Vegas drive-through wedding or the underwater vow exchange is not as unusual or shocking as it once was. Even the roles of the persons involved have changed to fit the shape of society’s needs. For example the modern “companionate marriage” which is “founded on the couple’s shared beliefs that men and women are equal partners in all spheres of life and that their roles, including those of marriage, are completely interchangeable (Wallerstein, Blakeslee 155).
In today’s society, marriage is common when it comes to a couple that appears to be in love. Marriage is a form of union recognized by law. There is no law that forbids a certain age for dating, but most state laws declare that in order for a couple to get married one must be a minimum of 18 years old without parental consent. Little does society know the responsibilities that come with marriage and the hardships and struggles they may encounter. In detail, a couple marries, something goes wrong so they decide to divorce. Just as it is common for marriage, it is common for people to divorce. Divorce is the legal ending of a valid marriage contract. However, divorce can be caused due to several circumstances and can have a tremendous effect on many issues such as amongst themselves, children if any, and family relationships.