Humorous Wedding Speech

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Ladies, Chris Harrison begins, this is the final rose tonight. One of you ladies will be soon wedded to this fine young man, Prince Paris, Prince of England, son of King Priam, the most high humble prince. If you do not receive a rose tonight, say your goodbyes and go home. I inhale a deep breath and make my final decision. I delicately pick up the beautiful golden rose from the silver shining tray. “Aphrodite”, I announce. She glides up to me with a seductive smile. I notice that the other two women, Hera and Athena, chunk their gifts across the room. Aphrodite’s gift prances along side her, looking up at me with those precious eyes. “Aphrodite, will you accept my final rose?” Of course, she responds. I honestly just wanted the puppy …show more content…

She is the purest, rarest and most beautiful breed in all the land. She would make an excellent dog to get manicures, massages, and have spa days with! he exclaims to his servant. A few weeks pass by with Helen at the palace. She is starting to adjust to palace life. Then one day, his servant knocks on Paris’ door. “What do you want?” he asks. “Sir, she begins, there is a man outside the palace claiming you stole something of his.” There are many men accompanying him. “Who is he?” He demands. Menelaus, the king of Canada. Paris walks to the garden which is where his servant led Menelaus. “Good afternoon!” he exclaims. “Good afternoon, Paris”, Menelaus responds. “What seems to be the problem?” Paris asks. “My ex wife is Aphrodite, he begins, we bought the puppy together right before we divorced. We paid over a million dollars for her because she is the last of her breed. The puppy is mine and it was never Aphrodite’s right to gift you her. So, I'm sincerely sorry for the misunderstanding and inconvenience but I need my puppy back.” “Haha! I'm not giving Helen back. Maybe you should have handled your wife in the beginning before you got in this mess. Sorry not my problem, Paris retorts. “You act like your arrogance is a virtue, Paris”, Menelaus calmly responds. Menelaus begins to walk away as Paris is throwing insults at him. “Keep talking Prince! Maybe someday you'll say something intelligent! Menelaus shouts. The gate

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