Humorous Wedding Roast to a Groom Who is a Sports Fan

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Humorous Wedding Speech to a Groom Who is a Sports Fan Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. For those of you that don't know me, my name is Rick and I'm Tim's oldest friend. I'm also a complete novice at public speaking and have this overwhelming urge to prove it to you today. I'd like to start off by saying that in marrying Rhonda this afternoon, Tim really has made the ultimate sacrifice. Not only has he given up his status as a single man, he has actually had to miss a pre-season game. And no Tim, I'm not going to cut this speech short so you can get back for the second half. Still, at least we're not missing the first game of the season. I am sure you will all agree that this has turned out to be a fabulous wedding celebration so far. Rhonda, you really do look beautiful in that dress and I could see Tim swelling with pride as you walked down the aisle earlier today. Now, as I said, I'm Tim's oldest friend. We are exceptionally close and very alike. In fact, friends used to comment that we were identical in appearance, interests and personality. So let me remind you, ladies and gentlemen, that Tim is a stunning individual oozing charisma and intelligence. So, starting from the very beginning, Tim was born in Portsmouth on the 6th January 1976. I did try to link this with some big world event but it seems that nothing else happened that day … the day that the staff at Portsmouth Royal Infirmary still refer to as ‘Monkey Birth Tuesday’. It may surprise you to know that, as a youngster, Tim was a superb football player and if it wasn't for pubs opening all day he may very well have turned professional. For two seasons I played along side Tim in defense for our local village side. He got me into the team and on my first game, said: ‘OK, Jason - here's how this works. You do all the heading and tackling and, when you get the ball, give it to me, I'll take it up the field and score.’ Tim finished up top scorer that season, netting twice as many as our centre forward. But we finished bottom of the league and conceded an average of eight goals a game. We once lost a game 22-1, and guess who scored our goal.

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