I grew up in a very 'non-visibly gay' part of the country: The Midwest. Worse even- I hail from a staunch evangelical family. Before now, my parents had never known anyone openly gay. This completely rendered my formative exposure to a minimum. I also grew up without cable, which does indeed retard my adulthood pulp conversations. My ideas of homosexuality were predominately characterized by Ernie and Bert on Sesame Street and Jack Tripper from Three's Company, whose character only pretended to be gay to get cheap rent. There was also a neighbor boy on Too Close For Comfort, whom was just assumed to be gay, but was never outed.
When I was twelve and thirteen I latched on to role-model boys. The pictures I choose to put beside my bed were that of Danny Pintauro from Who's the Boss, and Chad Allen from Our House and later Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. How was I supposed to know that they were both going to end up as the flaming friends of Judy? (Gay) How was I supposed to know that numerous conversations with Chad fifteen years later would be absolutely key in my decision to come out to my family.
Sexual identity wasn?t something I had any sense about until the past few years. I was a ?late bloomer? some might say, but somehow it worked, just awkwardly timed. My first visit to a gay bar came at a very untimely period about a year and a half into my marriage with my ex-wife. There was so much of the world I didn?t know about. I was walking blindly, but seeking eagerly. My first marriage happened from ages twenty-one and lasted until I was twenty-five. I really gave it an honest try, but it just didn?t work. It became apparent to me rather quickly that the situation of my marriage was more than a bit obtuse, but once...
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...s that I just lost it all over a small television screen for a nameless leather-bear, and I wanted to do it again. I had raced with this burning for years, but it was now beginning to win. Now, I didn?t want to stop it. I crept closer every minute to coming out. Everything was on the verge of just going so very wrong.
As I stepped through the doors onto the street, I thought about the guy that had walked me there from the bar: he looked out for me. He was kind and caring, yet reserved. I wondered if I would ever see him again. Who knows, I would love to run into him again. If you see a single, Jewish man in his early 30?s, who is talking about coming back to Philly, tell him I said ?hello and thanks?. If I ever want to look him up I should probably start with the carpenter?s union. Did I mention that he grew up in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania? Seriously.
Andrew Sullivan, author of, What is a Homosexual, portrays his experience growing up; trapped in his own identity. He paints a detailed portrait of the hardships caused by being homosexual. He explains the struggle of self-concealment, and how doing so is vital for social acceptation. The ability to hide one’s true feelings make it easier to be “invisible” as Sullivan puts it. “The experience of growing up profoundly different in emotional and psychological makeup inevitably alters a person’s self-perception.”(Sullivan)This statement marks one of the many reasons for this concealment. The main idea of this passage is to reflect on those hardships, and too understand true self-conscious difference. Being different can cause identity problems, especially in adolescents.
Growing up in the bubbled LDS community of Pleasant View, Utah, most views on gay or lesbian relationships fell into the sinful category. My grade school classmates called each other gay using the term to demean. An elementary friend told me gay people were sent to hell and grossed her out. In sixth grade, this friend and I sat next to each other in class. The teacher was in her mid-forties, unmarried, had short hair, and wore masculine clothes. Our ignorant twelve-year-old minds jumped to the conclusion she was lesbian. I remember my friend and me concocting plans as to how we were going to prove our teacher was lesbian. Once again, we were idiot children. Throughout the year we discussed evidence we had found and its apparent validity. Along with the detective work, we would make comments about my teacher favoring girl class mates because she had crushes on them. For the third time, we were ignorant, idiotic and mean-hearted kids when it came to homosexuality. I stress this so much because we were impressionable. Our peers had given us the idea that being gay or lesbian was bad and without knowing any better, we stuck to it and acted...
However there have been a variety of critiques regarding the media’s portrayal of same-sex couples and gay marriage. People who go solely off the media’s depiction of gay and lesbians could have a skewed view of what they are actually like. This could be detrimental for youth who are developing their ideas of what homosexuals are actually like and this is their only source of information on it. This leads to stereotyping different types of gay people. Also for young people, the media depiction of gay people has led to the idea that this is “cool” and treat their homosexual friends differently.
The term sexual orientation is known as the preference of one’s sexual partners, whether the same sex, opposite sex, or both sexes. Sexual orientation occurs when a child reaches the adolescent stages in life (Broderick & Blewitt, 2015). Adolescents activate their sexual orientation within four steps that create their identity. Adolescents are unaware of their identity at the beginning stages of sexual orientation. They work their way into the exploration stage by learning their preference of sexual partners. Once they are aware of their sexual identity, they will start the process of acceptance. Once acceptance is achieved, they will begin to integrate their sexual orientation into their lives (Gallor & Fassinger, 2010).
Lately it seems like everyone is "coming out" as lgbtq because it seems like the coolest thing to do. Kids at school don't understand that just a few years ago, coming out was horrible. In the past few years, so much has changed for the LGBTQ Community. Marriage is being legalized all over the place, and people are learning to speak out about their rights. Six years ago, my parents found out I was bisexual after they went through my computer. My mom screamed, cried, threw things, and questioned me relentlessly. She couldn't possibly understand what it was that I was going through. At school, I was bullied and pushed around because I was that "weird little lesbian". In a small school of just a little under 200, once one person knew something about you, everyone knew your secret. The world dropped out from underneath my feet.
When television first appeared back in the 1940's, times were very different. What we would consider completely normal today would have seemed quite taboo just a few decades ago. For example, in 1953, Lucille Ball was not allowed to say the word "pregnant" while she was expecting baby Ricky and it wasn't until the 1960's show Bewitched, that we saw a married couple actually sharing the same bed. Considering how conservative the television networks were back then, it is not hard to deduce that something as controversial as homosexuality would be far from discussed or portrayed at any level. It was only in 1973 that television premiered its first homosexual character. Over the next three decades the emergence of gay and lesbian characters in television has increased and decreased as the times have changed. Due to the resurgence of conservatism that came back in the early 1980's, homosexual topics were again reduced to a minimum. Since that time though, as many people can see, there has been a rise of gay and lesbian characters on television. One might think after a first glance at the previous sentence that there has been progress among gay and lesbian communities to have a fair representation in the media. However, if one looks hard at the circumstances surrounding their portrayal, many people may start to believe that if there has been any progress then it has been quite minimal.
The act of "coming out" is a complex political tool. Its use is open to ambiguous possibilities, ranging from subverting social order to reinforcing those power structures. Of course, it is undoubtedly an empowering act for many non-heterosexual persons to identify themselves as such. Even if the categories of "heterosexual" and "homosexual" are entirely socially constructed (as Michel Foucault argues), that does not mean that they are not real categories of thought that shape the way we live our lives. Indeed, my computer is entirely constructed, but is still undeniably real. Since many non-heterosexual people do live their lives identifying differently from heterosexual people, they may find "homosexual" (or a similar label) an accurate description of their identities and daily lives, however socially contingent that description is. That said, I do not wish to make a judgement call on whether or not someone should or should not come out. Rather, I wish to examine the complicated space represented by "the closet" and the multifarious effects that "coming out" has on the larger social structure.
The debate over homosexuality as nature or nurture dominates most topics about homosexuality. People often confuse the nature/nurture issue with the development of gay identity. In fact, the nature/nurture argument plays a small, insignificant role concerning gay youths (Walling 11). Homosexual identity is the view of the self as homosexual in association with romantic and sexual situations (Troiden 46) Many researchers have either discussed or created several models or theories concerning the development of homosexual identity. However, the most prominent is Troiden’s sociological four-stage model of homosexual identity formation. Dr. Richard R. Troiden desc...
In 1973, An American Family, a PBS series, featured one of the family’s sons revealing his homosexuality. In 1977, the television show Soap costarred Billy Crystal as an openly gay man. In the 1980s, it became trendy to feature gay and lesbian characters in ensemble casts. If you watch reruns, you can always find the token gay, that is, the really flaming homo or the butch lesbian gym teacher. The motion picture Mannequin, starring Andrew McCarthy and Kim Catrall, featured Meshach Taylor as Hollywood, an eccentric, finger-snapping homosexual.
There are several theorists that have presented models on sexual identity development. Many of the models have stages of sexual identity development suggesting that certain characteristics are present during a specific period. However, Anthony D’Augelli presents a model that suggests processes rather than stages. These processes take place over the span of one’s life and not necessarily in any specific order or fashion. D’Augelli’s (1994a) life span model of lesbian, gay and bisexual (LGB) identity development takes into account “the complex factors that influence the development of people in context over historical time” (Evans et al, 2010). According to D’Augelli’s (1994) theory, identity formation includes three sets of interrelated variables that are involved in identity formation: personal actions and subjectivities, interactive intimacies, and sociohistorical connections. Personal subjectivities and actions include individuals’ perceptions and feelings about their sexual identities as well as actual sexual behaviors and the meanings attached to them. Interactive intimacies include the influences of family, peer group, and intimate partnerships and the meanings attached to experiences with significant others. Sociohistorical connections are defined as the social norms, policies and laws found in various geographical locations and cultures, as well as the values existing during particular historical periods (Evans et al, 2010).
In the rural, Catholic village that I grew up in, there were a total of 3-5 gay people ranging in age from teenagers to adults. When we would go out of town and see a presumed member of the LGBT community, I often heard homophobic comments. Most of the residents in my hometown were born and raised there, for at least two generations. Be it that homosexuality used to be considered a mental illness or the fact that everyone is Catholic, the community was moderately homophobic. This played a large role in the formation of my identity over the next several
If you were to go back to the 1950’s you would realize how differently homosexuality was looked at compared to today. Men were arrested because of their homosexual relations; people looked at it as a disease, something that was possibly curable. Over time, people have started to become more open and proud about their sexual orientation, demanding basic rights that had been taken from them. In our generation, homosexuality is a major component of Pop Culture and is one of the many causes of disputes between the citizens of the United States and their government.
In today's society, there exists a mixture of issues which tend to raise arguments with people all over. There are a handful of topics that always seem to escalate these differences between people to the point where one who earnestly participates in discussion, debate and argument can direct their anger towards their feelings on the person themselves. Some examples of such delicate subjects are the death penalty, abortion, and euthanasia. An issue that has in recent years, begun to increase arguments, is the acceptability of homosexuality in society. Until recently, homosexuality was considered strictly taboo. If an individual was homosexual, it was considered a secret to be kept from all family, friends, and society. However, it seem that society has begun to accept this lifestyle by allowing same sex couples. The idea of coming out of the 'closet' has moved to the head of homosexual individuals when it used to be the exception. Homosexuality is nothing to be ashamed of and we should all come to realize this.
middle of paper ... ... Works Cited Adam Sharpiro, Megan Schultz, Christina Roush, Cassandra Schofar, Emily Shilling, Tawnia Simpson, Natalie Sampiller. Portrayal of Homosexuality in Media. 26 March 2014 http://www.bgsu.edu/departments/tcom103fall2004/gp16.pdf>. Huegel, Kelly.
One more thing. Why should I already know? I'm not even an adult. I shouldn't be forced to decide such things. They can change your life. Feeling forced to do something is just awful. I'm just sitting here thinking about my feelings and I don't even know what I should do. All these scenarios pop up in my head and they are all catastrophes. There's only one thing I know for sure considering the LGBT community. I support them. But am I part of it? I honestly don't know and that makes me think I am. Like how can you not know if you're straight or not. And saying straight sounds like everything else is just wrong. All this talking about one's