During my freshman year of high school, I was in a downward spiral. Quickly were my grades dropping. Along with them went my motivation. This decrescendo was occurring at the hands of a boy. Entering into high school, we had been dating for a year, which felt like an eternity to my fourteen-year-old self. That all changed in November. He broke the relationship and he broke my heart. I felt deserted, having no friends and now no boyfriend. I no longer completed school work. I slept any time that I could. Then, he came back. Except that he didn't want me. The unfeeling boy maintained control of my heart, and this he was aware of. As long as he had my heart, he had me. Using this knowledge, he toyed with me. This antagonist would speak of getting
back together with me, but only if I acted how he wanted. He set rules for me, from clothes I could wear to the words I could or could not say. Naively, I followed his commandments. This went on until I realized that he would never commit to me. Sometimes I miss him. Those times are my least favorite. He ruined me, pushing me to become someone that I was not. Though, I still peer for him around school some days. His scent, nevertheless, is one that I always prefer. But yet, I never feel the desire to reach out to him again. In the past two years, I have come to understand that he does not want the best for me. He wants the version of me that he created in his twisted mind. Similarly, I want the version of him that I create in my memory. The version that makes my heart flutter and my mind blank. An amiable, pure variety of him. Sometimes I miss him.
But I did not know about the demons he was fighting within that is why it hurts because looking back he was screaming but no one came to rescue him. But he never told anyone he had depression not even his girlfriend, and I still do not get it. But I am still fully grasping and learning from it. The weekend before he committed suicide I was on a hike with him and some other friends and no one noticed. This is what hurts me the most because I could have done something but did not. The rest of the school week I was a mess. I attended school Thursday because I was still could not grasp it. His wake was scheduled for Friday and that was when I finally realized. I spent the majority of Thursday night crying and got little sleep and stayed home from school Friday. At hs wake, I could barely keep my composure and started to cry when I saw his casket and talked to his parents. It took me weeks to start acting myself again and by then I was behind on school work. My teachers were very accepting of my situation and gave me extra time so when I turned in all my late work I lost no credit but instead of feeling grateful I felt
It was the fourth year of my school carrier. In other words, the year of truth if I would make the cut to the higher education track. I was nervous because I knew that I would be capable of going this route, but I the feeling of concern was stronger because I haven’t had performed very well in my fourth year so far. At the end of the school year, I received the shocking news that I didn’t make the cut to go to the school which would have had allowed me to go to University later on in my life. I was sad, disappoint in myself, and lost self-esteem in my educational abilities. At this time, I was more embarrassed then able to realize the real benefit of a system which early on tracks children’s
Sometimes our emotions can trigger what we feel inside and get to the best of us when we do something negative; this is known as guilt. Guilt comes in a variety of different ways that can help us learn from what’s right or wrong. In “The Tell-Tale Heart”, the narrator demonstrates an example of how guilt can conquer your mind and self even without awareness. Because of this, he enters a state of rampage that he should be condemned for and hold accountable of. The way the narrator portrays himself reveals to the reader that he experiences behavior issues such as madness, paranoia and monomania which causes him to feel extreme guilt.
Throughout my four years in high school I have been fortunate enough to fulfill many of my aspirations and my thirst for knowledge. One goal that I would like to achieve is to become an international attorney. I have aligned my involvement in specific academic and extra-curricular activities to aid me preparing for the long road between my present situation and the day I pass the bar exam. Through my high school activities I have learned three virtues that I have deemed necessary to achieve my goal, passion, self-discipline, and perseverance.
We often hear the expression, "The sky is the limit", but for people of a small town, you hear, "The corn is the limit." I grew up in a town with two thousand people. It is a town that takes no more than two minutes to drive through, and it is not much for the eyes. All around, you will see corn, corn, and more corn.
As discussed in class, discourse is our communication. Furthermore, author James Paul Gee of “What is Literacy” defines discourse as an “identity kit” (Gee, “What is Literacy?”). Gee includes discourse as a combination of one’s thinking, acting, and language that is associated to a group of others. There are different kinds of discourses; two discourses that will be discussed in this paper are primary and secondary. Primary discourse is the “oral mode developed in the primary process of enculturation” (Gee, “What is Literacy?”). The primary discourse in this paper is the first-person experience I had in high school. Secondary discourse is “developed in association with and by having access to and practice with these secondary institutions” (Gee, “What is Literacy?”). School, work, and church are examples of secondary institutions. The secondary discourse in the paper is attending the University of Arkansas and writing this paper. According to Gee, “secondary discourse can serve as a meta-discourse to critique the primary discourse…” (“What is Literacy?”). Throughout this process I wanted to know if high school is destined. Was my high school experience awful or is there a sociological reasoning behind the events? With that, I have researched the social construct and applied it to my previous experiences enabling me to truly discover if high school is destined.
I attended Fort Pierce Westwood High School, a title-1 secondary institution, which on average does not receive a grade mark higher than a “C” from the state of Florida’s Department of Education. It was at FPWHS where I realized how privileged I had been to attend magnet schools from primary schooling up through middle school. My first day at the school, I witnessed a massive riot where mace and pepper spray were used to defuse the commotion that had broken out after the school was defeated by it’s rival school in the annual football showdown and upheaval surrounding several murders that had taken place over the weekend as well. Here I was entering an hostile environment full of turmoil and hurt realizing that I now wasn’t in my bubble of comfort
Last night was my 1st cross country meet this year! It was VERY fun and enjoyable, except for ride there. It took more than an HOUR to arrive at the meet. My team was very thrilled and happy to participate in this 1 mile meet. The rest of my meets will be 2 miles, since I'm in Middle School. I did pretty well, just like the rest of my team. We will hopefully do just as well, if not better in one of our upcoming meets. We have 5 more we compete in, as well as a daily practice after every school day. I LOVE running cross country, it is really fun and YOU should consider trying it
Like so many innocent, selfless girls, untouched by the world, I forgave him. The pain dispersing through my body reminded me that I was strong and all I needed to do was heal. I would cry without tears at first, the sadness inside me so intense, that the hollowness in my heart would weigh me down. My heart’s deep hollowness was so immense, that the loudest shrie...
I was very excited to make a new step in my life, college. I came with high hopes and aspirations. My hometown is not near Arizona, It is Lake Tahoe, Nevada, so going home for the weekend was simply out of the question. I had a great time for the first month, enjoying freedom. However, I was sitting in my room one night writing a paper with my roommate, and one of my friends from home called me. She said that one of our good friends from high school had just committed suicide earlier that day. I didn’t know how to react to this; I was scared, and confused. Why did he do it? Why didn’t anyone know that he was unhappy? Was he unhappy? I felt regret, thinking I should have been there for him. Once the crying commenced, my mother called me telling me that my last grandma had gone into the hospital. She had collapsed in her apartment and was rushed to the emergency center. I had no idea what to do. I felt like God was just condemning me and attacking me for some reason. I went into this deep depression and I didn’t want anyone to talk to me, if they did, I would simply start crying. I was alone, and no one knew who I was. I was too far away from home to go to my friend’s ceremony.
It was the start of the summer of 2009 and I just got done with my first year of middle school. From the first day of middle school I couldn’t wait to get off of school and start summer vacation and now the day is here. My family decided to take a vacation to Binghamton, which is in New York to visit my cousin. The car drive there was ten hours long and halfway on the trip we ran out of gas and was a couple of miles from the gas station so me and my dad and I had to walk there to get gas and come back to where the car was parked which made the car trip even longer and stressful. After that it was a smooth ride and we got to Binghamton in no time.
The JV game has just ended and your “pep” talk with Rich is over. Although you want to cry, try and remember to put on a brave face. After the pep talk it’s time to warm up for the varsity game, and by warm up, I’m implying that you rebound for the varsity starters. One sad, little fact you should keep in mind during your time spent during the varsity game is that you are second tier: expendable and a little unnecessary. As dispiriting as it may seem, you are there solely to assist the varsity members. Still always be prepared to jump into the game just in case anyone is injured or the team is ahead.
When I entered eighth grade, a wave of anger toward my parents for oppressing me came on and I decided that I was going to be a little reckless. I decided I was going to get a boyfriend, something my parents have always forbade. It didn’t take long for me to find one, but it took almost a year for everything to go very wrong. June of 2012 was when I found out about my boyfriend. We had been dating for almost ten months, but broke up for three days in May after a fight. When we calmed down from the fight we got back together, but what I did not know until June was that in those three days, he was with another girl. Now I know that we were broken up so I might have just gotten angry that he didn’t tell me, but that wasn’t all he did. We had another fight in June before our anniversary and instead of trying to work it out with me, he went to that same girl and cheated on me. So I broke up with him and honestly, I was okay. After that fiasco, I realized that I am a strong and independent person. I don 't need a guy to make me happy and I deserved someone far better than him. I think I could have handled the heartbreak, but that wasn’t all that happened that
I threw my books on the bed and approached the jacket slowly as if it were a large object, larger than I was, and it’s gravity was pulling me towards it. I studied it carefully It wasn’t the exact type I wanted, but it was nice. Much nicer than I thought my family could afford. It was a black basketball hoodie, with blue camouflage on the hood and arms. It had an extra layer on the inside, so it had to be warm. I put it on. Soon, I was almost overheating. I flapped the jacket’s arms like birds wings. I looked in the mirror, combing my hair, checking to see if it was just as cool on me as it was off. I ran outside giving lots of gratitude to my mother, thank you very much.
“Why did they leave?” I wail. Tears stream down my face, and the feeling of being lost fills my body. That one sentence flies around my head, and it’s like someone puts a dvd of my memories in, because they play on repeat inside my mind. I see the times we shared together; Pride Parade, dying hair, Galaxyland. I want to shout “Why can things be the way it should be??” but I don’t.