Helicopter Parenting Essay

In an article written by Kori Ellis, she mentions that, “helicopter parenting occurs when parents constantly interfere and interact in their children's lives. They are always there - hovering like a helicopter - micromanaging and over-analysing every little detail of the kids' lives" (Ellis 2011). A recent study from BYU family life professors Laura Padilla Walker and Larry J. Nelson (Walker & Nelson, 1996) identifies “helicopter parenting” as a form of parental control that can contribute to young adults taking longer to become independent. “However, our study and a few others suggest that hovering may contribute to a ‘failure to launch’ syndrome and potentially discourages college-aged children from becoming autonomous.” says Walker. It is not uncommon today to find a parent who protects their child throughout the child’s life. Today’s technology allows the hovering parent to constantly peruse and intrude into their children’s life with ease.

With the growing parental influence in modern society, the question of how much is too much involvement rises.

The main point, however, is that parents should know enough to keep their children safe, and no more. Parental involvement promises to remain a key issue, as students continue to find more and more ways around the watchful eyes of the parent.

Compared to a normal parent who is adequately involved in their child’s life, there is a helicopter parent who redefines the word “clingy”. From school to extracurricular activities, this “helicopter parent” is always tracking, following, and hovering over their children, tracing their offspring’s every step, whether their children like it or not. According to Marmee Cosico, a NY Healthy Living Examiner, “From this we can infer that there will be a delay in their developmental milestone in life where this can lead to dependent children towards their parents and worst could result to ‘fixation’. It means there will be

no room for growth when it comes to advancement in life settings” (Cosico 2012). Helicopter parenting has proven that hovered-over children grow up to be emotionally and financially dependent, are anxious, have low confidence and will not able to successfully interact socially compared to those who do not have this type of parents. The long-term delay in development affects children of different age groups in different ways. For example, when a parent attempts to solve every problem that their child has, they do not have the capability to find solutions to any difficulties they may face in school, university, or even in the workplace. It also hinders children from asserting themselves or questioning authority. In addition, these children are always shielded and do not understand the phrase “consequence of one’s actions”, and will have an impact on their future. Researchers at Keene State College in New Hampshire in the US has also found that even college-aged students who grew up with overprotective parents were less forthcoming with ideas, suggestions and participation (Fontaine n.d.). Therefore, even though helicopter parents may have the best intentions, it is evident that through research and observation that it has a significantly negative impact rather than a positive one on the children.
21st century technology also makes such paranoiac safeguarding even more prominent. Today, technology such as Txtwatcher.com, Aeries, School Loop and GPS permits parents to intrude into every aspect of their children’s lives. Although parents are expected to know what is going on in their child’s life, they must question whether that is really an appropriate system when they consider how much intrusion is possible into the child’s life. This technology is in place to allow parents to guard their children and stay relevant in their lives, not haunt them all the way to college and beyond. The consequences of such extreme protection can permanently constrain a child’s freedom and development. A constantly observed child will be lead to feel caged and inadequate, and a parent that is too intrusive can cause significant psychological damage to his child. Children are still developing as individuals, and therefore the concept of privacy varies uniquely at each stage of their lives. Technology can act as a catalyst for a great relationship between the parent and the child, but some helicopter parents seems to abuse this technology to intrude into their child’s life to a point where it can be detrimental to that child psychologically and emotionally.
Although, children do need to be comforted, guided and supported, these helicopter parents should restrain themselves from being over protective and overbearing. Children should be allowed to make independent decisions, have opinions, learn from their mistakes, be assertive and confident enough to face life’s harsh realities and fulfil their true potential in the world