Harlan Coben The Undercover Parent Summary

In the modern world, technology makes everything easier. They make finding information easy to meeting new people. This is great for those wanting new adventures, but unfortunate to those who come across false information. Teens are most susceptible to such information, and adults are trying to combat this. Parents, have gone from asking their children, to instead monitoring or “spying” on their children. In the article, “the undercover parent”, by harlan coben, coben states how parents must monitor their children in order for them to have a healthy childhood. I disagree with his statements as it is only an invasion of privacy. It can also be a sign of bad parenting and can show an unhealthy relationship between parent and child. Not to mention

a healthy childhood can come from different aspects and upbringing.
Ellen goodman, author of “big brother meets big mother”, is also against Coben's argument.

In his article he states “but there's a moment when the two way tools of communication turn into the one way tools of surveillance” (Goodman 15). This is a clear example of how simple monitoring can turn into an invasion of privacy. However, monitoring can also invade privacy. There's a common misconception that whatever is kept private, is bad. People tend to forget, that everyone is entitled to their own privacy. Adults are guilty of doing this to their children, especially if they monitor their child's phones. Parents like to assume the worst for their children, and in response, turn to monitoring. Parents, need to understand that not everything a person does on a phone is bad. Most teens know common sense and stay away from the negative side of the

internet.
The need to monitor can also be a result of bad parenting. Parenting,, if done right, can enable children to become independent and intelligent members. However if done incorrectly, can result in bad behaviour. That being said, adolescents are encouraged to try new things, and obviously, there will be mistakes. Goodman, states in her article,”teen are never really on their own. We may be protecting them right out of the ability to make their decisions” (Goodman 12). There is no way to know for certain how decisions will play out. There is also the issue of morality. Adolescents are going through a period of time where everything is constantly changing. Some of their decisions will be wrong, but it's important to know that they aren't doing it on purpose. Its hard trying to parent a child who is constantly making mistakes, but it doesn't mean that they should be monitored of their private talk with friends.
The monitoring of children can also cause a shift in the relationship.

Most times when a parent is overseeing their child's usage, the child is unaware. This can be considered many things, ranging from stalking to lying. The article also references these points in the words” ...if you are ot monitoring, you are a bad parent. Apparently were supposed to be stalking our kids” (Goodman 11). Stalking has negative connotations and it should stay that way. Many7 would try and argue that it's not stalking if they're your child, however it stays the same as they are watching over, their presence unaware. Once the child finds out, whether they did something bad or not, they may begin to suspect other forms of how their parent may monitor. It could also break the trust the child had with their parent. Many teens who found out their parent was monitoring them, often state how the paranoia has stayed with them well into their adult

lives.
They say that every three months, technology advances. With technology, comes the responsibility of use of products. The internet is known as a dangerous to some, however the good largely outweighs the bad. With each generation, we as a society, become more dependant and used to the internet. Many adults see this as bad, and choose to believe that they should monitor peoples usages, more specifically their child's. However, they don't see the negative outcomes that come with it, such as the invasion of privacy, and the beginning of an unhealthy relationship. It could also show that a parent is not the best at raising a child and in turn, chooses to meddle with their child's life. There is always two sides of a story, and to only focus on the parents side, ignores the basic rights of their child's privacy.